July 16th 2008 4:03 pm
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Q: What is your Main Job Function in the Company?
A: Being the oldest son, I must learn everything I can as quickly as possible, because one day I will take over the enterprise. Right now, I oversee the budget. I make sure that no ribbon is wasted, and no buttons or beads fall to the floor. I hate having to bark at Mom, but I cannot tolerate waste. Usually, she picks the fallen item up when I bark at her, but sometimes she doesn't pay attention, then I have to pick it up and run circles around the kitchen with it. Mom hates chasing me to get me to drop things, so I see it is making her more careful.
Q: I see you modeled the Baseball themed bows. How much can a good looking pup like yourself make from doing modeling work?
A: Well, we are a relatively new business, so we are investing most of our profits back into the business, for materials and such. Because of this, I model for much less than my normal going rate. Mom throws a greenie, or Merrick treat my way every day, and that is good enough for now.
Q: What do you enjoy most about owning your own business?
A: That's easy: More time with Mom!
July 6th 2008 5:49 pm
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Yesterday I was napping on my favorite spot, the back of the couch, when Momma snatched me up and told me we had WORK to do. Huh? I work at doing nothing all day, and it keeps me busy enough, but you know how Mommas are when they are determined about something.
Anywoof, she took me outside, put me on the patio table, and pulled all my hair in a bunch and slapped some strings on it that she calls a bow. Cooper was looking out the window and laughing his tail off at me, he said it would only be a matter of time before I became an indentured servant/underpaid model for Momma's newest enterprise: Darlin Beauxs, Inc.
How did she get into the bow business? Take a wild guess. Can't figure it out? Well it has four legs, squats to pee, and goes by the name of Darcy Darlin.
I have attached a photo from my portfolio for your viewing enjoyment. The best thing you can do to prevent animal testing is to boycott the products who do such evil to us innocent pets. Therefore, I ask that you NOT buy any of Momma's horridly homemade bows. Thanks for your cooperation in putting this madwoman out of business!
May 27th 2008 6:40 pm
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Today is a strange day, pups. Mom and I are kind of out-of-sorts, even though we are at the comfy house and safe, we feel out of our element, like she grew another set of legs and a tail, and I suddenly grew thumbs, just unnatural.
Just like the wise doggie tells us, the best place to start a story, is right smack dab at the beginning of it, so here goes:
Daddy got up and was leaving for work this morning, but Momma noticed it was taking him longer than usual to leave, when she overheard him on the phone, in a quiet hushed tone. When she went to the garage door to see just what Daddy could be doing he yelled at her to stay in the house...and the he said SNAKE!! Well, Momma didn't need much convincing to stay in the house! Daddy cut the head off the snakey, and was going to grab some spray cleaner from the cabinet, when WTF, he sees ANOTHER snakey curled up on the TV, right at Daddy's eye level, as if to say "Turn Sportscenter ON!" Daddy yelled, knocked that snake down, and chopped him up, too. After many people studied the pictures, it was determined that they were two water moccasins, which are poisonous to doggies and mommas and daddies!
I sure am glad that Daddy killed the snakes. Cooper says he was never worried, if he would have found the snakes first, he would have shook them so hard their brains would have rattled, then when they were dizzy he would have flung them out of the garage so that they could never find their way back. Darcy, being the wise oldest pup, said that she TRIED to tell Momma there was snakes in the garage, she kept standing in the garage and looking over to the corner where snake number one was camping out, but Momma never paid attention. She too, is glad that Dad was such an efficient snake-slayer, and says that this is further proof that Daddy has supernatural powers, since he rescued her and all. (eye roll)
On an equally serious note, Momma is sad today. She had to take her oldest friend to rehab. I asked Momma what rehab was, and she said it is a place people go to when they want to kick a bad habit. I told her I thought Cooper should go into rehab for Mom and toy addiction, but she said that was just his personality (sigh). Momma was so sad, and her eyes were watery, so I did the only thing I knew to do, I laid on her chest, and licked the salty water off her face. Momma said sometimes the right thing to do is usually the hardest, thats why it hurts. Pups, please pray for my Momma's friend.