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Finally, some time at the computer!

Home Depot is NOT very Poodle Friendly

There's nothing like the weekend - picking up the Sunday New York Times - grabbing a second cup of mocha latte low foam, no fat, half splenda, half equal grande. Taking in the news programs with the folks. Usually one of the weekends spent in political bliss will involve a trip to the Home Depot. While no one in this house boasts any handman skills, it's amazing how many times we end up there just walking the aisles - taking in the all the testosterone and miles of light bulbs.

We'll if you're ever with us you'd know that these trips usually end up with the humans splitting up into different areas and one of them usually pulls a hissy fit because the help in this place is totally lame. This week, I figured I would leave them to their own devices (they're good for at least a half hour in this place before someone gets into an argument) and headed to the clean restroom armed with my times and the need for a little bit of privacy. When I entered the men's room, I lucked out. The handicap stall was available and it appeared the light was fantastic for reading. I jumped up on the seat and settled into "The Style Section" before I read Frank Rich's column when I noticed that I felt slightly paralyzed. I attempted to reposition myself and that's when it came to my attention that I couldn't move. Some moron thought it would be funny to put crazy glue all over the seat of the toilet!

Ok, I know...it's funny. Here's what really sucks - it happened two days after some guy went on The Today Show telling his tale of being stuck on a toilet bowl in his local Home Depot. Great, I have a copy- cat prankster and I'm the literal butt of the joke. I had to two options...either howl my ass off or chew on my butt until the glue releases. Either way, I had to surrender my Times onto the filthy floor to save some dignity. It's times like these that I would have really appreciated being fixed - if you know what I mean? The position I had to assume forced my little "tea bags" into a very cold water. They were the size of skittles by the time I gnawed myself to safety. Exiting the restroom and having a booty that looks like it was hit by an out of control weedwacker - I quickly find my peeps. The were found in the plumming section debating fixtures for the shower. At this point I had the attention span of a flea on ambien soI headed back to the car to sulk.

Well..We're back from the Home Depot and now I have to get off the computer so I can put some PrepH on my rump. I don't even want to think what it must feel like to have your anal glands expressed - 'cause sticking this gook up my ooney ain't no picnic.

Home Depot is NOT very Poodle Friendly

There's nothing like the weekend - picking up the Sunday New York Times - grabbing a second cup of mocha latte low foam, no fat, half splenda, half equal grande. Taking in the news programs with the folks. Usually one of the weekends spent in political bliss will involve a trip to the Home Depot. While no one in this house boasts any handman skills, it's amazing how many times we end up there just walking the aisles - taking in the all the testosterone and miles of light bulbs.

We'll if you're ever with us you'd know that these trips usually end up with the humans splitting up into different areas and one of them usually pulls a hissy fit because the help in this place is totally lame. This week, I figured I would leave them to their own devices (they're good for at least a half hour in this place before someone gets into an argument) and headed to the clean restroom armed with my times and the need for a little bit of privacy. When I entered the men's room, I lucked out. The handicap stall was available and it appeared the light was fantastic for reading. I jumped up on the seat and settled into "The Style Section" before I read Frank Rich's column when I noticed that I felt slightly paralyzed. I attempted to reposition myself and that's when it came to my attention that I couldn't move. Some moron thought it would be funny to put crazy glue all over the seat of the toilet!

Ok, I know...it's funny. Here's what really sucks - it happened two days after some guy went on The Today Show telling his tale of being stuck on a toilet bowl in his local Home Depot. Great, I have a copy- cat prankster and I'm the literal butt of the joke. I had to two options...either howl my ass off or chew on my butt until the glue releases. Either way, I had to surrender my Times onto the filthy floor to save some dignity. It's times like these that I would have really appreciated being fixed - if you know what I mean? The position I had to assume forced my little "tea bags" into a very cold water. They were the size of skittles by the time I gnawed myself to safety. Exiting the restroom and having a booty that looks like it was hit by an out of control weedwacker - I quickly find my peeps. The were found in the plumming section debating fixtures for the shower. At this point I had the attention span of a flea on ambien soI headed back to the car to sulk.

Well..We're back from the Home Depot and now I have to get off the computer so I can put some PrepH on my rump. I don't even want to think what it must feel like to have your anal glands expressed - 'cause sticking this gook up my ooney ain't no picnic.

NYC Marathon

After months of working out....timing my progress on the treadmill...attempting to do the elliptical was not an easy task for those who depend on all fours to walk! There was only one thing I was looking forward to as November 5th came around.....CARBO LOADING!!

Penne, Rigatoni, Macaroni, Angel Hair - I had serious dreams of all that wonderful food!! I even scored a floorplan of the Pasta Tent at Tavern on The Green so that I wouldn't miss a pasta station. I was told that last year the Pesto was to die for so you know I was jonesing for some of dat! I had to get up in some dudes grill when he reached for my linguini. While Eddie and Al were busy checking out the well lit trees of the restaurant - I had a decent grip on my chinette and was fully prepared with a vinyl napkin worn as a lanyard. After a few hours, Al & Eddie finally found me among my people - telling me stories of the crazy squirrels that hang in the park that were smokin' some peanut shells. I could care less, I was coming off of a pasta high. I was fully prepared to face the next day and put all of my training on the line. Al & Eddie insisted they join me - so we all shared a registration number. Like we had the scratch to afford two more entries - I don't think so! I thought it was all over for us before the marathon began. Al has a thing against heights so when he found out that we had to start the race going over the Verrazano - he boofed all over this poor womans asics! It was a golden moment for the cute one!

Finally, we heard the gun shot and we were off. Eddie was a bit disturbed by the gun and swore up and down that P.Diddy was running again in the marathon. I had to remind him that he dropped the P a few months ago. We made it through Brooklyn without a hitch but we were slowed down a little when Eddie saw a guy selling imposter Prada headbands. He was able to talk him into getting a 2 for one deal. Al wanted a Jacob & Co Iced Out Watch but we only had enough money for two mocha lattes at Starbucks. I swear, Al & Eddie love those sidewalk dudes.

Someone needs to remind those people who line the streets with cups of water that we can't REACH!! Ohh...and holding a bottle out doesn't do us much good as well. Finally, someone dropped an open bottle and we were able to grab a little H2O. Eddie was upset since someone wet his headband but it didn't matter to Al - he took a bath in our well. After that display - the water had little appeal for me.

We finally made our way out of Queens - that was a tough place. Someone made fun of Eddie so he showed them his middle toe. Not a good thing to do! That little move on his part gave us the incentive to move a little bit faster.

We were down to the home stretch in Manhattan and the crowds went wild. After stopping for a quick coffee and bite of a bagel we ended up on way into the park and past the ribbon ( we bounced when we hit that ribbon - note to ribbon people - we're SHORT and don't need to be clotheslined at the end of a 26 mile marathon-it SMARTS! )

Now we're home and exfoliating the pads of our paws with some shea butter. The run was fun but I'll forever dream of Ronzoni for the rest of my life.

May your day be like the perfect ziti noodle....

Long and Delicious!!

Norm