June 20th 2008 4:48 pm
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We were told on Monday that Ginger had Mega-Esophagus, but over the weekend she had not kept any food down, was constantly drooling, and was shaking while she walked. Just 5 days before all this she was running and playing like Ginger, just being herself.
As I opened my eyes this early Wednesday morning, it took me a few seconds to realize that I had fallen asleep sitting up on the kitchen floor resting my back against the kitchen cupboards.
I looked down and then it all came back to me as to why I was waking up like this. Fast asleep was my oldest golden Ginger,
with her head on my lap and my arm around her.
I was afraid I would wake her up but my legs were totally dead asleep and I had to move them but couldn't feel them at that moment.
I needed to remove myself from the kitchen floor and stretch my
legs and body out.
Ginger could barely lift her head up, she was so weak. Ginger has been throwing up, drooling and losing so much weight in such a short time. Watching Ginger deteriorate from a once happy, energetic, funny, loving golden, to this morning, as a lifeless, drooling, can't eat a thing, sad and miserable golden.
The Ginger before me on the floor is not our Ginger.
Ginger this morning is so weak, drooling, coughing, not eating or going to the bathroom,with a sad blank look in her eyes . She has not had anything in her stomach or kept down going on 3 days. I've tried rice, eggs, broth, and this morning, trying to feed her a popcycle.
She couldn't even lick it and what she did lick, it just ran out of her mouth and down to the kitchen floor. She would drink water and no sooner done, she was spitting it up.
It was killing us to watch our once so vibrant golden suffer like this. her paws are dirty from her drooling constantly on herself. It just breaks our heart.
This morning I tried to lift her off my legs and go outside to go potty and she wouldn't move. I called for her again and she couldn't stand up. I went over to help her and her whole body was shaking. She could barely walk to the back door and when I helped her out, she spit up again on the grass. Last night Ron & I talked about Ginger and cried our eyes out together because we don't want to lose her, yet we don't want to see her like this. This isn't the life Ginger would want to have. So we both agreed to see how she was during the night and this morning. I was with Ginger all night, loving her, talking to her and telling her how proud I am of her and thanking her for coming into my life. You could tell she was ready to go. She gave me the look. Ginger is exhausted and I am sure hungry and we can't do anything. I think Ron knew because he saw me in the kitchen with her this morning, my eyes all puffy from crying most of the night and one look at Ginger and you could tell she wasn't getting any better. So Ron left with Ginger about 8:00 a.m to have her put down. I couldn't go. I just couldn't bare it. So now I sit here with my 3 goldens waiting for Ron to call.
I gave a whole bunch of messages to Ginger to give to Brandi when she see's her, and I know Brandi will be there at the bridge waiting for her to cross over to her. To tell my daughter hello and I love her, and to tell Goldie hello and Ron's mom that he loves and misses her.
So to my Ginger,
Thank you my big girl, for giving us 11 wonderful, happy, loving years with you. Thank you for coming into our lives and making us a family. Thank you for raising Brandi and Ally and being the mom they didn't get to have.
You were so wise, so gentle, so beautiful and my heart aches at this moment for you and for what we have just lost,
I made a music video of Ginger about 6 months ago and thought maybe this would be a great time to show it to all. The song is by Barry White, "My everything", and it's about 3 minutes long.Please watch how happy my Ginger was for 11 years.
For all who knew Ginger or knew of her, thank you for loving my girl and making her a part of your lives also.
Run Ginger, Run.
Lanie & gang
September 19th 2006 9:08 am
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It has been a while since mommy let me write in here, but she has been really depressed like myself. My niece brandi went and left us, I have been sad and wondering where she has gone. I miss her so much and I knew she wasn't feeling well but one day mommy and daddy took her away and when they came back, mommy was crying so hard and went to bed for a long time, and daddy he was sad too but had to go to work everyday. Finally mommy got up and left the house and came back telling us that we will have a new brother and sister. I didn't want that but when they came here a few days later, they were pretty cool but were picking on my little sister Ally all the time. I had to keep stepping in and protecting her and mommy had to break up a few fights with all 4 of us at one time. I felt sorry for mommy.
Mommy goes outside alot at 8:15p.m and looks up at the star that is in the sky. it is the only star out there and she tells me it is Brandi, but I don't get it. It doesn't even look like my Niece Brandi.
Brandi if you can hear me, I miss you so much and it isn't the same around here anymore. Please come home soon please
Love your Aunt Ginger
October 27th 2005 9:11 pm
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I am so tired my sister Brandi is getting all the attention because she doesn't feel good. Why does she gets treats and special treatments for being sick with Cancer. Here I am, the oldest of those two and haven't been to the doctors since my hematoma back in 1998. I never get sick (oh knock on wood) and I am quiet and don't start any fights and even play good with my brother Chance. Chance is a piggy. But I never get a special treat or treatments for being good and never sick. So that is why I am writing in here. I want mommy to read this and realize she isn't loving me like she used to before Brandi got sick and I have wounded feelings. Maybe when she see's this, she will hug me more and all.
I have to go to bed now but feel better that I wrote this and got it off my dog mind of mine.