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Floyd's life

Staffy patrol at mr floyds

Hello hello hello, yes it's me Mr Floyd you can all sit back down now take a load off.It's been quiet a long time since ive had a diary entry if i could type i would be here 24/7 but my nails kinda get caught in between the key's on mummys keyboard.Chasing that sheila up to do an entry was like tryin to get blood out of a stone but after much persuasion a few sloppy kisses and a cute smile (did i tell you i have a smile to die for) she relented and with me callin the shot's started typing.Geez how hard can it be im the one doin all the talking she just has to push the keys and thankgod thats all she has to do (little insight into my mum she has a very small filter between her brain and her mouth) but hey im not complaining beggars cant be choosers right !
Well now onto the goss and meanderings of the one and only Mr Floyd its Thursday the 8th May 2008 the sun is shining,the birds are singing and lifes good.I just checked my diary for the day and it looks like a cruisey one,im usually flat out in the backyard on staffy patrol and let me tell you thats no easy task just ask any staff you dont get 5 minutes to yourself,its either chasing the birds (they leave their calling cards all over the back porch and mum cracks it i agree with her there though,just one card per 100 birds would suffice i mean they all have the same bloody name Keeping an eye out at the gate to see who is in the hood and repeatedly asking Kitty who's there yessssssss its still here much to my dismay but we sorta worked out a little peace offering i get free massages and she gets a little longer on her visa after all she is just visiting .The garbos just been noisey sort of fella and late neva on time .Dads up n about had a cuppa smoke and pee now his laying on my futon watchin a dvd, man im over tellin them its my peace out zone not theirs after all im the one working 10 hr day's.Mmmm an aroma is wafting thru the air it's lunch time pleasssse my tummy thinks my throat has been cut breakfast seems like a world away mums got no perception of time well not in the staffy world,i should have come with a handbook when it comes to feeding your staffordshire its like (my rules) once or twice every 4 hr's and liberally.
The furry rat that stalks the house has pulled up a bit of window sill and is sunning its fur coat,speaking of which i have put a request in for a new one mine has a couple of holes in it,i disgussed this with the furry rat n she pulled me quietly aside n said "you idiot your suppose to have 2 holes in you coat" do i really need to explain why and what for pffft i have zero tolerance for kittys with big mouths that think they know everything i indeed knew all this i was just checking she was on the same page as moi.Yep the big fellas (daddy) in the kitchen im tryin sooo hard to see whats on the menu but hey staffys come in all shapes n sizes and i lucked out in the long leg department but make up for it in sex appeal .Thennnn what i was waiting for the voice yes the voice it was mum asking me if i would like fish cocktails (i quickly tried to warrant the furball to another part of my castle away from temptation she loves fish yanno and im not in the mood for sharing a table with that little no it all) chicken dim sims its not breast fillet as ive grown so accustomed to but it will do and chips leave them out boring strips of nothing unless mummy brings the sour cream out of course.I might have to add a few things im thinking to the weekly shopping list a couple of kilo of cheese wouldnt go astray mate thats just doggy heaven.Well ive sniffed out a nice warm sunny nook to lay my weary bones for the rest of the day,so much to do and such little time until my next entry keep smiling as we staffys do ....Mr Floyd

long time no entry

Hi all dogster pal's and kin.
Well mums finally decided to get her lazy tushy up and at the monitor to do a diary entry form me given its only been like 6 mnths now,she has been busy though so all is forgiven.

Now update on how my household is goin to when the last entry was added
That furry thing that was real tiny that mummy found up a tree is still here,but hey she is my best friend we play all day but damn she has got a set of nails on her and the fur ball trys to swim in my wine glass,go figure that 1,she is a bit short on brains that kitty but im not sayin anything to mum cause the treats kitty gets at times taste better than mine so alls sweet heheh.
Dad does nightshift so i have to choose my words really carefully after 5pm of a weekday (when he leaves 4 work) cause im the only male stuck ere with 2 simple sheilas and 1 of them sheilas is a baby lion and doesnt take crap from anyone she doesnt meow she growls so then its time for me to busy myself in another part of my castle.. to be continued

Damn Alien's

Hello "Mr Floyd" here and the secretary (typing) I bet you all thought I had gone AWOL well I’ve been here but the sheila that feeds me hasn’t had time to update the ramblings in the life of Floyd and let me tell you have I had some ramblings of late.
You know those furry, piddling little overgrown rats they call pussies well mummy found one didn't she and I think it sux big time.
The filthy little thing has been here a week now and I yes MEEEEEEEEE have sorta taken a back seat in regards to the pecking order, it’s really tiny and very young so mummy sorts it out before she sees to my need's and there are many (for me) as I’ve told you all before im high maintenance. The kitty is goin to the vets (hehehe) to see if she has a microchip damn alien thing it is and if someone owns her im rid of her (yeehaa) if not well gawd I dunno what the folks are going to do, they better liase with me before any major decisions are made about the kitty’s new home cause im not I repeat nooot sharing my nest with a damn alien fur ball that wants to eat me. I rule the roost and she just cant seem to get a grip on that, my sorry butt gets thrown out the back door every morning and the alien rocks round my house like she owns the show.dont get me wrong she is cute (I didn’t tell you that) but damn her nails man are like a freaking chainsaw and they aren’t getting any where near my tushie if I can help it.
Another thing those norty birdies are getting nortier and attitude wow they top the class in that department, as if the nibblies and wine mummy puts out side for me aren’t enough the freeloaders they have taken to walkin right in to the kitchen and helpin themselves to my rations in there as well, I work hard for my keep and they well they just fly round all day without a care in the world while im sloggin it out doin staffy patrol, they talk about me I know they do, I have confirmed they deliberately hone in on Mr Floyd's snacks a little birdie told me so and they think im simple to boot go figure dun make any sense to me I mean just because I’ve had a few misadventures in the past don’t mean im mentally challenged now does it .
As I say why have a dog and bark yaself (I don’t fully understand that saying) but it sounds good hey? and im the man just ask me.....
"Mr Floyd" xxxx