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Grrrrrrr grrr grr grrrrrrrrrrrrrr

I am so in trouble.

I am in the doghouse bigtime. Except we don't really have a doghouse so I guess that's just an expression. I have never seen my mom and dad so furious with me. See, me and Petie got in an all-out fight and I kicked his butt. Well, really I bit his leg and I bit it bad. Now he is getting all the love and attention and I am getting hate stares. Maybe I was having a bad day because we haven't gone for a run in ages it seems but I just "saw red" as they say and I guess I vented all my frustration, jealousy and boredom on my stupid brother. (He'll live and I bet he'll respect me after this.)
Dad, I'm sorry. I won't do it again! Please don't be mad forever.....

I am not a bitch.

I am not a bitch. I'm just misunderstood.
I can be really sweet when I want to. It's just I don't want to very often.
I am not a bitch. I'm just crabby first thing in the morning.
I'm really not a bitch, if I'm treated right, with respect and all.
I just act bitchy if some dog tries to get up on MY bed. Or my couch.
And don't sniff my butt!
That's MY toy! Give it back!
You gotta be a bitch in life or they walk over you.
I call it assertive.
OK, I'm a bitch. But only because I'm a dog and I'm a girl.
It means a female canine. Not a bad thing.
So why do they always say it like that?
"She is such a bitch." "Cookie, quit being a bitch!"
How am I supposed to do that?!

Unfaithful

My Man cheated on me today. He was out late and came home positively reeking of other dog! What, does he think I'm stupid, that I can't smell that bitch's scent all over him?! How can he do that when I remain loyal only to him? This has been happening more and more frequently but he can't fool the Nose. Sure, he has some lame excuse about stopping to feed a starving mutt or taking a stray female by the doctor to get her spayed. Mr. Rescue! Of course I'm jealous, who wouldn't be?
Okay okay, he might play the field but who's he come home to? Who sleeps next to him on the pillow?
He loves me......