The Rain will not BITE!

Dammit dog, you haven't pooped in two days.
PLEASE, I'm getting tired of your mopey looks.

The rain will not make you melt.
It won't bite or burn you. I promise.

Gahhhhhhh.

Please stop looking at me like that.
Believe me, I can't turn off the rain.

You'll just have to wait until it stops.

And in the meantime, if your stinky farts don't kill us, we will too.

Intimacy

I've realized that Monte and I share a life of our own. A life filled with little winks, inside jokes, and subtle forms of communication usually reserved for married folks who no longer feel the need to use words to communicate because every gesture, glance, or grunt contains years of memories and meanings.

I realized this when he shot me a look that said "Did you see that rude lady?" as we paused at a stoplight a couple of months ago. We made eye contact. He snorted and then looked out the car window at her again. Then light changed to green, so we went back to our own thoughts.

The woman was berating her child on a street corner, so it wasn't surprising to me that he viewed her actions as rude. He has impeccable manners (as I'm sure you know by now). It just felt strange that he wanted me to know and to share that moment with me.

Is this intimacy?

I wonder.

Monte is "Wintering" with my parents in San Diego at the moment. So lacking these shared moments has created an emptiness in my heart and in my life. I especially feel the lack of his gaze as I cook in the evening. Usually he sits a little behind me in the kitchen. I let him smell the various veggies going into the dishes, as I know he won't eat them.

It is funny to hear the snort of disappointment after smelling the 'people food' ingredients. Yes, it is the same snort Monte gave the rude woman on the street corner. Disapproving, disappointed, frustrated, however you'd chose to name it, the emotion is very clear: "Why on God's green earth would you do that????".

It is now clear to me that our communication has become a dialogue. Somewhere between us there is a language as detailed and complete as the language shared between an 80 year old couple. Grumpy at times, yes, but it is as respectful as any relationship that is... forever.

Gosh, I miss my boy.

Crossing the bridge & soothing troubled waters - The One O' Eight.

A week ago we were commuting 3 hours a day.

The SF Bay Bridge had suffered a monumental injury requiring a week of repairs, so our commute from SF to Berkeley went from 15 minutes to 90. ( Bridge Info )

It was an eye opening experience, to say the least.

Our day began with the issue of convincing the bus driver that they LEGALLY must let Monte on, regardless of his breed, if he is wearing a muzzle. Some bus drivers glared "Just WHAT do you think you're bringing onto MY bus?", some pretended he didn't exist ("If I don't acknowledge the dog he doesn't exist, right?"), and some tried to be intimidating "That's a service dog, right?" as if we had no rights under the law.

Mama always said "Just act like you know what you are doing and no one will question that you don't."

She'd never met SF Bus drivers, especially those driving the 108!

But that was just the beginning.

After the bus, there was the gauntlet from the station to BART. Weaving in and out of suited pedestrians to rush down a flight of stairs to meet our train, we ignored the wide eyed stares and boldly 'minded the gap' by leaping onto the train.

Yep, we have "arrived". Protect yourselves people, the Montebeast is on board.

Oops...we just ran into the Librarian who directs the Paws to Read program. She knows Monte. Damn, now everyone on the whole train KNOWS he is a sweetie.

Oops...that little kid who grabbed Monte's face to sneak a kiss, before his Mom or I could stop him, answered the crowd's questions. Yup, he is safe beyond safe.

Oops...that 300lb Black guy who looks like he could be a Raider's linebacker is now talking "baby talk" to the beastie.

Sigh.

Monte. For one moment couldn't you PLEASE be a badass?

No, that 's not his style.

As I was watching the 55 ish metal worker gush, the single mom who was on the bus at 7am and at 10pm with her 4 year old in tow, the obese boy with a love for Pit Bulls, and the dreadlocked woman peaking at my beast, I realized how much THESE people needed a Therapy Dog.

He was the light of their day, that boy of mine.

The tentative scratches and creeping fingers said it all.

You should have been there! Every bus and every train should have a dog like mine. It was a great experience to see how he turned a miserable 90 minutes into a love festival.

So for 3 hours a day he was where he wanted to be...right in the middle of it all. And he was a good boy.

Katrina Revisited

Please read this diary for a painful description of why you should microchip and spay/neuter your dog.

How Monte got Here from There

It was going so well, until that little boy noticed Monte's- junk.

Last year I posted this description of our trip to a local school:

Dogster Diary

I honestly was expecting a bit of the same treatment. I mean this was Orinda, CA after all! (For those that don't know, Orinda is a Stepford-esk, Volvo drivin', tofu eatin', private schoolin' community in N.Calif.)

This experience was different from last year. The adults just stood back and watched Monte do his thing. Yay!

Yes, some of them did have their jaws agape, watching Monte obviously enjoy being mauled by 17 energetic eight-year-olds. The adults' eyes darted back and forth between looking at me and Monte. "Is he OK with this?" their eyes begged as the kids hungrily scratched, pet, kissed, and explored Monte.

"Yep." I could have responded. "He LOVES this stuff. He thinks this is a party FOR him."

One adult mentioned "Don't "they" normally use Goldens for this kind of work?!!!" I giggled to myself. Yah, a Golden would have lost their cool 20 minutes ago when the kids decided to Pig Pile the dog. Poor Monte just laughed through the whole adventure.

So everything was going great...

We'd had four groups of students in the K-6 program through the Summertime Reading event. The librarian spent 10-20 minutes explaining the Orinda Library programs for young readers and how to join, then turned to me to introduce Monte, one of the dogs in the Paws to Read Program.

I described that Monte was rescued during the Katrina Hurricane and he had graduated from school to become a therapy dog. Then I offered to demonstrate his tricks. The tricks went over a little too well!

We were inundated with children wanting to tell Monte to "Wave", "Turn Around", "Crawl", "Roll Over", "Back Up", etc. YaaaaHoooo...we've got some dog trainers in the house!!!! I only wished I had more time, and more cheese!

So, it was all going great until one of the little boys noticed Monte's junk.

I could see him focus on it, freezing. He began to point, then he pulled his finger back. In an emotion, across between horror and admiration, this little pervert drew everyone's attention to Monte's junk.

This little 8 year old boy proceeded to flip over on his back, in the middle of the library. He then slid across the carpet on his back, like a car mechanic, until his face was directly below Monte's junk.

I looked at the adults, still standing with their jaws agape.

They were to be no help.

I looked at Monte. "How are you holding up buddy?" He looked back at me. "Have you noticed the weird kid looking at my privates?"

Um...yes.

Reaching down I pulled the little "pervert in the making" out from under my dog.

Now, I want to be clear that this is not the first time Monte's junk has been noticed. (It is too big not to notice. ) Usually it is women who make a comment, surprisingly. Maybe men are too intimidated to comment?

Whatever the reason, Monte's junk has a life of its own and, as a result, many admirers.

I'm not one.

Monte's junk tends to confuse the issues.

Why don't we just stick to the topic for today?

"So, have you read a good book recently?"

Spring has SPRUNG!

Every year I forget.

I forget what Spring is like for THE Monte.

Oh, the smells we shall smell!
Oh, a hunting we shall go!
Oh, small beasties, Ye have been warned!

The Monte'Man is in town.
Beasties, birds, and babies (Yikes) beware!

Spring is about hunting.
It is about tasty treats hidden in dens, be they big or small.
It is about the possibilities of being fast enough, smart enough, cunning enough, to catch something. (Dream on Monte!)
It is about rustling through tall grass.

Sticking his nose into a ground hog's den.

Woof, is there anyone home?

Maybe not?

Monte in Springtime is "HOPE springs ETERNAL".

He is filled with hope that *THIS YEAR*, he'll actually catch one!

So, far no such luck.

But, Monte, there is always next year!

Sweet love - the things this boy puts up with...

On a surprisingly warm day in the middle of winter, a woman and her sister were on a mission...how do they get her suspicious dog into the new vehicle?

The answer: cheese.

Yes, I'll admit, I'm crazy. I've jumped out of planes, dived deeper than others care to go, and rode harder and faster on horses that were, ummm, 'green'. So you understand? Right?

I'm an adventure racer. I like being dropped into the middle of nowhere and being told to get to 'somewhere'. FUN stuff!

So, between my job, my Military life, and loving my dog to death, is a need to train for the next adventure. I bike between 60-80 miles a week, run 15, and swim 3 miles a week. Monte is no help to any of this. He prefers a gentle social venture vs a run, so each day that I cater to my dog is a day of training lost, forever.

What's a gal to do?

Solution: a bike cart and a 65lb beast as resistance training for my morning bike ride to work.

Monte thinks his cart is the greatest thing, EVAHHH! The neighbors think I'm crazy. Luckily, I'm at an age where I don't care about what the neighbors think.

So, Monte has become a part of my training regimen, poor boy.

The things he does for love...and cheese. He'll do 'anything' for an aged cheddar...

"I'm too sexy." says male (dog) model

Check out Paco Collars ! Monte is a model for their Dog section! (If you scroll over the index, he pops up under the Large dog section.)

Monte would now like for you to sing to him:
I'm Too Sexy, by Right Said Fred
I'm too sexy for my love too sexy for my love
Love's going to leave me

I'm too sexy for my shirt too sexy for my shirt, so sexy it hurts
And I'm too sexy for Milan too sexy for Milan, New York, and Japan

And I'm too sexy for your party, too sexy for your party
No way I'm disco dancing

I'm a model you know what I mean
And I do my little turn on the catwalk
Yeah on the catwalk on the catwalk yeah
I do my little turn on the catwalk

I'm too sexy for my car too sexy for my car, too sexy by far
And I'm too sexy for my hat
Too sexy for my hat what do you think about that

I'm a model you know what I mean
And I do my little turn on the catwalk
Yeah on the catwalk on the catwalk yeah
I shake my little tooshee on the catwalk

I'm too sexy for my, too sexy for my, too sexy for my...

'Cos I'm a model you know what I mean
And I do my little turn on the catwalk
Yeah on the catwalk on the catwalk yeah
I shake my little tooshie on the catwalk

I'm too sexy for my cat too sexy for my cat, poor pussy poor pussy cat
I'm too sexy for my love too sexy for my love, love's going to leave me

And I'm too sexy for this song

I've grown accustom to HIS face...

I've Grown Accustomed To Her Face

Words and Music by Alan Jay Lerner and Frederick Loewe from the Broadway musical "My Fair Lady"

# 70 hit for Rosemary Clooney (as "…YOUR Face") in 1956

I've grown accustomed to your face
It almost makes the day begin
I've grown accustomed to the tune you whistle night and noon
Your smiles, your frowns, the ups, the downs
Are second nature to me now
Like breathing out and breathing in
I was serenely independent and content before we met
Surely I could always be that way again and yet
I've grown accustomed to your looks, accustomed to your voice
Accustomed to your face

I'm very grateful >>>>> and so easy to forget
Rather like a habit one can always break and yet
I've grown accustomed to the trace of something in the air
Accustomed to your face


I sooooo understand these lyrics now...

What would I do without him?

It's my Birthday :)

It is tough to share a birthday with election day. TOUGHER THIS YEAR, tho'.

I hope you voted. I know I did. :)