
April 18th 2007 8:43 am
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1. If I like it, it's mine.
2. If it's in my mouth, it's mine.
3. If I can take it from you, it's mine.
4. If I had it a little while ago, it's mine.
5. If it's mine, it must NEVER appear to be yours in ANY way.
6. If I'm chewing something up, all the pieces are mine.
7. If it just looks like mine, it's mine.
8. If I saw it first, it's mine.
9. If you are playing with something and you put it down, it automatically becomes mine.
10. If it's broken... it's yours. 
December 19th 2006 8:06 pm
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Encourage people to believe in you.
Always remember who's naughty and who's nice.
Don't pout.
It's as much fun to give as it is to receive.
Some days it's okay to feel a little chubby.
Make your presents known.
Always ask for a little bit more than what you really want.
Bright red can make anyone look good.
Wear a wide belt and no one will notice how many pounds you've gained.
If you only show up once a year, everyone will think you're VERY important.
Whenever you're at a loss for words, just say, "HO, HO, HO!" 
July 13th 2006 12:37 pm
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I could walk around the yard barefoot in safety.
My house could be carpeted instead of tiled.
All flat surfaces, clothing, furniture, and cars would be free of hair.
When the doorbell rang, the house wouldn’t sound like a kennel and I could get to the door without wading through a fuzzy body that beats me there every time.
I could sit on the couch the way I wanted, without taking into consideration how much space a fur-baby will need to get comfortable.
I would not have strange presents under my Christmas tree - Dog Bones - Stuffed Animals - nor would I have to explain why I wrap them.
I would not be on a first-name basis with three Veterinarians.
I would still have a Bank Account!
The most used words in my vocabulary would not be: Out, Sit, Down, Come, No, Stay, Off, and LEAVE IT!
My pockets would not contain things like Poop Bags, Treats and an Extra Leash.
I would no longer have to spell the words B-A-L-L, F-R-I-S-B-E-E, or W-A-L-K.
I would not have as many leaves INSIDE my house as outside.
I would not look strangely at people who think having a dog would tie them down.
I'd look forward to spring and the melting of snow instead of dreading mud season.
I would not have to answer the question:: "Why do you have a dog?" from people who will never have the joy in their lives of knowing they are loved unconditionally by something as close to an angel as they will ever get.
If I didn’t have a Dog, how empty my life would be. 
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