I'm still here. Keepin' on keepin' on!

Dear diary,

I am so thankful to have so many wonderful dogster pals. As lots of folks know, I had a seizure last Tuesday. It was long and awful. Foaming at the mouth, Squat had to move the furniture so I wouldn't get hurt. I overheard Squat say it was one of the worst things she's ever seen.

I don't remember it, but according to Grandma Furless, Squat kind of lost her mind. I seized for about a minute and a half. Afterwards I was a little disoriented and paced around for a bit. I also pooed on the floor, which is totally unlike me. Cricket, in what I can only call a show of solidarity, pooed on the floor right next to my poo. She's good canine, that Cricket.

Squat called Tall in the middle of my seizure and he came running home from work. They took me right to the vet, and I checked out okay. My exam was fine and blood work was good. At this point, the vet said we should just sort of wait and see...and hope I don't have another seizure. Everyone is hoping it was a one time thing.

I've been fine since, knock on wood.

Truth be told, I'm not complaining about all of the extra loving I've been getting either...

Big doings in Izzard land.

Hey everyone.

Squat stinks. We know this. She said she'd update, and she hasn't. But I guess she has a pretty good reason - this time. We have a new furless one in our house! He was born on September 4. He is awfully little and very sweet. He cries some, but the furless ones really love him, so I do too! Cricket and I have adjusted very well! His name is Calvin and we think he's pretty great. A little loud, but otherwise, cute city. I'll see if I can talk Squat into posting a pic of the little doodle. I'm quite excited for him to start eating regular food and I can assist him with his clean up!

Other than that, same old, really. One sad update, the Petite Crickeet has developed diabetes. She has to get an insulin shot twice a day. She's doing pretty well with it, all things considered. She has special food and treats now too. But she is still a happy thing, and she is very much enjoying Calvin. I think she likes him more than me and the big furless ones.

Alright, baby furless is needing attention and Squat is just not on the ball!

Hope all of our dogster friends are doing well! We miss you guys!

A tragedy and also annoying.

Dear Diary - Squat's lack of diariating for me is appalling. Tragic. Annoying. But things have been, ya know, going. We live very exciting lives. Okay, that isn't really true at all.

But we have had a couple of important developments that I'll share with my Dogster pals.

1. I sleep on the floor now. All the time. Apparently, the furless ones are over sharing the bed with me...I'll be honest. I don't mind toooo much. I now sleep on a dog bed, covered with two down comforters. And I also require Pajamas. Every night. If the furless ones forget to put 'em on me, I wake up in the middle of the night, with the crying and the shaking. Oh sure, the heat only goes down to 63 at night...but really, that is only a couple degrees above freezing.

2. Cricket has become an allergic kid. We don't know what is bothering her, but she has developed horrible itchiness and it just stinks. We are now on a special Wellness food - nothing but venison and rice. Her treats are venison jerky. No more delish food for Cricket. Which means, in turn, no delish food for me. Apparently, it would unfair to Cricket to watch me eating all kind of amazing eats and she have to suffer with only venison. SO really, we are both suffering.

3. I still hate getting up in the mornings. I won't even get up when a W-A-L-K is mentioned. I need my sleep. Oh, and I still like going to bed at night. Come around 11pm, it is time for the izzman to go the heck to bed.

4. Grandma and Grandpa Furless have moved to town! It is wonderful! So many more pets to get and laps to flop in. Grandma Furless gives the BEST back massages. I've been known to sort of back myself right up to her and hanker down, requiring her to give me many many pets on my back. And if she stops, well, I'll harass her. Crying, whining, licking. Ya know, like I do.

Well, it is dinner time, but we are going to try to post more often. We will definitely try.

There ought to be a law.

Dear Diary -

Ok, don't get me wrong. I'm glad Squat is updating my diary and pictures again. But see, I have a couple problems.

I do more than sleep. I totally do. I protect the house when Tall and Squat unleash the yellow machine of sucking fury. I bark at it every single time. Sometimes I'll even paw it.

Also, I eat. And I have been known to fetch a toy at least 10 times in a row. Additionally, I am an accomplished cat poo finder and eater. And of course, I bark at the farking poodles that live behind us.

I also love to watch furless ones get their cookeration on. LOVE IT. See, I just stand in the kitchen and I observe furless ones while the cook. I like to take it all in. Apparently, it can be a bit unnerving for furless ones who are not used to cooking with an Ibizan staring at them the entire time. I think it is particularly unnerving cause I'm not trying to steal food. Occasionally, I sniff the air and I will happily clean up any bits that fall to the floor. But I'm not about counter surfing. I just watch. I learn. How else Am I going to get the skills to star in my own cooking show? ?

And my other problem with Squat's picture updates...I mean, c'mon. The pictures are TERRIBLE. You'd think that Squat, as a furless one who will take and delete a picture of herself 24849940 times until it turns out just right, would be a bit more conscientious about posting unflattering pictures of me online.

I mean, I don't even really ever sleep with my tongue hanging out of my mouth. I drool like I'm getting paid, but I am far too demure to sleep with my tongue hanging out of my mouth...like some sort of neanderthal Ibizan...Just horrible. And so not only does she document my unpretty moment, she posts it on the web, diary. For everydog in the world to look at. And I'm not even going to tell you about the second picture she put up. Let's just say it involves me laying on my bed like a dead roach.

I will have some sort of revenge.

Plotting. Plotting. Always plotting. Even when I'm sleeping, I'm going to be plotting.

Squat stinks.

Dear Diary - I am beyond angry with Squat. She has failed to update my diary, despite my REPEATED requests to do so.

She has no good excuse either. No big changes, no exciting moments. She just plain stinks.

I finally guilted her into writing it. I won't tell you how, but lets just say it involved a lot of crying, whining and being annoying.

So. What is new...

Well, I am no longer in the bed. I kinda made the decision myself a bit. See, one night, I just went to sleep on my bed. Of course, the furless ones are very happy. And for the most part, I'm pretty happy too.

Of course, they put me in the bed this morning and it was HEAVEN! PURE HEAVEN!

But we are all healthy and doing well. Poor Cricket is having some allergy issues, but other than that we are good to go!

And ya know, I've done TONS of funny and exciting and awesome things in the past few months...but SQUAT can't remember any of them. SOOO annoying.

In fact, she can even remember telling Tall that X or Y was definitely diary material. And now she can't remember any of them.

Sigh.

She'll update it again soon OR ELSE!!!!

So, I had turned four.

Dear Diary,

I am now four.

Four. Wow. Somehow the furless ones have managed to keep my happy and well for four years.

They can't believe it has been that long. Seems like I've always been around. And Cricket turned three too.

I've didn't get anything too wonderful for my bday. The furless ones have not been in the best of health, and believe it or not, I have not been their top priority. I did receive a nice helping of steak the eve of my birthday though. And I got a bunch peanut butter on my actual bday, so I'm alright. And it looks like the furless ones are going to be alright too.

So, I'm sick of being sad, so a return to happier topics! I've found a new love. Fresh Wellness. Food showers and straight out of the bag. So, my love of bag food is well documented. See, there is a hierarchy of Izzard food love. Food shower, which will be explained later, is the best food. Second best food is bag food. Third best food is container food. Fourth best food is hand food. Fifth best food is floor food. Finally, worst food is bowl food.

The furless ones claim it is all the same food, but really, we know that they are not bright.

I used to think that bag food was the best food. Ya know, food, all fresh and great from the newly opened Wellness bag. Yeah. That stuff is good. BUT you want to know what is even better?

FOOD SHOWER. See, food showers occur only once a month. The food shower occurs when I stick my head in the container while Tall transfers the food from the bag to an airtight container. Sweet sweet food shower. It is truly the bestest. There is a certain amount of danger associated with the food shower. One could easily drown in food. Luckily, my furless ones keep an eye out. Of course, one also gets something the furless ones call "food shower carnage" which is just dust and food that gets stuck on my ears when they are coated with food shower yumosity. It rocks.

BAG FOOD. See, bag food is just better. I like to stick my shnozz all the way in and really get some good mouthfuls. Sure it is dark, but really every way I turn is foodie awesomousity! It is wonderful. I do have to come up for air, but that's okay.

CONTAINER FOOD. Good stuff, this. It is what is in the container, post food shower. Not as good as bag food though.

HAND FOOD. See, this is food that the furless ones actually feed me. Ya know, by hand. It tastes better. Trust me.

FLOOR FOOD. See, floor food is just good. First, it has had the opportunity to see a bit more of the world. And the floor. perhaps it picked up a spice or something wonderful. Second, it just tastes better.

BOWL FOOD. See, this is kind of sucker food. It leaves someting to be desired, but will be eaten in the absence of any other food. Cricket is a genius and she makes mouth gravy when forced to eat bowl food. She just takes a couple sips of water and then goes immediately to our food bowl.

I do love food. And of course, that does not account for treats, festines and rawhides. They are all very different things.

Am hungry. Must eat.

Laters,
Izz.

Just Sad.

Today is a sad day.

Our dear friend Elvis has died.

Please take a moment to send his family some love.

Elvis was a wonderful dog and we will always love him.

I'm back. Just been kinda sad, a bit busy, and focused on- other stuffs.

Yo Diary!

I am totally back-a-rooni.

Well, I was here the whole time. I was checking up on my pals. I got Squat to do at least that much. Things here have been pretty busy.

This morning, I took Squat outside for my first official spring, lay down in the sun and soak it in, flop. It was faboo.

So yeah. See, we got pretty sad about the whole Elvis thing - and we love him and are so so so so pulling for him and reading every update - cause he looks and acts so much like me. Just made us sad. Hard to be The Izzard when one is feeling a bit blue. I am supposed to feel FABOO not blue. There's just been a lot of sadness and blahness and loss-ness and health stuffs and yuck. So yeah. Just yucks. We hope everything will be alright. Paws crossed!

Squat is making jewelry. Her friends seem to like it. Cricket seems interested, but let's be honest - Cricket rolls in dead animal and her taste is not above reproach! Anyway, she's got a blog and maybe she'll post it here. Squat, not Cricket. Cricket can't type at all. Regardless, I'll withhold judgment until she presents me with an entire collection. Kind of like project runway. Except, I'm totally Heidi Klum AND Tim Gunn. And I don't mind Squat being around more. Iff'n I look at her right, and give a little whimper, she'll come over to my chair and sit next to me and give me some good head scritchies. It has its perks for sure.

Um, what else, what else. Looks like Grandma and Grandpa Furless are moving back to town! And so is Aunt Meghanator. We are very happy! Of course, that means Tito, the cairn terrier is also coming, but hey. It'll be good fun. Grandma Furless gives the best headrubbiescratches in the whole world. Yeah. And Grandpa Furless is good for layingon. SO yay! They are coming back!!!

Not much else to report. I'm good. Cricket is good. Squat is still amazed at how much we sleep each day. During the winter, we could sleep a good 23 hours a day. We really could. Speaking of which, I'm a bit tired. Been a long long day.

I promise we'll write more for sure. We just had to take a little break.

Words cannot express our sadness.

Dear Diary,

We just found out that Elvis is very very ill.

We are all so very sad. See, me and Elvis have lots in common. First, we totally look alike. And he's silly as me - and lemme tell you what, that is very very silly. And he is totally loved and totally appreciated. He is my brother from another mother.

Tall and Squat have shed tears for Elvis and his family. Of course, that is nothing compared to the pain his family must feel.

Please stop and think a good thought for them. Say a prayer. Utter a chant. Release some good energy in his name.

But really, we are so very very sad.

Dogster will not be the same without him.

Edit: Tall just pointed out that the last line of my diary should read, "Dogster would not be the same without him." He's right. We haven't given up hope yet.

Elvis is still here and he's being pampered and loved on like crazy.

Anyway, we lurve him.

I have been tagged.

Jazz-Marie tagged me and now I gotta answer some questions. Also, Agadore tagged me like a bazillion years ago. And unfortunately, Squat has been totally slacking in the diary department. So, in honor of Agadore, I am going to put in 10 wishes...

I am going to tell you 10 Valentine wishes, and then tag 5 friends with a p-mail or rosette. They will then write a diary entry and tag 5 friends with a p-mail or rosette, and so on and so on.

1. I wish that all my dogster pals knew how much they mean to me. It makes my day when I get a nice pawmail or a rosette. I love it. I think the furless ones do too. We lurve you all.

2. I wish that Tall and Squat didn't work. I mean, c'mon, giving me proper care and affection is a full-time job.

3. I wish that Squat wouldn't take away my toys RIGHT when I get a hole that is the PERFECT size for pulling out the faboo stuffing.

4. I wish that someone, somewhere, would make fabulous clothes for dogs of a certain size.

5. I wish that Tall and Squat would finally shell out the cash to get me a heated back yard. Also, Cricket wishes for stilts. She often feels vertically disadvantaged.

6. I wish I had a creek in my backyard. My inner Creek Dawg really wants out. And he wants to splash around. A whole lot.

7. I wish festines grew on trees.

8. I wish that everydog was as loved as much as me and the Crick.

9. I wish Tall and Squat would stop letting Crick in the bed in the morning. It is MY BED. And when that Cricket gets in, she nuzzles under the covers and TOUCHES ME! I know. Tall and Squat say it is so cute, how she cuddles up to me, but I am always so offended by the Crickinvasion that I get out of the good bed, and lay on my floor bed. Anyway, this would all be solved if the furless ones would just keep Crick out of the bed in the morning.

10. I wish that us dogs didn't have to leave our furless ones to go to the bridge. One of my friends, Leo, passed this week. He was a good dog. A great friend to his furless ones. A well-trained dog that loved chasing a frisbee or a tennis ball. And he loved his furless ones. Lots and lots. He was something else. His furless ones are really sad. Squat had known him for eight years. I wish that he was alive and well.

I tag:

1. Elvis
2. Meadow
3. Nebby
4. Agadore
5. Penelope