It's been almost twenty months since I hugged you, Barn.

Here are just a few things I never want to forget about you, my sweet boy:

* The way you smelled; especially the fur on your cheek & neck (it had the aroma of warm, unbuttered popcorn !) and the inexpressible scent of the bridge of your snout. These smells were such a comfort to me. I'd lie in bed, holding you to me like a teddy bear, our noses almost touching. I'd inhale your exhaled air and vice versa, and we'd fall asleep in this way. Somtimes you'd sigh, or smack your little, black lips.

* The way your small, warm body conformed to my hugs. You weren't stiff and hollow-feeling like some little dogs. You were like a big bean bag, wrapping your furry arms about me and nuzzling into my neck !

* The little bump on the bridge of your snout, where the fur was less thick. Your skin was darker there, and even had a few freckles.

* The way you wriggled and cocked your eyebrows. So expressive ! And those liquid brown eyes ! It's said the eyes are the windows to the soul, and you, Barney, had an almost human degree of depth and sensitivity.

* The tight curls of fur on your "knees", and the soft, straight fur on your chest and belly. Oh- and that belly button !

* Your cute, fluffy paws with the brown nails. Well, not all were brown; one, on the front left paw, was white; the one beside that was half-and-half.

* Your "pompadour" ! I gave you a mohawk, once: blue and yellow. And dyed your tail purple. I thought you looked cool- Vance didn't !

* The way you skipped when you walked - this is the Barney trademark ! Watching you speed ahead when we took our walks, prancing like a child, then looking back to see if I was still coming. Oftentimes you'd even stop so I could catch up !

* Your big-dog bark. No shrill yapping from Barn, no sir ! But you were usually the strong silent type... barking only when we teased you, making you think we were hitting eachother ! You'd voice your concern, then lick us all to make sure we were okay and not angry with you !

* Our games of hide-and-seek. I'd tuck myself entirely under my blanket, and then call you in from the other room. You'd jump up on the bed and begin sniffing and snuffling, trying to get your snout under the blanket. Then you'd start "digging" with your paws. Finally I'd release an edge of the blanket and you'd dive underneath, bathing my face with kisses !

* This ritual hadn't been enacted for a while, since you grew confused, but when you were younger it went like clockwork: you'd finish a meal at your dish, walk lazily to the livingroom, and find a comfy spot to start licking your front paws. A few moments into this act, you'd raise your face and let out a big, unapologetic "BRRRAPP !"

My boy, I still love you every bit as much as when you stood by my side. You're greatly missed.