Big Brass Ones

Bobbing for koiz

Simply irresistible--that's me.

While many beings, both sentient and less so, seem to experience very little difficulty resisting the biped's charms--and that is assuming, of course, that they are even able to locate and perceive said charms--nobody can resist yours truly, not even the slimy little fishities.

While the biped is busy contemplating such esoteric minutia as how best to paint the fuzz on a bumble bee's arse, or further discourage paying customers from interrupting him with their idiotic phone calls, I am engaged in a 24/7 (well, OK, maybe 4/7) charm offensive.

And I have now won even the koi over to my side (the feeder-fish comets, Betty and Veronica, are still playing hard to get, but they'll come around).

As I believe I have mentioned a life time or two ago, I love to drink out of the koi pond. I don't give a flying arf about the fish themselves, but I appreciate the fine "nose" they impart to the water. So, whenever I am allowed into the hot tub/deck/koi pond annex, I immediately commence slurping from the koi pond (unless, of course, there is someone simmering in the hot tub, in which case I may opt for some nice hot broth).

I have never offered the koi the slightest violence, of course. But they are nervous creatures, utterly lacking a Gordon setter's bold joy de vivre, so I took no offence at their initial tendency to skulk on the opposite side of the pond while I was drinking.

Gradually, though, they seemed to grow used to me and paid me less and less attention. That, at least, was the biped's take on their behavior. He could not conceive that they were developing a real affection--nay, admiration--for my person.

Until two mornings ago, when he was privileged to observe all ten of the koiz actually flocking (if that is what fish do) to kiss my shiny black flews while I was engaging in my pre-breakfast hydration.

Lovely creatures, koi, in a scaly sort of way.

I hope I have not done them a disservice by teaching them that the bipeds' domestic mammals are trustworthy, honorable, and charming.

Phoebe is none of those things.