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Big Brass Ones

It’s not about the potatoes.

August 3rd 2006 9:12 am
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Potatoes are nice, sure. I mean, who wouldn’t want to increase his domestic potato supply? Particularly if his parent company, DexCorp, happened to own a controlling interest in Ore-Ida?

But I deeply resent the implication that my real interest, indeed perhaps my only interest, in seeking to take Boise from the infidel is to pad my bottom line. Potatoes come, and potatoes go, but deeply held religious beliefs are eternal.

Just ask the Carthaginians. Who believed… let me see, now… well, I’m pretty sure they believed something. And Carthage, mind you, rose and fell in an age and in a place ignorant of the very existence of potatoes. No, Littermates, it would take an encyclopedic ignorance of history to believe that I am motivated by potatoes.

Nor do I allege that the present occupants (or is it occupiers?) of Boise are in any direct way responsible for the current US heat wave. Even though that heat wave is causing both canines and bipeds to drop like flies at this very moment. Even though that heat wave might be interpreted by some simple souls as a sign of Dog’s displeasure.

No, Littermates, I just want what’s mine. I mean ours. I mean, I want you to get yours. What you've got coming to you, that is.


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