September 10th 2007 6:05 pm
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My husband and I would like to thank each and every one of you for the incredibly kind sentiments in the form of rosettes, paw-mails, poems, digital art, stars, personal diary entries, forums, friend requests and strolls. You have literally carried me through this so far. Every tiny tribute to Seva fills me with joy. It's overwhelming. It's so hard to wallow in my own pity when I am inundated with all of this celebratory love for Seva. It forces me to focus completely on her. And if I can accomplish that, I can't possibly be sad.
I still feel Seva with me. I truely do. When other loved ones in my life have gone, I have simply felt their absence; a hollow emptiness. With Seva, I feel a magnificent, deeper presence. Although physically separated, I feel connected.
As soon as Seva was gone, and her body was transported to the funeral parlor (It's true! We have a pet funeral home here!), my husband and I had an overwhelming urge to take Finlay for a hike along the Minnesota river valley. In fact, this would be the third consectutive hike we'd be taking throughout the difficult weekend. During the first hike, among much other wildlife, we witnessed a large owl who, from the middle of the forest, flew right out in the open, perched with his head turned nearly behind him, and simply stared at us screaching. Amazing, we thought. You just don't see that everyday. The next day, during our second hike, a hummingbird came out of nowhere, again in the middle of deep woods, and literally hovered in front of my face at eye level. I thought he was going to land on me. He simply stared at my face for three full seconds, then flew away. The third day, and the day of Seva's death, we saw a tiny baby snapping turtle, no bigger than a silver dollar; a beautiful family of swans complete with tiny babies; and then a fawn ran right out beside our path. A little orange fawn with white polka dots. (I'm pretty sure Finlay wanted to eat her, but we won't hold that against him...)
Tiny babies everywhere. In the Fall season. To me and my husband these sightings were gifts- pure and simple. Messages, from Mother Nature herself, or perhaps straight from Seva.
And now, to feel Seva's presence I need only find my way to the forest for a direct connection; her silky hair the soft breeze, her warm breath the sunshine, the sparkling crisp water her ebullient joy.
Now if I could only find a substitute for the smell of her tiny temple where I kissed her 1000 times a day...
Seva's not gone. Far from it. I feel her spirit stronger today than I have in years. With that, and the immense spirit of friendship offered to us from across the country, and the world, how could I possibly be sad?
Thank you again. From the bottom of our hearts. You have no idea what it means to us.
And Seva will write again. I can feel it.
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