July 26th 2005 1:16 pm
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1. The garbage collector is NOT stealing our stuff.
2. I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee table.
3. I will not roll my toys behind the fridge.
4. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur BEFORE entering the house.
5. I will not eat the cats' food, before or after they eat it.
6. I will stop trying to find the few remaining pieces of clean carpet in the house when I am about to throw up.
7. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc.
8. "Kitty box crunchies" are not food.
9. I will not chew my human's toothbrush and not tell them.
10. We do not have a doorbell.
11. I will not bark each time I hear one on TV.
12. I will not steal my Mom's underwear and dance all over the backyard with it.
13. My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
14. I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Mom's driver's license and car registration.
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