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Shhhh... I'm hiding!

Laser Beam Eyes.

I'm an alien. I have laser beam eyes. My family just found out. If you don't believe me, just look at my pictures. That is why I'm always hiding - I don't want to accidentally laser someone to death.

shhh...

Hi. This is Usul. I don't usually go online, cuz it is too scary. I do have a few friends - Lydia is my best friend and we live together. She wishes that I was her boyfriend, but I am gay. I actually have more real life doggy friends than Lydia, because I am nicer to other dogs than her. I get to go to other dog's houses and hang out, because I am nice and don't try to be mean to them - Lydia has to stay home. My favorite friends are Jazzy and Buddy and Cleetus and Rolo (Rolo is my FAVORITE friend). After I know people I will relas and be more comfortable, but that takes a REALLY long time. When new people come over to the house, I usually hide in the closet. If I am really scared, I will pull down a bunch of mom's clothes off the hanger, so I can lay in them and hide better. Mom hates it when I do that.

We have two houses, one in town, and one in the woods. When I am in the woods, I like to hide in the bushes and trees and run a lot. But when I am in town, I am VERY afraid to go outside, because there is nowhere in my back yard to hide, cuz it's all just grass and one tree. I don't like to go to the bathroom when anyone is watching, so I always go behind that tree. Mom and dad have to force me to go outside and make sure the door is closed really tight, otherwise I will keep trying to get in. I lay right by the door, so that way if anyone opens the door, I can sneak back in. But usually then I get in trouble and they make me go back out. I run and hide in the closet. When mom comes to get me, I just go limp. I think that mom will feel sorry for me and let me stay in, but usually she just drags me back out while I lay limp with my paws in the air.

Sometimes I like to be really snuggly and I crawl into bed with mom and dad and lay in between them. I'm not really supposed to be up there, but I look so cute that they are forced to cuddle me. Also, if I'm scared or lonely, I try to sit on mom or dad's lap, even though I am WAY to big. They usually let me. It's all part of the cuteness.

I'm deathly afraid of cameras. Mom tries to sneak pictures of me all the time, but I am too smart and I will run and hide. If she corners me, I will tuck my head under my paw, so the camera can't steal my soul. I even know if she is trying to take my picture while I'm sleeping, or without the flash and almost always manage to hide first! - I'm REALLY good at hiding and take a lot of pride in that.

When my mom and dad come home, I like to tap dance. I'm REALLY good at it! I flop around and my feet are like magic! I smile really big. That is when I am the happiest EVAR.

Mom and Dad have a big fishtank that has big fish in it. Sometimes the fish fight, and they splash around and that scares me a LOT. Then I have to run and hide.

I do bark sometimes. Some dogs bark to scare off whatever it is that maybe scary, but I bark because then mom or dad or Lydia can protect me. I really love them. They aren't scary at all.