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Big Brass Ones

All Lies and Jest II

March 6th 2006 9:42 pm
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Somehow—I can’t think how—a scurrilous rumor has taken root to the effect that I am scheming to strand all my principal rivals on Mars—something about not providing enough gas for the return trip. Balderdash! Nothing (with the possible exception of Jupiter) could be further from the truth.

First of all, as Seva will tell you if you can catch her when she’s awake, I simply have no rivals worthy of the name.

Second of all, it is in no way my fault that elementary physics dictates that you simply cannot put enough gas in a bus to get to Mars and back on one tank. But that does not mean that I was planning on stranding anybody. I have it on very good authority that there are plenty of gas stations on Mars. And I will be providing the expedition with a credit card pilfered from the biped’s wallet. Currency conversion should not be a problem—the bank takes care of that kind of thing automatically.

So, please… don’t worry about a thing, guys. Jake? Rocky? We’re saving the best seats for you!

And, Farley, if you’d like to go too, be my guest. I shall be more than happy to look after Penelope for you while you’re gone.


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