February 24th 2008 3:04 am
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My dearest Em,
I am writing to you through your diary, because I know that you are still checking out Dogster every day, probably with a little help from Phoebe and Daisy!
This is very hard for me to write, because every time I talk to you, I cry. Amber cries too, every single day, and yet we both know that it was time for you to go and you were suffering terribly. Yesterday we had a lovely letter from the vet, saying how brave you were and how it wasn't possible for you to stay with us any longer. He said that I had been brave to 'let you go', but I haven't let you go Em, you are still here with me, in my heart, and you always will be. He said that you were too young, and he was right, but perhaps Phoebe needed you even more than we did. She was always so lost without you.
Everything reminds us of you. The dogs yapping over the back - why don't you bark back we wonder? And then we remember why, and we cry. At gravy bone time, I always take out two bones, and then have to put one back in the box, although Amber would be happy to eat them both! I come down the stairs and I look for you, waiting at the bottom. I sit at my desk and I think that I can feel you on my feet, but it's a memory, and once again I remember the truth.
You were a true Angel Girl, beautiful on the inside and on the outside. When you went to the Rainbow Bridge, you took a tiny piece of my heart with you, which you must keep safely until we meet up again. You have had the most beautiful tributes from your Dogster pals. Poems, rosettes, gifts, cards and Amber and I have had the most incredible support from everyone to help us through these first dark, difficult days.
We are happy that you are now happy again, and back to being the lively, cheerful little girl you used to be; our sadness is selfish, because it is for ourselves and the fact that you are no longer here with us. Amber doesn't understand really, although I try to explain to her. She has a new snuggle blanket of her own, and lies on that in the front room, with a toy dog that is meant to be like you (!) for her to rest her head on. It isn't a very dainty dog, but she seems to like it. She twitters and lot, and looks out of the window for you, so if you could send us a rainbow one day that would be lovely for her and for me.
Alex is coming home on Friday. He sends you all his love, Em, but says that last time he saw you he was upset because you were in such pain and at least now he knows that you are your 'old' self again. He will miss you 'whispering' in his ear, especially as Amber doesn't know how to whisper at all, she can only bounce and be noisy! Right now she isn't noisy though, she's quiet, and the house seems quiet.
We love and miss you, dearest Em, and I will write to you again - or perhaps Amber will - in a little while. You are in our hearts every minute of every day.
With love and kisses to you my dearest little girl, and to Phoebe and Daisy too.
Mummy xxooxx (Amber sends a BIG kiss)
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