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Roodle Takes Manhattan

Dewclaws up to you, Mystery Voter

We noticed today that my fourth paw has returned to its rightful place, on my page rating. On behalf of the H./F. Family, I would like to thank you, Mystery Voter, and commend you on your clearly excellent taste. May all your bones be big and your kibble be tasty.

Livin' Large,

Chance

Festivus Tree. It's what's for dinner.

About a week ago, Mom came home with, in addition to the usual giant bookbag on her back, a large amount of funny-smelling green stuff over her arm. Apparently this time of year, some humans go outside, kill trees, and bring them and various sculpted versions of their branches inside,so they can water them and try to keep them alive for another month. Yeah. I don't get it either.

The upside to this is the snacking potential of the tree. After we barked at it for twenty minutes or so, and decided it was not going to make any further sudden moves, we decided to investigate. Mom was trying to make the tree stand up (again, would have been easy enough if it had just been left outside, but whatever), so our investigation seemed inopportune to her. Or judging from the words used during the investigation, it was a bad time.

Anyway, eventually, the arfing thing stood up, minus one of the three plastic prongs on the stand that was "just $10 extra" and which proceeded to break as soon as she tried to use it. Mom was never good at physics (and by "never good," we mean "if her physics teacher used reasonable grading methods, which he mercifully did not, that B she got would have been much lower and also more reflective of actual ability."). But we digress. She got the tree to balance and once it did, there were many, many green things all over the floor. And you know what? They were delicious. Tangy. Fresh. Different. I recommend them highly.

Amazingly, we even managed not to barf even after a hearty snack. We also managed not to bark at the tree anymore. (Why we would bark at the tree is unclear - we have had a mouse living with us for a month who basically cooks dinner, cleans the kitchen and generally hangs out - brazen little arfer for sure - and we pay him...virtually no mind. But the four-foot, NY-apt.-sized tree? Danger, Will Robinson.)

So puppalas, we recommend the tree feast to you. And for those of you with non-heathen (or Christian) parents who bring just candles or whatever into the house for the howlidays, we are sorry. But maybe wax tastes good too?

Happy Festivus,

Chance

Out of their barking minds

Mom and Dad have decided that we need a sister. They MUST be kidding. Don't get me wrong - the more huahuas in the world, the better, but in this house? Haven't we aptly demonstrated that we are plenty? Are they trying to drive themselves nuts?

The saving grace to all this is that it probably won't happen very soon because they are extremely specific in their demands, much like me. They want a very, very small female chihuahua with primarily blue coloring. If I weren't colorblind, I might think this sounded great. Anyway, it appears that this mythical beast is rather difficult to find, so at least it may be a long time before she actually shows up.

I don't know though. I am not all too sure Captain and I want to share our house with anyone else. We barely tolerate Dad sometimes. But maybe it would be good to have a lady around the house. She might keep Captain and me in line. I doubt it, but you never know.

Ambivalently yours and worried about cooties,

Chance