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I have what? How do you spell that?

March 13th 2006 7:54 pm
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Hi Friends! How are you? What did you do today?

Today we went to visit Dr San Juan and her friends. It was good to see her, but she was more interested in looking at my coat than playing. She concluded I have something called Bulldog Alopecia. It gives me balding spots on my sides. It should go away on it's own (and may come back from time to time), but for now, I have some thin spots on my otherwise splendid coat. It's ok - it doesn't bother me. I can still play and eat and sleep and do all the stuff I love.

I hope all is well with you too.

Your friend Barney


Stormy day

February 27th 2006 10:23 pm
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Did you know Mother Nature does a pretty eerie dog impression? She's been howling all day, and I can't help but worry each time I hear it. I get very sympathetic when I hear such wailing.

As you can see above, I have the proper gear to brave such wild weather - my trusty rain slicker.

But, even so, I prefer to stay dry. At heart, all I want to do is nap in nest of blankets...

Night, night!


but I can't climb on this either? Phooey!

February 8th 2006 7:44 pm
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It was eventful weekend at our house. Furniture was moving all over, new things in, old things out of the way, I tried to stay out of the way too and hide - scared I'd be mistakenly put in the "get rid of" corner.

I was also afraid for my chair. It's the one piece of furniture I'm allowed on. What if it didn't get to stay?...yikes! But my chair still has a place among the newness. What a relief!

But, then again, it wasn't all good news for your friend B. I got ambitious and figured with new furniture, I could stake my claim to it early on and expand my elevated territory, right? Well, I tried and tried, but it seems it has been pre-determined that I am not to be on the new things. I don't know who makes these decisions, but I will continue to protest and appeal. I don't give up easily.

I hope all is well with you, and I'd like you to know that you're welcome on my chair anytime.

your friend, Barney B


Yes, I'm the Stinker

January 31st 2006 9:26 pm
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Ok, I guess it has been brought to my attention that certain foods make me ...well ... odoriforous. It doesn't bother me, but apparently others don't enjoy it.

It's not my fault! Mother Nature has a wicked sense of humor. Maybe just open a window? I'm a bulldog. I have a sensitive tummy. This is just how I was born.

You want less stink? ... Filet mignon would be odor free.

There - that was my helpful hint. See? I'm trying. :-)

Luv, Barney


Back from vacation

January 16th 2006 11:07 pm
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...and thankfully I am not wearing a sombrero.

I spent last week at Grammy M's while Robin was on vacation in Mexico. This was both a good and a bad thing. You see, Grammy M understands me like no one else. She gets that when I'm a guest at dinner, I get to eat what everyone else does. If that means ordering broccoli beef instead of kung pao chicken because I'm allergic to poultry, she does it. The walks are longer, the yard is bigger, and I sit on the couch like everyone else. Visiting Grammy's house is cool.

On the down side, it gave Robin a whole week to find something ridiculous for me to wear.

Enough said.

But, I'm back home now, back to dry dog food, back to "four paws on the floor", back to two short walks a day ... but completely free of souvenirs from her trip, which is just how I like it.


Buenos noches, amigos!


My New Year's Resolutions

January 3rd 2006 6:48 pm
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In the grand tradition of self-improvement, I have resolved in 2006 to:

1) Eat more. Oh, how I love to eat.

2) Sleep more. Zzzzzzzz.

3) Stop humping people's legs. hey ... wait a minute. Sometimes that's just what I want to do. Strike that one.

4) Keep squirrels and cats out of my yard. Grrrrr.

5) Figure out how to race across the kitchen floor without slidding uncontrollably into something. This one will be tough.

Best wishes to one and all for a happy, healthy, squirrel-less, collision-free, table-scrap-filled 2006.



My New Favorite Holiday

December 27th 2005 7:16 pm
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Boy, am I tired!

I'm still recovering from the great Ham and Presents Day festivities. Turkey Day used to be my favorite holiday, until I learned there's a family holiday with meat *and* gifts. I got chew toys, treats, squeeker toys, and table scraps. I think this holiday may have come once before, but I was just a little guy and didn't understand its significance. I'm more worldly now. I understand its importance.

I hope you and yours had an equally fulfilling celebration.

Back to hibernating like a little bear...

Luv, Barney B


It was an honor just to be nominated...

December 20th 2005 9:21 pm
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Dear Friends,

Please see the link below to share in my most recent 15 seconds of fame - my gorgeous mug up in lights in Times Square on Friday night!

It was Time Magazine's promo billboard for their Person of the Year issue, which came out on Sunday. That's me on the cover - I was one of many past winners/ potential winners/ "regular people" who got their photo shown. (I think I fell into the "regular person" category?)

I did not win Person of the Year ... at least not this year. My hearty congratulations to Bono and Bill & Melinda Gates, who won for 2005. Good work, Good Samaritans!

I'll have to try again next year.....

Happy Holidays!

Luv, Barney


Poetry of the Dog

December 13th 2005 9:37 pm
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Roses are red
Violets are blue
Keep reading my rhymes
While I chew on your shoe

what do you expect -I'm a dog!


it's mine, all mine!

December 12th 2005 11:19 pm
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It has been a long road to where I'm at today. When I first moved in, there was this crazy idea floated that I would be a downstairs-only dog. As in away from the bedrooms, far fom the closets full of clothing, and no running up and down the stairs like a little freight train gone mad. I had to sleep in the kitchen at night while everyone else was upstairs. Sure, I had warm blankets and a cozy bed, but I was all alone and very sad.

Then I got sick and needed to have someone nearby. So for a week, I had company downstairs, but I guess that couch got old fast, because soon my bed was moved upstairs, and even once I got better, my bed stayed on the second floor.

I got used to playing upstairs, and one day when I was feeling particularly adventurous, I made the discovery of a lifetime! With enough of a head start, I could run really fast and launch myself up onto the big bed. I was smaller then and sometimes I only made it half way up and then slid back down, but I got better at it and soon I was a pro.

I got used to sleeping on the end of the bed. I found that if I fell asleep early in the evening, I'd get to stay there all night. Genius!

But I was not satisfied. I've been inching my way up the bed ever since. And now, a new milestone: The pillow is mine! I have claimed it. I refuse to move. I will sleep right smack on top of this pillow all night. It is my new favorite place. Sure, the middle of the bed was nice, but this is the best - I feel like a king!

And now, dear commoners, it is time for the King to nap before someone boots him back into the doggie bed. You see, it still lurks in the corner over there ... a perpetual reminder of how far your Majesty has come!

Zzzzzzzz Zzzzzzzz Zzzzzzzz

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