November 6th 2008 8:42 am
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I think I've gained 5 lbs since the announcement of Sarah Palin as the Republican VP Candidate. While I've always considered myself a bi- partisan poodle - that ended the day her bad bangs and Keith Olberman eyeglasses walked out on stage at The Republican National Convention.
This woman shoots animals from helicopters ....Dick Chenney peppers his best friend with bullets while Quale hunting in a fenced in Quale farm that was stocked for the hunt!!! That's not hunting, call it what it really is...MURDER! Can I get a whoop whoop and a yeah!
What the HELL gives with these Republicans??? They entire party is one white hot mess! What the hell is up with those people in Alaska...you vote in a Felon for the senate and you have Sarah Palin as govenor - are you a bunch of masochists? Maybe Obama's first order as a President , he should look into the educational standards in Alaska. I'm a poodle and I can even name a few newspapers that I take a crap on!
Don't even get me started on "The Straight Talk Express" and his zombie wife. It wasn't the Economy that brought you down to your knees. It was the crappy attack ads - even I ...a poodle...was embarrassed at the depths he went to associate Obama with terrorists. It's disgusting, just blogging about it makes me want to go for another grooming.
Well, I don't know if I'll be able to stomach The View after this election. But I'll always have Keith and Rachael!
" Yes, We Did"
April 16th 2006 10:58 pm
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I have waited for this day for so many months - I couldn't barely sleep last night. I've only heard about this big bunny that visits in the middle of the night leaving baskets of yummy treats and hidden easter eggs all over the lawn. While I've never quite experienced this so called celebrity - I've heard this holiday is like Halloween without the begging!
Well, I struggled to get to sleep so that I could be surprised by the overflowing baskets and wonderful treats waiting for us all over the lawn. Finally, morning came and I was the first out the door in search of goodies. What a crock! There wasn't any frothy basket of candy waiting for us! The only treats I found on the lawn were gifts that came from my brothers butts! Nothing...zippo...total zero! Man - I can't tell you how rooked I feel at this very moment. Only to add insult to injury - Eddie had a raging case of diarrhea which made romping through the back yard quite hazardous.
We thought we were going to have a great time this week with two holidays within days of each other. Man, were we wrong.
Now I'm going to sulk and take out my disappointment on a anti Anne Coulter blog site.
November 28th 2005 10:59 am
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We have now come upon the time of year where we get together with our friends and family to share thanks for all the gifts we've received throughout the year.
OK, let's get real - Thanksgiving is our favorite holiday since it's all about the food. We're big turkey buff's and love sausage stuffing even if it's not on Dr. Weil's list of healthy eating. The house is filled with tons of yummy smells and when everyone sits down at the table - that's when our strategies come into play. We're not going to reveal these moves here but just know, this year should yield us quite a bounty.
We were hanging out in Rikers and discussing Thanksgiving, of course that was after we had our begging strategies worked out realizing there's an entire story of Thanksgiving that should be told. Sure, everyone does a blessing but do they ever explain how this holiday came to be? This is something we're gonna attempt but done twelve paws style.
(please see picture: Norm at Plymouth Rock)
It all started with the pilgrims landing on Plymouth Rock. Here we have Norm illustrating how he marked Plymouth Rock. (which we know is wrong) Eddie was looking for the perfect wig for this photo but wasn't sure what sort of hairstyle was popular back when the Mayflower set sail?
(please see picture: Ed at Plymouth Rock)
OK, so the little freak found a wig and oversized Roberto Cavalli Beaver Hat. No, he couldn't just let it go with one photo of Norm - he had to pose in front of the sacred rock. At least he didn't kiss the rock after Norm decided to fertilize it.
Eddie was asked his thoughts on the story of Thanksgiving for which he had a totally different take. To quote Eddie, " The Pilgrim's voyage over to "The Rock" was a luxurious repositioning cruise which was blown off course by the tsunami that put Gilligan on that tropical island. Luckily, they had a sumptuous Turkey Dinner when they arrived in port. Due to the unexplored nature of "The Rock" Captain Stuben was forced to tender the ship while Doc and Gopher explored the rocky terrain. Luckily, they found a wonderful Indian Casino and convinced the sous chef of Michael Jordan's Steak House Restaurant to bring forth some yummy home made cranberry sauce, a Texas hold 'em play board and some cartons of tax free cigarettes to the feast. Upon their arrival, Isaac mixed a special drink in their honor and Julie, the cruise director, had all the guests make construction paper Indian headbands in honor of the celebration. After giving thanks for The Princess Cruise Line and taking in "The Charo on Ice Show" on the Lido deck - everyone climbed onto a tender and attended a crazy tea dance at The Boatslip in Provincetown. That's really where the Pilgrims landed. After returning from shore - we all indulged in the midnight chocolate buffet which was to die for leaving everyone happy and satisfied before they returned to their stateroom. The next day the tender left for shore at 5 am so we could all take in those great sales at Wal-Mart!
(Please see picture: Love Boat)
Poor Al, he had a different take on Thanksgiving. He was told if you really want to learn the true meaning of Thanksgiving - you have to go to The Thanksgiving Parade down in NYC. Sure enough, all he did was run into freaks with scary haircuts wanting to reshape his tail into a turkey leg. Here's a picture of Al running into Boy George and Jimmy Neutron on 42nd Street. Al will not tell anyone what Boy George said to him but it somehow involved a car battery, nipple clamps and Rose O'Donnell's underwear! Unfortunately, this experience has made Al rethink his appreciation for this holiday. Eddie faired much better as he hung out with Kermit and Jay Leno. As you can see Eddie donated a tuft of his hair to Jay for his signature skunk look.
(Please see: BoyGeorgeAL Picture)
(Please see: JayLeno Eddie Picture)
(Please see: Matt Lauer Norman Picture)
Norm decided to skip the New York City Thanksgiving Day Parade instead stowing away with Matt Lauer to Rome where they posed for the typical tourist picture. Norm wasn't thrilled that Matt decided to go for a "taco bell" run prior to taking this picture. To give you an example of the pollution that was spewing from Matt's khaki's- Norm originally had on a white polo shirt. Being a total professional Norm attempted to smile as the picture was being taken but then ran off to spew at the base of the tower where he found many empty pizza boxes. What's up with that?
Eddie on the other hand got so much into the celebration of Thanksgiving that he decided to "be the turkey". He started hitting the sauce early on the holiday - and those Oprah pomegranate Martini's went down smooth. He topped it off with Rachel Ray's 5 minute fudge and in no time he was wearing "The Zorn's Turkey" around the house. Here's a pic of him taken at sunrise - showing off his fondness for inside of a turkey carcass. He shouted inside of the turkey, "I'm not a Turducken - I'm a Turkey Poo!"
(Please see: Ed's head in a Turkey over at Eddie's home page)
This concludes The Twelve Paws Ode to Thanksgiving - hope ya learned something?
Wishing Everyone a Happy Thanksgiving!!!
(Please see: Ma Ya Ha Dudes Picture)
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