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An Explanation

November 27th 2007 11:08 am
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There has been some speculation regarding my sudden change in breed. Yes, I am now a Bullmastiff, like my good-looking and fearsome pal Thor, aka NoodleNuts, aka Turtle McFarkle, aka Thorzl McNorzle Back Ribs BBQ Sauce. If you compare our facial characteristics, you'll see that we both have mushy wrinkles, liver lips, velvety soft ears and a spooky black mask. We both have meaty necks and chicken-bone legs. We share the same black gums, same flat snorty nose, same moles on either sides of our mugs and same floppy tongue that always seems to fall out. We even share awesome and inappropriate nicknames.

There is one striking difference between us, and that's about 3 feet in height and 140 lbs, give or take. But unlike my handsome and confident friend Thor, aka Stinklestein Poopnuts; I had an unfortunate surgical procedure as a very young puppy which left me free of hangy saggy janglers and stunted my growth. I think that happens to a lot of Bullmastiffs, and they are then categorized as pugs.

So I am going to live up to my fullest potential. Sure, I'm not big and tall enough to soak passing pedestrians when I lift my leg to tinkle, but I can sure try my hardest. I am Mooshu - The Bullmastiff!


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