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Big Brass Ones

The Promised Land

July 31st 2006 9:17 am
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Seva tells me that I need to hurry up and cook up a new DETH mission before the rapture. Or maybe that’s Rapture. I’m pretty sure it’s not rupture. I’m too big a dog myself to have to worry much about raptors, but they have been known to carry off the odd toy breed.

Be that as it may, I’m working my little walnut-sized brain overtime trying to come up with something, but I haven’t quite got it yet.

All this religious fervor does remind me, though, that it may be just about time for me to take back Boise. Perhaps I have neglected to mention it to you, but my putative ancestor St. Dexeter, founding father of Frisbetarianism, first ascended to heaven from Boise. He was actually asleep in a motel room in Bakersfield at the time, but that has never prevented us Frisbetarians from claiming Boise for our own (Bakersfield, on the other paw, you may have, thanks).

And if St. Dexeter’s miraculous dream does not provide a sufficient claim to the holy city of Boise, not to worry, we’ve got the thing covered from both sides: I, personally, am in possession of a book—a very good book—in which I promise Boise to myself and all my descendents in Perpetuity (and believe me, if you lived in Perpetuity, you’d be more than happy to pack your bags for Boise).

So, one way or the other, Boise rightfully belongs to us Frisbetarians. Though we will not, of course, be displacing any large peaceful populations of Latter Day Saints, who seem to have been squatting in our holy city for some time now. Because 1) that would be wrong and 2) they tend to be armed.

PS: Did I forget to mention the rest of Idaho? It's a nice place, Idaho. And I'm pretty sure Dog wants me to have all of it. Bye now.


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