December 23rd 2007 8:16 am
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Happy Holidays, my friends. I wanted to inform you all of a delicious new discovery in my life. Balls of Dough. Balls of Dough are what happens to cookies before they're dried out in the big hot box. They may not sound as appealing as Raw Lamb's Esophagus (another winner); but they're surprisingly good, given their tepid name.
Balls of Dough are sweet, chewy and sticky, which encompasses the textures of already chewed bubble gum, rotten garbage and bug guts. They stick to your teeth and the roof of your mouth for long-term enjoyment and are still tasty if you burp them up a few minutes later. Balls of Dough may be the perfect holiday foodstuff. Sometimes, your human will enhance the already tasty Balls of Dough with things like peanut butter, jam or nuts. Even more delicious.
So if you go into your kitchens over the next few days and stand between your human's ridiculously long and ungainly legs, there's a 38% chance that Balls of Dough will fall into your mouth. Another option is to tell your man humans that you have located balls of dough and will disclose the location for a finder's fee payable in Balls of Dough. Good luck, friends, and Merry Christmas.
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