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Sam's Tales

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For Mom

January 17th 2015 3:53 am
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Mom I know today is a really bad day for you, but you know it was time for me to go to heaven.
I wish you could think only of the good times, I know you do, but it's hard to do on certain days.

I know you have been through really bad times these last few months and that you wished you could have joined me, but you knew someone needed to be there for Mikey, Prissy, and Flame.
I am thankful they are there for you even though I wish I could be there as well.

You will always be in my heart and I in yours, but sometimes you have to do very hard things when you just want to give up.
Please never give up Mom, you know I wouldn't want you to and that I am always with you, like you were there to hold and comfort me as I passed over to the bridge.

Kiss Mikey, Prissy and Flame for me and I am sending you a big kiss and some of the good memories to put a smile on your face.

I will love you always.


Wish I Was There

November 5th 2014 2:28 am
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I sure wish I could be with mom right now. I wish she was able to pet me and hold me and do all the things she used to do and I could comfort her.

She's been going through a really bad time because of the operation she had in September and even though she tried to tell the doctor and nurses something wasn't right they wouldn't listen.

She's in pain and Mikey and Prissy aren't sure what they should do, I guess it makes them nervous to see her cry or hurt.

She had an idea what the doctor had done wrong and then she saw her regular doctor who told her about something else that was not right and mom doesn't think it can be fixed because the doctor cut some of the skin off and then sewed it together.

Mom has no one but us and she keeps telling me to come back for even a few minutes so she can hold me, she knows it can't happen, but she can wish for it anyway.

Mom had to send Flame, her horse and best friend to someone to take care of until she got better and she is missing Flame so very much, but knows she can't do what needs to be done for Flame right now.

Mom I love you, please don't think of bad things, we'll be together when it's the right time, but for now just know I am with you and love you.


Another Birthday

August 17th 2014 1:17 pm
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Mom's crying already, I wish I could be there with her to hold.

It's been eight years since that awful night that I had to leave and I know moms heart broke. I wish I could have stayed, but there wasn't any way I could have, it was just my time.

My birthday is tomorrow and I'll be 19 years old. I left mom when I was 11, it seems like it was way too soon.

I know Mom thinks there must have been something she could have done, but after the vet gave me some shots I felt better and was able to breathe.

I miss mom so much and I know she misses me and even though she has Prissy and Mikey and loves them, I was her first Boston and she learned what Boston love is and can't seem to stop being sad now that I'm gone.

Mikey and Prissy try to cheer her up, and she tries to feel better, but I can tell she is still very sad that I had to leave.

I love you Mom and know you love me. I'll always be with you and watch over you.


Watching Mom

January 5th 2014 10:49 am
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My last entry was February 8, 2012 and mom's horse Misty had died on the same day I did. I had no idea what would happen on February 16, 2012 and decided not to write about it until now.
Mom finished cleaning the stalls and Cookie, who was Misty's son, was hanging around like he always did hoping she'd give him a treat. Mom finished and went in the house, but looked out the window and didn't see Cookie out eating grass with Flame. Mom went back out and Cookie was still standing in the same place he had been when she went inside. She checked his gums to make sure they were the right color and he wasn't starting to colic. His gums were ok, but when mom turned to walk away she saw Cookie start to follow her, but he was walking like he was drunk. She went in a called the vet, who came out and asked mom if she noticed his tongue was blue. Mom said no and asked what would cause his tongue to turn blue. The vet said it meant he wasn't getting oxygen to his blood and something could have burst inside of him. Mom had to have him put to sleep and he was buried next to Misty. Mom doesn't believe in coincidence's, Misty died on January 17th and Cookie on February 16th. Mom thinks someone who lives at the rental trailer park someone built next to the pasture poisoned them. She's had problems with a few people who live there, usually not the same ones because most end up getting evicted.
Mom doesn't think whoever did it still lives there, and the reason Flame hasn't had anything happen to her is because she won't let anyone but mom get near her, even if they have feed.
I know mom's going to have a bad time when the 17th comes around, she always did when I died and now Misty died on the same date, then Cookie on February 16th.
I'll be with her even though she still cries when she starts thinking about me, she knows I'm watching out for her and Flame.


I Wish I Could Be There With Mom

February 8th 2012 1:24 am
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January was a really bad month for mom.
She had so many things happen and then on January 17th, the day I left her world, her horse, Misty, who was 32 years old died.
Mom had Misty since she was a year old and she always said Misty would out live her, but it wasn't to be.
Mom and the vet said Misty died of a heart attack and there wouldn't have been anything Mom could have done for her. Mom still felt bad because she was home and if she had known she would have been with Misty so she wouldn't have to die alone.
Mom held me when I was leaving and it was really nice.
Mom has been strong when she's around people, but I see her when she's alone and wish I could stop her tears.


For Sam My Heart Dog

December 29th 2011 11:50 pm
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Well another Christmas has passed without you. This will make five.
I still miss you so very much, you are the light of my life.

I know January 16th will be here soon, the day your problem started, and then January 17th around midnight when I found you on the floor and held you until you passed on.

I'll always love you best and will never forget you being in my life.





September 25th 2011 11:39 pm
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I wish sometimes that I could still be with mom. I loved her so much and know she loved me.
I know I can't be there in body, but I'm still there in spirit.
Mom still has my wreath and pictures of us on the wall so I know how much she still cares.
I never gave her the problems my step-sister and brother give her, but I know she loves them too.
It's nice here at the Bridge, but it isn't a real home like I had where I could snuggle with mom and play ball with her.
I know everytime she thinks about me she gets a few tears, and says she'll never forget me.
I'll never forget her either.


Mikey and Prissy

May 19th 2009 5:00 am
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Well it looks like my step sister and brother are finally breaking out of their shells, going to the prom and doing other things.
I'm happy they have made friends and it helps mom too.

It's hard to believe it's been so long since I was there, but I can watch from the Bridge and hopefully guide them in the right direction.

Mom still cries for me and she knows I love her still.


I Love You

January 17th 2009 4:54 pm
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Hey Mom,

I just wanted to write and let you know things on the Bridge are good, but it's not like being with you.
I know you'd say the same things to me and how much you miss me.
I can see you and the tears you cry so don't think you can hide it from me.

You know it will be 2 years tomorrow that I left, even though I didn't want to go I had no choice, but at least we were together one more time.

You need to take better care of yourself so I'll have someone to write to and you still have me to talk to.

Love Forever


Hey Mom

August 5th 2008 3:21 am
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I know you are thinking alot about me and how you would feel better if you could have me back, but you know that wouldn't change some things. I would love to be with you and someday we'll be together.

I'm happy here and have no more problems, but you know I'd rather be with you.

The Bridge is great and I've met lots of friends, some who didn't have a good life, but now are happy and carefree.

I know you love Mikey & Prissy and they do all they can to make you feel better, like coming to you and kissing and just laying by you when you are sad.

Iwant you to be happy again and if you can't do it for yourself do it for me.

Love Sam

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