Woofs to You, Diary

Hey Diary,

Sorry its been so long since my last post. I've been a really busy dog! Turns out we're expecting!! A baby - that is. Mom's having it - at least that's what she told me. Says there's gonna be some changes around the house regarding "my room" and my weekend fun time and all that sleeping in the middle of the bed.

Yea right - good luck Lady - nothing's changing on my watch - and it certainly isn't going to happen by a baby. By the way, Diary, do you know what a baby is?

Anyway, in other news the parents have given up on clipping my nails themselves. I guess I'm just a little too much to handle. I mean I do hate it and I do whine and I do wiggle and stuff. So, they took me to PetSmart and some nice lady there did it. She put me on a table and put a leash around my head and everything. There was no where to go. I didn't really like it but I guess she wasn't fazed by all my squirming around since she doesn't love me like my parents do. Oh, she cleaned my ears too and I'm embarrassed to say those puppies were a little dirty. I had even had a bath before we went to the store. I think I'll have to start reminding Dad to get in my ears when he washes me. For my good behavior I got a new pink bandana. Which is cool because its totally my signature color!! Its brings out all the warm colors in my coat. Plus Mom likes it and we like to humor her.

What else? I got a new bed. Its great for sleeping next to - which is what I did last night. I'll have to have Mom put up the pics. Its really quite lovely but I'm a bed people puppy. We all know that and I have the photos to prove it. I'm not sure if they'll try to get me on it again tonight but if they do...I'll be ready.

Walking After the Rain

When Mom got home from work yesterday she and I decided to take a walk. Well, she decided but I thought it was one FAB idea. I could not contain my wigglyness. It’s a funny thing – wigglyness. Mom says I wear mine on my rear. Meaning: when I’m happy that thing is a wiggling and there’s nothing I can do to stop it. It’s kinda like those hounds who blush at any site – immediately giving away their feelings. But I digress, Diary.

We started out the back door and I saw Mom pick up the ball launcher. WE WERE HEADING TO THE OPEN FIELD!! Yippee! I shrieked. And with that we were off. Heading to the field I sniffed everything in site – empty chip bags, bird poop, sticks and leaves. Leaves are starting to fall everywhere and I love it. I like to run through them as if I’m blazing a new path to...well, somewhere.

By the time we get to the open field I am so ready to be let loose! Ma lets me go and I run and run and then immediately circle back to her because I know she’s gonna toss that ball. And toss it she did! I bounded down the hill in pursuit of the ball as I would chase, say, a duck. And chase some ducks I did.

You see Diary there were a bunch of ducks waddling around in a mock pond in MY open field. Said mock pond must have been created as an aftermath of all the rain we’ve had recently. Whatever reason I was certainly glad it was there!! I chased those lazy ducks right on out of MY field. You should have seen them trying to get away – bow-lairous!!

The only thing was, I chased them into the pond area and as I put on my Kasey breaks I realized they were stalling. Before I could react or readjust I was slipping and sliding around the pond. My back legs flew out from under me and I plopped right down in the middle of it. Mom was just standing there cracking up. Can you believe her rudeness Diary? I mean I could have been hurt BUT of course I wasn’t because I have skills like graceful cat.

DIARY? Are you laughing at me too? Well, I never.

Anybow-wow, the rest of the adventure was fun. There was much ball chasing to be done. I was wet. The ducks were wet. Mom was wet. I guess that's what we get for walking after the rain but be assured Diary, good times were had by all.

The Most Boring of All Boring Weeks

Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

Sad isn’t it Diary? I have nothing exciting at all to report. In fact, and I hate to admit it, but it’s kind of been a boring week around the ‘ole homestead. Mom’s been falling asleep early (she blames in on the presidential address), we ran out of puppy food gravy (there’s really no excuse for this) and it’s literally been raining since Sunday (the only thing I hate more than rain is, well...nothing...I just hate rain - mostly because I do not enjoy using the “facilities” while tiny rain pellets hit my delicate snoot. In fact, I won’t even go - I just stand there and get pelleted in the snoot...but I digress, Diary).

What’s a Dogg to do?

Well, for starters, I ate a whole bone Monday night just to, ya know, pass the time. Then I puked up the whole bone Tuesday morning after I launched myself outta bed like a rocket.

Oh, and I’ve started this new low-growl whine that totally commands petting. And if they stop petting - I do it again. I get lots of petting.

I still love my Balone...SQUEAK!

I have also learned to love salad. All kinds - the shiny green leaves, the dark purple radicchio, the tiny strings of carrot. All kinds of yum.

And in closing during this the most boring of all boring weeks, I have truly turned sleeping style of spooning into a work of art. I spoon left, I spoon right. Chest up, chest down. With Mom, with Dad. At the top of the bed, at the bottom. Hello my name is Kasey and I am a spooner.

TGIF!

And that's all I have to say about that.

Puppy Flash - Kasey T. Does Not Disturb Parents

Bartlett, Ill. - September 6, 2006 - Kasey T. Dogg, canine to Jessica and Brian, went an entire night without disturbing her sleeping parents. When asked how she accomplished her dramatic assent to the top of the bed unnoticed Kasey bragged, “When I go Double 0-7 there’s no detecting me. I decide its time that for that pillow to be mine and you better believe that pillow will be mine.”

Circle Plop, Circle Plop, Circle Plop Repeat

Last night was one of those nights Diary. One of those nights where I just couldn’t catch a comfy break. Each and every time I did my “circle plop” routine I inevitably landed somewhere that one of the parental units disapproved of. There was much kicking and pushing and grumbling on their parts and I gotta be honest Diary - it was kind of annoying. I mean there I am just trying to quietly get comfy and fall asleep on Dad’s head, Mom’s gut, Dad’s tender knee or Mom’s arm...when all the bed wrestling begins. I mean it’s not like I was bathing myself - OH NO! We all know bathing at my leisure is a big no-no.

Maybe they should buy a bigger bed. Or get their own for that matter. Did it ever occur to the two of them that I too need room to stretch out? I am

Always
Let
Leggy

Ladi es
Enjoy
Goodnight’s
Sleep

for dog’s sake. Sideways leg at that. Where to they expect me to put them? At my side? Impossible. Curled in a tiny, cuddly ball of puppy all night? That’s just not good for the joints. I must expand and contract my muscles...into Mom’s ribs or Dad’s ear...no matter to me. All body parts are ripe for the ploppin’.

We Go Together Like Peanut Butter and Poop

Dear Diary,

As you know I am a lady. And as such I do not usually choose to share unladylike stories. However, today I am thrilled and appalled at the same time and thus feel the need to share. It seems as though I’m not what you’d call regular. I mean I’m normal and all that but just not quite regular...in the bathroom department. Now I go, don’t get me wrong, just not at the most convenient times like say, for example, when I’m outside in the morning or on my walk in the morning or when I’m outside in the evening or on my walk in the evening. Sometimes I do. But not always. It’s the not always part I think my parents have a problem with.

I also don’t really eat regularly. I get my food twice a day like other dogs but I’m just not that interested in it. You see, in the mornings I have stuff to do - like play with my parents, chase the ball, stick my nose in the shower, watch Mom fix her hair, get my daily dose of makeup, pose with various toys and last but certainly not least whine from the moment my Dad puts on his shoes because that indicates its time for my morning walk - the one I don’t go to the bathroom on.

So my parents, the geniuses that they think they are, have devised a plan to get me on a “regular” schedule. They are feeding me peanut butter with breakfast and dinner to 1.) get me to go to the bathroom and more importantly 2.) get me to eat...period.

It worked yesterday - I poo’ed on my morning walk but today...today...I’m sorry people I just didn’t have to go. I never thought I’d see someone get so upset at me for not going el numero dos! Dad huffs and puffs - chest all big and complains that I’m the most annoying dog ever. Can you believe that Diary? Most annoying dog ever? Why? I am saving him the hassle of picking that crap up - literally. You’d think he’d be happy about that. But no. He isn’t. He wants me to GO - on command. And I’d like him to play with me on command...and round and round we go!

My Balone

I got a new toy the other day Diary. From PetSmart. It’s a balone.

“What is a balone?” you might ask

Well, it’s a cross between two tennis balls and a bone of course! You see there’s a tennis fabric covered “bone” in the middle and a humungo tennis ball on either side. All three together = Balone.

“And how did you come to know it as a balone?” you might wonder

That’s what my parents call it - they’re idiots. It’s cool, though. I love them just how they are.

I Would Like to Thank My Parents For All the Tender Loving- Care, the Vet’s Office for The Annual Shots that Keep Me- at the...

Dear Diary,

I’M FAMOUS! For reals, Diary. I AM FAMOUS! A few months ago my Mom was approached by NorCal GSP Rescue, via Dogster Paw Mail, to use some of my photos on their web site that was being redesigned at the time. So my Mom, being the ever proud parent, offered up a number of my pictorial gems to the cause and off we went about daily ways - totally forgetting that we ever sent the photos.

And then an email came,

“Our site is now live. Pictures of Kasey can be found on the main page in the photo rotation and in the “Is a GSP Right for You? Section.”

Ah, me at the all-weather, pond-laden dog park and as a nothing but a pup in the front garden - sure brings back memories Diary!

So go ahead and check me out:

NorCal GSP Rescue

You know you want to!

I Still Got It

I’m not sure if you know this Diary since you are just a Diary - a body less, feeling less internet web page exiting only to satisfy my occasional musings and confidential rants - but it has been really quite hot lately. Lie down in the middle of my walk hot, drink dirty puddle water from underneath a muddy tire hot, suddenly grow a 13-inch tongue hot.

As a result, my parents have been denying me the one activity I love the most: runs and swims at the all-weather, pond-laden dog park. Hour-long runs and swims at the all-weather, pond-laden dog park. Now, I am a RUNNER and a SWIMMER so, you can easily deduce that it’s just been a horrible, horribly boring summer...capital S-N-O-R-E!! Main reason could be A.) that my parents are awful, terrible, fun-hating heathens, capable of only spreading boredom and NOT joy or B.) that the lunatics in charge of the all-weather, pond-laden dog park have closed it for remodeling during the height of doggie-frolicking season. So seeing as lunatics all over the world rule - there is simply no place to play this summer that has both fields and ponds for frolicking and without the water for frolicking I overheat like a delicate flower planted in a sand dune!

Until now...

On a recent Sunday excursion in my new automobile, the parents and I discovered a lovely grass-covered retreat known as Bode Lake. “I’m sorry, did you say Lake?” I asked my parents with my snoot tilted excitedly to the left. “Yes, Poopyloopagus - A LAKE!” they exclaimed!! And with that we were off...I could hardly control myself and we walked and walked and walked in search of the water. When I saw it over the indigenous Illinois plains – WATER!! Pulling and tugging and jumping and squealing ensued until I was finally set free like a endangered Orca back to the wild.

I was home. Jumping and splashing into the wide open waters. Fetching my tennis stick and my orange floaty thing and sticks. Running on shore and kicking mud all over my parents. Standing on the shore and shaking my ears to and fro. The joy was overflowing. It was even coming out of my nostrils...or maybe that was snot? But anybow-wow, good times were had and you know what I learned most of all? When it comes to swimming - I still got it.

This diary entry dedicated to my girl Charlotte...no you rock...no you rock...no you rock...