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Tomorrow, November 9th, will be one year since I held you in my arms and said goodbye to you. People told me time would help to heal my broken heart and in some ways that is true. I no longer cry everyday, but I still think of you and miss you each and every day. I wrote the following the day I let you go, but it still holds true one year later.
I miss the way you followed me from room to room or the way you slept on my feet when I sat at my computer.
I miss your sweet, soulful brown eyes and the way they stared at me with such love and affection.
I miss touching your silky fur, kissing your forehead and leaving lipstick marks on your face.
I miss cuddling next to you on your orthopedic bed and gently stroking you until you fell asleep.
I miss talking to you Rusty and the way you would kiss my face to let me know you were listening.
I miss you with all my heart sweet boy and I would give anything to hold you in my arms one more time.
Last night I had an incredible dream. I dreamt I was in a swimming pool and the water was up to my waist. My father who passed away in 2001 was standing in front of me. I was holding Rusty in my arms like a baby and his head was resting on my shoulder. He was frail and weak. I was crying. My Dad asked me why I was crying and I told him because I didn't know if it was time for me to let Rusty go or not. My father asked me if I had asked Rusty. I told my Dad I asked Rusty to give me a sign. My father shook his head no. He said, "Don't ask for a sign, just ask him if he is ready." As I held Rusty I looked at him and asked, "Are you ready?" Rusty lifted his frail head, looked me in the eyes and in a clear, sharp voice he said, " I'm ready." I held Rusty tightly and told him not to be afraid and that he would be OK. As I cried I continued to walk around the pool with him in my arms. After a few minutes, I looked up and my father was no longer in the pool with me and Rusty was no longer in my arms.
I woke up drenched in my own tears.
My decision to let Rusty go has weighed heavily on me for almost a year. I think this was Rusty and my Dad's way of letting me know to move on and to stop feeling guilty. It brings me comfort to know my Dad is taking care of Rusty.
I've shed so many tears since you left me on November 9th, but today I want to remember those silly little things you did to make me laugh and smile.
So, in honor of you Rusty, I've created the follwing list:
TOP TEN SILLIEST THINGS RUSTY DID TO MAKE ME LAUGH!
10. Rusty insisted on drinking from the toilet. If I did not leave the lid up, he would sit by the toilet and howl until I lifted it up.
9. Rusty learned to open the bottom kitchen cabinets with his paw. One time he opened the cabinet and pulled out a 17lb. bag of dog food by his teeth. The kitchen floor was covered with dog food.
8. Rusty would try to chase every Fed Ex truck that he saw because he knew our Fed EX driver always brought a treat with her when she delivered packages to the house.
7. Rusty's groomer always added $ 5.00 BAD BOY BEHAVIOR CHARGE to his grooming bill. Rusty would continuously bark for six hours while at the groomers. The groomer brought ear plugs with her to work on the days she groomed Rusty. Rusty always voiced his opinion when he was not happy.
6. Rusty peed on an Afghan Hound. One day at the dog park Rusty n0nchalantly lifted his leg and peed on an Afghan Hound that was just groomed. We left the dog park in a hurry.
5. Rusty loved to dig through my laundry basket. One day he pulled my bra out of my laundry basket and dropped it off my balcony. I had to run down stairs and pluck my bra out of my neighbor's tree.
4. Rusty was a very nosy dog. He loved to bury his head in my friends' purses. One day he pulled out a $20.00 bill from my friend's purse and ran in the other room with it.
3. Rusty flunked obedience shcool. On the first day of obedience school Rusty ran out the front door. I never took him back. I guess you could probably tell from this list. BOL
2. Rusty was a shoplifter. One day at Pet Smart, Rusty picked up a pig's ear without me knowing. It wasn't until we were in the car and half way home I realized my dog had a shoplifing problem.
1. Rusty greeted me at the door of his former owner's house with a diaper in his mouth. It was love at first sight.
Rusty, you always reminded me of the class clown. Everyone who met you said you were one of the sweetest dogs they ever met, but also one of the silliest. Thank you for making me smile and laugh for so many years.
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