December 14th 2012 10:09 am
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Here's an update on the Riley might be on the stage fiasco. HE DIDN'T GET THE PART. Big surprise there. (Yes, we schnauzers understand sarcasm.) The really big surprise is that I didn't get the part as Sandy in Annie, either. So what I didn't audition. They should have known! Considering my considerable stage experience and talent, not to mention my last name is Sandy, I simply can't believe it. What I do believe is that I hear the mismatched mixed breed that was chosen is bombing. I don't mean to besmirch anyone's reputation - he's doing a good enough job of it on his own - but it seems that he's afraid to be on the stage and won't go to Annie, even when she implores him with treats in hand. Sure, I'm a bit short in stature, but if you remember my motto (one of many) "You're as big as you think you are," then you know I would have been perfect for the part. Everyone would have seen me as a big dog because that's how I would have played the role! Heck, I already played Toto as a BOY and a CAIRN TERRIER.
Maybe next time...
Lexi Sandy, not Annie's Sandy
December 14th 2012 10:22 am
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Hello my loyal and awesome fans,
Well, I did it again. Headline news: I am starring (Mom says appearing, I say starring) in the Chattanooga Symphony Opera's Home for the Holiday Production at the Tivoli Theater this weekend. Saturday and Sunday. If you remember, I already did one gig for the Tivoli when I rode around with "Dorothy" in a pedicab to promote their Wizard of Oz symphony production. Anyhow, here's how it all came down this time:
I went to work with Mom yesterday so that I could A. Hang out and get fed and pet and B. Go to one of the local hospitals to help make people there smile. A. happened, B. cancelled - odd- I've never had them cancel before, but something about the pet therapy person having knee surgery.
Mom had a Home for the Holidays production meeting that evening at the church where we work, and since I was itching for something to do, I followed along with her to the meeting. I was busy mingling and checking for food when the producer caught sight of me and without so much as an introduction, glance at my bio or anything, said, "I want that dog in the show." I am a natural, I have to admit. One look at me and someone in the know, just knows. I belong on the stage, it is like my second home. Adoring fans, treats, what more could any schnauzer ask for? Mom answered that yes, I am a stage dog, very happy and comfortable on the stage, and if he really wanted me (come on, Mom, didn't he just say he did!?) that she would bring me. Other than running down the aisle (Mom thinks we are walking; won't she be surprised) she said she doesn't know what I am going to do after that while she is dancing, but the maestra (who fell in love with me last night at the meeting) could hold me. The producer said no, he wanted me to be able to run around. Woo hoo! I get to ad lib! I am really good at that - as I am at most things. I can't wait! I will let you, my devoted fans, know just how it went and what I do on stage.
Lexi, the Tivoli dog
December 17th 2012 5:29 pm
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I know you have been waiting with bated breath - or maybe that is kibble breath - to hear about my command performance on stage at the Tivoli. Let me just say it did not start out well. Mom and I went in the stage door and the doorkeeper - sorta like that guy with the big mustache and top hat who kept the door at the Emerald City - said, "That dog can't be here." Without missing a beat Mom said, "Yes she can." He said, "No she can't." Mom said - well you get the picture. They finally called in the folks in charge and had a big discussion and looked at rules and you won't believe this, no I couldn't. It seems the place is owned by the city and I would have had to have permits from the Humane Society and the ASPCA and I think God himself. They said it is easier to get permits for fireworks than for animals. But then everyone felt bad since they had, afer all, invited me, so they said I could stay, I just couldn't perform on stage. What was I to do...I'll tell you what! Therapy! There were a lot of stressed-out people around there, and I didn't waste any time. That sweet lady maestra was there and spent time petting me and talking so nice to me in her pretty voice. In fact the next day she gave Mom a Christmas card with my name on it too and asked why she didn't bring me!
After about an hour or so my Dad showed up and I was so happy to see him. I had just finished my therapy work - and believe me, there were a lot of folks there who needed it - and he and Riley and I went home where I took a much deserved nap.
I didn't tell Riley I wasn't on the stage. Let's keep that our secret, ok?
Lexi, the Tivoli therapy dog
December 28th 2012 12:51 pm
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Hello my adoring fans,
Once again, pet therapy day arrived. Why do people always ask if I am going to get therapy? Do they think I need it? Surely not! I am going to GIVE it. Ughh. People can be so frustrating when they aren't petting me and giving me treats.
First thing in the morning Mom plopped me in the sink and gave me a bath. Good grief, can't I at least wake up a bit more before the torture begins? I endured it for the sake of the children. I love the children. I love seeing them smile. I smile at them, too.
Then Mom found out that our friend, Mary Gardner, couldn't take me because she had company and something about rats. Mom said, no Mary Gardner didn't have rats. Mom claims M.G. just SAID "rats!" as in, "Rats, I can't take Lexi today." But I still think she had rats and that is why she couldn't take me. If she had just come and gotten me, I could have helped her out. I am a ratter breed, you know. That, by the way, is why Mom won't get a guinea pig. She thinks I will... ummmm... yep I probably would. Yummy!
So Mom ended up taking me to the hospital and the kids and I smiled at each other a lot. I sat in their beds and presented my rump and they knew what to do. I can tell who has dogs at home because they are the best petters. They know which spots to hit and how to hit it juuuuust right.
I guess that's all I have to say today. Everyone stay warm. I have my own natural winter coat since mom doesn't shave me in the winter. Please try to not be too jealous.
Lexi the warm schnauzer
February 14th 2013 2:49 pm
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I hope everyone is having a delicious Valentine's Day with all your favorite treats. Actually, I wish I was the one getting all my favorite treats. Let me tell you how my day began.
Just before mom left for work she tried to give me one of those hard candy hearts that have something called writing on them. I have had them before and know they aren't any good. When I wouldn't take it she laid it on the kitchen floor in front of me. I sensed she would be disappointed if I rejected her love offering, so I picked it up, carried it in the other room and laid it down. I hope she didn't see me do that because I didn't want to hurt her feelings. Then I ran back to say goodbye before burying the icky candy in the couch for good.
Actually, I ran back to ask if I could go with her this being Thursday and all. Statistically speaking I go with mom to work on Thursdays more than any other day so I figured my chances were pretty good as opposed to, say, a Monday. But no,she said I needed to stay home and sit in dad's lap a lot today.
So how do I get rewarded? Dad told mom that he was worried about me because I was sitting in his lap a lot today, which is a deviant from my normal aloof behavior. Mom reminded him that I was just doing what she had asked me to do. That seemed to worry him even more!
Then mom told him that she was worried about me because I didn't eat the candy she gave me this morning and maybe he should take my temperature. Thankfully, dad isn't big into sticking things in my derriere, so that didn't happen. Whew, missed that bullet.
All this just because I was trying to be nice. What is that saying... oh yes, no good deed goes unpunished.
Well, we did go for a good walk and I got to poop in other yards where cats live and watch mom clean it up. That kind of made up for the rest of the day. I am pretty tired from being so nice today, so I think I will go to bed early and hope for a better nite-nite treat.
Love to all,
Lexi the nice Schnauzer
April 17th 2013 4:40 pm
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It started out similar to any other day at the children's hospital except, since it was the week before Easter, many of the children had left or were preparing to leave. After quickly making the usual rounds, we headed up to the outpatient section on the third floor. As we stepped off the elevator I saw two nurses who standing outside the doors of a place I had never been called the IC Unit. They oohed and awed over me as usual. Now, please don't think I tire of such adulation - to the contrary, I live for it. Mom says that is why I am so good on stage. But I digress. They told us to come into the unit, but I think they were worried because they were looking around like I do when I want to snatch some of my brother’s food. I wasn’t worried, though. What’s the worst that could happen? I have certainly been thrown out of nicer places. And worse, come to think of it. So in we went, and I visited with only one person, but it was sure worth it. She asked me to sit in the bed with her while she pet me like she really knew what she was doing. She grinned from ear-to-ear and said I had made her day. I could tell she really needed me there so I settled in for the long haul. When I finally had to move on, she smiled at me until I was out of sight. I heard one of the nurses say she had been crying because her family didn’t have any gas to come and visit her. I sure hope Mom never runs out of gas. I am not sure what it is but it seems like something that is really important to have.
From there we went into the outpatient unit where I visited with only one child. As we were leaving a doctor stopped us and asked if we would wait for his patient to wake up but Mom said she had better get back to work. Then, as we were waiting to get on the elevator, someone from a place called ABC stopped us and asked if they could film me with one of the patients. Mom whipped out her cell phone and called her boss to let him know we were going to be a bit late and why. It was real quiet for a minute and later I found out that her boss didn’t say anything for a while. Boy, wasn’t he surprised! Then he said it was ok, so we went back in and I did my therapy thing for the camera. It was a little hard to do though, because I normally do therapy as a reaction to what the patient needs, and this patient didn’t really seem to need me. Dang, if I had just had some warning I could have gone into acting mode and oohed and awed everyone. I got bored with the whole thing and went to the bottom of the bed to get a better look at the camera, and so it could get a better picture of me. The people were real nice to me and told us that it would air on ABC National during some Children’s Miracle Telethon in the middle of a golf tournament. Mom explained that meant I was going to be on TV where hundreds, no thousands, no – thousands of thousands of people would see me. Woohoo! I wish they could all give me treats and ask to have their pictures taken with me.
The doctor showed up again and asked if we could come see his patient because she had really wanted to see me before she fell asleep so he could do something called an operation. She was still asleep, but her family said that was ok, just put me up close to her in the bed so they could all take pictures to show that I had come to visit her. I posed some more while everyone’s cell phone flashed.
On the way home, Mom called Mary Gardner – who had forgotten about coming to take me to the hospital – and said, boy, did you ever miss it today! He, he, wasn’t she surprised!
April 23rd 2013 5:11 pm
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Mom was looking all over the house when she finally stopped and said, "Lexi, find Lily." For those of you not in the know, Lily is my 15 year old step-sister, a biggish orangish dog. As I was in my closet at the time - that is, the master closet where my kennel resides - I started there, then stood up with my paws on the bathroom cupboards so I could try to see if she was on top of the bathroom counter. Nope. Not there. I proceeded to the living room, sniffing and using my good eyesight, but no Lily. I continued on into the kitchen, which would have been my choice of a place to hide, but not there either. I ran back to my Dad's home office and sure enough, there she was. I let out a loud bark so Mom would know I had found Lily. Mom was so happy with me that she gave me a treat. Right in front of my brother Riley.
He, he, wasn't Lily surprised!
Lexi, the tracking schnauzer
May 8th 2013 6:28 pm
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I had my birthday yesterday and I am ten years old. I hear that is a milestone. Don't believe all this stupid math about one dog year equal seven human years. It really doesn't work that way. And no one would think I was a day over, well, five, maybe. I don't really understand all this number stuff any way. I just know I am healthy and look fabulous. My hair is beautiful, my teeth are clean, my eyes are bright and there is a definite jaunt in my step. I can bark as loud as ever and run with the big dog. Every year the vet asks if my appetite is good. I am a schnauzer, for heaven's sake! Of course my appetite is good.
Speaking of birthdays and appetites, what a great day! I went to work with Mom and joined everyone in their staff meeting, which means all the staff was there. They had cupcakes for my birthday and I ate an orange one and a white one. They were mini-cupcakes, I think because I am a mini-schnauzer. So I had one plus one. We went for a walk around downtown and I thought - or hoped - I would get to go in another restaurant like I did the last time I played Toto. No such luck. After we left the church we headed to the pet store where I got to sniff everything and get one plus one treats at the checkout. I got the plus one because it was my birthday. I love birthdays. On the drive home, Mom gave me one of the new treats she bought.
I did get a bit upset when we got home because no one gave me my kibble and it was getting late - well past my supper time. The thought was that I had been eating all day and should be ok for a while. Soon I found out why I didn't get my kibble...Mom cooked me a Healthy Choice dinner and I sat at the table and ate with Mom and Dad. Mom held the fork for me and helped me eat the green beans, chicken, sweet potatoes and wild rice. Yummy! Just when I thought it couldn't get any better, it did - white cake with lots of frosting. I had to share with Riley, but he still didn't get to sit on a chair at the table like me.
Birthdays are the best, especially when they are mine!
Lexi, the birthday girl
July 1st 2013 2:55 pm
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It is summer and my boat is working! I have been going boating every weekend and love it – well most of the time I love it. I have already had a few disappointments and one accident!
The first time I went out on my boat no one brought any treats or food. What were they thinking? Riley came with us that time. If it was a matter of weight, they could have left Riley at home and brought food, don’t you think? He got too hot and panted a lot and couldn’t go in the water because he is too heavy for anyone to be able to lift back into the boat. So I think that is the end of that – unless, of course, Dad buys some kind of lift he was talking about attaching to the front of the boat to haul Riley in. That is almost too ridiculous to even consider.
This past weekend my sister Lily came along on Saturday. We were parked at the dock, getting things ready to cruise the lake, when Lily turned her big behind around toward me and knocked me off the boat, smack dab into the water. I don’t think she even knew what she had done. Dog overboard! I swam around the boat in a clockwise direction – as I always do – and Mom met me at the dock to pull me out. I’ll tell you, it is a bit harder to swim without a life jacket. I really hate wearing them, but now I understand better why I need one. Lily never settled down the whole time we were on the lake, so I think she might not be coming back either.
Sunday was the best. It was just me and Mom and treats. I got hot pretty quickly and asked to go in for a quick swim. Mom let me swim around the boat – clockwise of course – one time without my life jacket. The next time in I had on my life jacket and I swam and swam until my legs got really tired trying to keep from being pulled away by the current. Mom was in the water too so she couldn’t just reach down and pull me up. Instead, she slung me over her shoulder and climbed up the ladder with me like I was a sack of potatoes. You had better believe I was one happy sack of potatoes to be back in my pontoon boat. We ate some fruit and rice cakes and I took a little nap and felt much better. I sure hope we go again soon!
Lexi, the boating schnauzer
July 26th 2013 12:31 pm
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It's been a pretty sad couple of weeks around here. First, Dad had to have my sister Ivy "put to sleep." Mom explained that meant she died and went to heaven. Dad cried a lot and didn't eat much all week. Then he got a phone call and was upset all over again because his father died. I only met his father once, so I wasn't too sad. I stayed with my dad a lot to try to help him feel better.
Next thing I know, everyone is packing their bags and getting ready to leave town. I was excited at the prospect of a trip - I usually get to stay in a hotel and eat scrambled eggs in the morning. Then Mom starts explaining to me about my brother Andrew coming to stay with me, and I get real upset. No! I want to go! Riley noses in on the action and Mom tells him about Andrew and Connor coming and he gets all happy-like. Aghhhh! I want to go, I want to go, I want to gooooooooooooooo!!!!
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