Still missing you...

My little Schitzo,

I still miss you so much. I thought grief was supposed to lessen over time, but it hasn't. I stay away from Dogster because I can't not look at your page and when I do I just cry and cry. I miss you so much. Beautiful Miss Bella Paige is staying with us for a week and I just think about how much you would have loved that. You would have followed her around everywhere and tried to hump her LOL! When the goof girls stayed here, again all I could think about was how much fun you would have had with them and what a shame that you didn't get to meet your dogster belles :) My sweet angel, you made everything bad in my life easier to bear and the world is a harsher place without you in it.

Tribute to Schitzo from Coco Bean and Aunt Terry

Goodbye old friend... until we meet again (Schitzo)

What to say... how best to say it... The words don't seem to want to come although the tears do. You were a miracle pup. A tiny little warrior who cared for his family above all others, who gave love and especially kisses to all who entered your life. You were with Aunt Marie so long, her constant through so many storms. But we must soldier on, in your example, and we must pay tribute to you... our good friend and cousin-pup.

We have all experienced loss in our lives but for the first time, it has really hit home (at least in our house). We got to meet you and although we didn't see you in your heyday, we heard stories about how you could hold your own, and often did better than any tzu should. That twinkle of the old Schitzo still shined through. You still had it buddy.

When we met you, Aunt Marie said you weighed 7 lbs. You were frail and could barely see and when momma held you, just for a bit cause she was scared to hurt you, you gave her a lick on her nose. Aunt Marie warned that you were a kisser and momma did love you for that, but most of all, she loved you for being you. A brave little warrior and constant in your momma's life (I hope I can be as strong for mine). She couldn't believe how tall you were and how proudly you walked around, you walked like a dancer... so light on your feet.

You were very front heavy at the time so Aunt Marie had placed all your food dishes high, and your water dishes were tall glasses filled to the top so you didn't have to stoop and perhaps fall forward. It's true that sometimes you lifted off your back legs a bit but you always found earth. You were super fast too... How many of us hasn't seen that video of Aunt Marie giving you a bath? If you could see you would have been out of there like a shot! Those doggie gates were the only thing keeping you from taking a tumble down the stairs but you seemed to still try. Momma remembers how teeny you seemed, next to Chloe who looked like a little line-backer... that's what momma started calling her, that very trip. I must have been the Hulk. ;-)

You were the main man in Aunt Marie's life for so long that she looked to you to give Uncle Chris the green light. And you did! You had a way of opening your momma's heart to the possibility that she could love and be loved again, that she could trust someone with her heart. In the end they honored you and still do, every day, by missing your wet little kisses, your warm gentle cuddles, your super soft fur. They talk often about what you meant to them and they cry.

They told us about how in your last few days, you had a stroke and your kidneys were failing. You weighed only 4 lbs. when Aunt Marie took you to the Vet that day (your Dr. A). Dr. A was the one and only vet you had ever had. The man who thought you were a miracle and had been surprised time and time again. Treatment meant leaving you there alone overnight and there were no guarantees. Of course, your heart might not be able to stand the treatment and your stroke also left doubts. Aunt Marie asked the hard question, "Were you in pain?" Dr. A said you didn't feel good and your mom could tell the end was near. Could they live with leaving you there and perhaps losing you when they weren't there to hold you and make sure you had not suffered? The answer was no. So they made a really hard decision... to set you free from the pain. To hold you in your final moments. To kiss you and tell you how much you were loved. Many of the staff came in to say goodbye and cried along with Marie and Chris. You had always amazed them each time they told Marie they had their doubts, you surprised them but this was different. They said goodbye to the earthly Schitzo and sent you on your way to the Rainbow Bridge. You got to breathe your last breath in your momma's arms and you finally seemed at peace.

You are now at the Rainbow Bridge and we know our sister Molly is so happy to meet you and you two will make great friends... Make sure to chase her, she really liked that and when it's your turn she will turn around and chase you right back... I taught her that. Please say hello to our cousins Chiro and Gizmo, tell them Auntie Kim misses them bunches but that she knows they are watching over her. Make sure to meet all those cute little angel pups we have gotten to know here at Dogster. Like Angel Chloe, Gracie and Molly's sissy, I bet she is a looker... WHOO HOO! Or Angel Glen, Bud and Zeke's big brother, who Aunt Sally rescued from those crazy people. But most of all, just romp and run and play like you did in the younger-Schitzo days. Be a pest and maybe a bit naughty cause everyone loves you at the Rainbow Bridge and big dogs don't really mind us riding around on their tails. ;-) --- Coco Bean

(Momma Terry writing now...) This entry was extremely difficult for me to write. And I am sure that I have not done justice to this gentle little soul, but he has left an imprint (or pawprint) on my heart and on many others I am sure. This group never ceases to amaze me. The outpouring of love and kindness for Schitzo and his family make my heart swell with love and appreciation of what we have here... a group that is held together by our common love for our furry companions (or furkids --- a source of unconditional love). Thank you all for your prayers for Schitzo and his mom and dad, I am sure that the cards, flowers, pmails, and rosettes have meant the world to Marie and Chris.

A little box

I was doing so well up until today. I went to the vet to pick you up and they handed me a beautiful little wooden box with a little gold clasp, lock and key on it. I got in my car and laid that little box gently on the seat next to me and started to drive off. I realized that I had my left hand on the steering wheel and my right hand on your box-just like I did when it was your furry little warm body sitting in that seat. I would always keep a hand on you while I drove. That undid me and I pulled right back into the parking lot and felt my heart breaking again. I held onto your little box and the weight of it on my lap reminded me of the weight of you on my lap and oh how much I miss you. I miss your little Schitzo kisses and that cute little black nose. I miss your beautiful silky soft fur. I received a condolence card from the vet with a lock of your hair and I just touch it and cry. I feel like I will never stop weeping from the loss. I miss you sleeping next to me at night, curled up in a tight little ball against my stomach under the covers when it was cold. I miss kissing you on top of your head and I miss your cute little howl when I play the trumpet. I miss you stealing all my kleenex from under the pillow and hiding it under the bed and ripping it to shreds. I miss watching you shake yourself, starting at your head and traveling all the way down to your tail. I miss your excitement when I would come home after being away from the house, and watching you run around in circles even though you couldn't see-and having people ask me if you were a puppy :) I miss your love, and your trust and your comfort. I miss you following me into the bathroom. I miss all the silly things that you did when you were younger too-like barking at the rubber ducky while I was taking a bath! I miss how I always knew when you went outside to poop, because when you came back in you ran figure eights in the living room faster than anything. I miss how you would always put your food on the carpet before you ate it, and I miss stepping on a piece of your food that you didn't eat while walking to the coffee pot in the morning. I miss you stealing my underwear when I missed the laundry basket, and finding out you ate my favorite pair when I picked up your lawn pickles and saw a familiar floral print in it. I miss you stealing the empty toilet paper rolls and tearing them to shreds. I miss taking you to Petsmart and having you always be the center of attention, as you picked out your squeaky toy and walked to the cashier with it. I miss having you sit in the room while I gave trumpet lessons and how all my students knew they were playing really well when you would start singing along with that cute little howl. It took two years for little Eric to get you to howl, and I've never seen him so excited as that day when you gave him the Schitzo howl of approval! I miss how when I was sad you would know, and would lick my tears away and cuddle up close to me. You were my comfort for so many years and now you aren't here to lick away my tears, and cuddle up to me and make me feel better just by being with me. I miss you so much Schitzo-my heart is broken without you and you've taken a huge piece of it with you. I love you my little guy.

Devotion

Unconditionally your friend, your child, your comforter,
....your defender, always your puppy....
You are their life, their love, their safe haven, their leader.
They will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of their heart.
You owe it to them to be worthy of such devotion

found on rescue site: lhasahappyhomes.org

Saying good bye to my best friend

I keep looking for you, watching where I step so that I don't squish you-and then I realize that you are gone. And my heart breaks and I sob-soul wrenching sobs that feel like seizures that will never stop. I rolled over in bed slowly so that I didn't roll over on you, and realized that you weren't laying on the bed. And I sobbed. Chris and I sat in bed last night and carefully set the bags down where you couldn't reach them, and we realized you weren't there to steal our food. And we both sobbed. You are everywhere I look and you are always the first thought in my head and now I don't know what to do with myself. Your bowl of food and glass of water are still sitting in their spot on top of the bricks so that you don't have to bend down to eat or drink. Your bed is there and I had to touch it and laid my head on it and sobbed.

Letting you go was the hardest thing that I've ever done. I made a promise to you when you first got sick three years ago that I wouldn't keep you here in pain and I kept my promise. Dr. Agostini said that we could leave you at the hospital for two days with intraveneous liquids to try to get your kidneys working again, but your heart might not survive the process and even if by some miracle your kidneys started functioning again, the damage that you had from the stroke most likely would not be helped. You laid in my arms with your head against my cheek and you trusted me to do what is best for you. I couldn't let down your trust and leave you to die by yourself in a cage. You couldn't stand or even sit up by yourself and I knew that it wasn't about me-it was about what's best for you. I gave you the greatest gift that I could by letting Dr. A send you peacefully to the bridge while you lay in my arms. Chris and I took turns holding you and loving you and telling you how much we loved you and thanking you for your love. Terry-Lucy the Bassett Hound's mom-was working there yesterday and she came in and kissed you and told you how much she loved you and sat next to me and sobbed with me. You didn't even flinch when the needle went in your leg, and you simply laid your head back against me and went to sleep and your little body grew still in my arms. The rain started falling as we drove back home and I thought that the earth was crying at the loss. I prayed and pray to God to please take good care of Schitzo. I love him so much and he is such a good dog. I thank God for letting me have Schitzo in my life for so long-he is such a precious gift.

Marie

The Bridge.

It is with a heavy, heavy heart that I make my first entry into Schitzo's diary. Today Schitzo found his way to the rainbow bridge. After fighting and beating the odds for over three years time has finally claimed our little miracle dog. At about 7 PM this evening Schitzo traveled over the bridge and was at peace for the first time in over a week. He had suffered a stroke and his kidneys finally gave up. After considering all the options Schitzo's Mom and Dad had to decide to let him run the bridge and be free of all the needles and tests and just not feeling good. (Although Schitzo did enjoy peeing on the Dr.'s floor!) Schitzo went to the bridge very peacefully, he was ready to see his friends of old and Grandpa and Great Grandma. Thank you for all your prayers and support. Schitzo's Mom will write again when she is feeling up to it.

Schitzo's Dad.

Please say a little prayer for me

Today I am definitely feeling my age :( Momma is very worried about me-she knows I'm not in pain but I haven't eaten much in the last couple of days and I can't afford to lose any more weight-I'm underweight as it is! Momma just snorted at that and said something about wishing she could give me some off of her butt?! Silly mom... All that she wants is for me to not be in pain and to just gently go to the rainbow bridge in my sleep when it's time. I've been with her for all the really rough spots: the divorce, her grandmother passing away and her father passing away. She is so afraid that my time with her is over because I got her through the worst of it and now my pops is there to take care of her. She's leaking all over the keyboard so we'll keep this short. Just say a little prayer ok?

We love you all!

Schitzo and Momma Marie

Sweet Sixteen!

It's my birthday today and I'm SIXTEEN YEARS OLD!!!! Woo Hoo!

Not too shabby considering the vet said I wouldn't last the year...ohh about three years ago! Momma should have asked him what year he was referring to BOL!!!

Thank you everypup for all the pawsome birthday wishes and pawresents!

Schitzo-sweet sixteen and never been kissed....less than a hundred times a day by my momma!! BOL!!!

:)

Life is good!

Good morning pupsters!

Life is good! Why is it so good you ask? Well for one, I slept on the bed cuddled up with the pawrents last night-woo woo! I haven't been able to sleep with them for a while now, since my eyesight has gotten worse, because I could not get up there by myself but also because I would just leap off-even though I couldn't see where I was leaping to BOL! But last night, Dad took the bed apart and just laid the mattress directly on the floor-it was heaven! I got to sleep under the covers all cuddled up with the pawrents all night and it was pure heaven. Mom even said that she slept better last night than she has in a long time :)

Another reason life is good is that mom has been in school full time since the beginning of January! Why is this good you ask? Because 1. she is not a total stress case anymore since she quit her job and 2. she spends a lot more time with ME! The only bad side to all this is that we have not been able to spend much time here and we miss our Dogster friends and all of our STAFU friends especially!!! It's because of something mom has called "homework". I don't know what it is but I'm glad that I don't have any BOL!

I love you all and mom and I may not spend much time here anymore but you are always in our thoughts!

Schitzo and Momma Marie :)

A perfect Sunday morning

Boy has life changed for the better in the last month! Mom has been busy busy busy revamping the whole house and recovering from the insanity that has been her life for the last five years. All I know is I get so much snuggling and hugs every day that I am in seventh heaven! This morning for example: mom woke up around 6:00 a.m. and I groggily opened one eye to look at her. She picked me up in her arms and crawled back into bed with me in the middle of the 'rents with both of them curled around me and the blankets on top of all three of us. Heaven! I'm not allowed to get on the bed anymore because when I want to get down I just blindly leap off-even though I really can't see much anymore. They don't like that for some reason... Anyway, we were all cuddled up and snug as little bugs in rugs-I love my life!

Schitzo :)