Am So Not On Board The Bandwagon

Have been hearing all about the change that's coming.
Don't know much about pawlitics.
But do know it's a very sad time in America when the masses elect a person who could not even get a clearance to work for the Government to be in charge of the Government. Someone who associates with questionable characters and attends a church who's pastor is so anti-American. The people have elected a person who intends to penalize those hard working Joe the Plumbers who've believed in the capatilist principal that every American has always had available to them.
Also think it's very sad that mainstream media does the American people a disservice by reporting such biased news.
Yup... It's a sad day when Peggy the Mooch beats out Joe the Plumber. But guess that's where America is at. So I guess I'd better hunker down & get used to spreading the Pupperonis.

Dry Spell

Haven't caught a bunny, lizzy or rat in forever...
It's not like I haven't had the chance either.

A bunny was caught in my yard for months and I just couldn't seem to get it done. He'd been burrowing in the tortoise den. He'd intermittently pop out to eat the tortoise food and I'd see him hopping about my yard. Bunny had spent most of his life in my yard. After dad finally trapped him and set him free just outside the yard, think both the bunny & me felt a bit of nostalgia. He ran back & forth against the outside of our fence and I ran back & forth along the inside until the bunny'd figured out he was actually out of the yard. At which point I watched him hop off into the wide open desert.

Almost caught a lizzy the other day. Almost. Grabbed him by the tail and was just about to fling him across the driveway when I realized all I had to fling was a lizard tail. Lizard had separated himself from his tail and had climbed the stucco wall. Saw the tailless lizzy yesterday catching a bug in the flower bed.

Then this morning witnessed a tabby cat hunt down and catch a field mouse. Couldn't believe my eyes or my luck. Once again I was on the wrong side of a 4ft wire fence. Would have killed to chase down that mouse or that tabby cat.

Having the biggest drought ever...

Safety First

O.k.... Just because mum & dad walked away from a high speed head on collision doesn't mean I should have to deal with the latest & greatest safety car carrier. O.k.... Maybe it does.
Mum & I tried it out today on our trip to the Vet. I howled from mile zero until we got to the Vet. Then when I figured out we were at the Vet I ran straight back for the carrier.
Yes... I survived my annual shots. And because of the new car seat I'll be safe on the many trips mum & dad will take me on.

Take Home Message: Please, Please, Please Buckle Yourself Up And Secure Your Dogster Pups Even If It Makes Them Howl A Bit. Noise Is Nothing. Life is Everything.

Think I'm Gonna Kill Myself

Am dead.
I feel dead.
I really could be dead & swear wouldn't know the diff.
Repeated Ball of Stickers Day over & over & over every day of the last week and a half. Just like Ground Hog Day. May as well have been a 7lb. piece of velcro that'd been rolled up & down a mountain of stickers. Dad would let me loose out the gate. And mom would bathe & brush me every single time I'd return.
Yesterday mom cried during my bath. Cried so hard that dad's been forbidden to open the back gate to my beloved Bunny Hill til my next hair appointment.
Life isn't worth living sans Bunny Hill.
May as well off myself.

7lb. Walking Ball of Stickers

O.k... Snake Season is alive & slithering.
Saw my first Red Racer of the year just yesterday. Dad spotted him first and then pointed him out to me. Snake had ribboned himself against the block wall down by the pool house. By the time I'd seen him, he'd coiled himself up and had begun his loud defensive hissing. I took one look at him, a quick look up at dad, then back at Red, back at dad, etc... etc...
Next thing I know dad's sweeping the snake into a plastic basket. Snake's hissing and lunging up & out of the basket. Dad covers the top of the container. We head out, up & over Bunny Hill. We climb through the desert brush and over piles of boulders until dad, me & Red were way far from my yard.
Dad dumps the basket and releases the snake. Red spits one last hiss towards us and swiftly slithers off into the rocks.
I was so proud, pumped up and way too preoccupied with the idea of that snake to notice the extra weight I'd put on since dad & I trekked through the desert. Hardly even had time to catch my breath before I'd realized mom'd scooped me up and had made her first attempt to run a brush unsucessfully through me. Every square inch of my coat was covered in stickers.
Took 1 shampoo, 2 conditioner treatments and 30 minutes of brushing for mom to work them all out. Mom was hissing louder than the snake had.
Would do it all again in a second though. Seriously would endure days of grooming for dad to score another snake.

Huge Image

Objects in the mirror appear much smaller than their actual size.
It's true.
Am convinced my actual size is like 10ft tall rather than the rumored statuesque 10 inches.
Saw Bruce IV (neighbor rotweiler who's like 100x me sans the mirror) this morning while on my walk. Spotted him down the street from his house. Mom's all "there's Brucey Boo!" I charged straight for him. He stood completely still. As soon as I reached him, I ran around him like 1/2 dozen times & then lunged toward him. He cowered & immediately took off back towards his place. And I raced right after him. Chased him two blocks down the street & up his drive.
Have same effect on Romeo kitty (who's like 3x my size without the mirror) when I catch him in my yard.
Mirrors must be like opposite of appearing on TV...

Abstract Expressionist

Last thing last night mom gave me a Greenie.
First thing this morning Greenie'd gone right through me.
Had just come back into mom's dressing room and was waiting for her to gear up for our morning hike. Looked straight up at mom with the biggest goofiest Odie style smile on my face, sat right down on her white shag throw rug and dragged my butt across it. Left a pine green stripe right down the middle of her stark white rug. Quit frankly... it was beautiful.
Am an artist really. Feel like Pollock. Could just create, create, create by throwing my random colors on a carpet canvas.
Still cannot understand why mom threw that rug right into the washer.
Am a talent wasted.
Plus, I really thought it'd be cool to have some hipster green shag carpet.
Mom's such a downer. She so doesn't appreciate such talent.

Feather Frenzy

Was the night before last... Just after the full moon had been eclipsed. About the time mom & I began our evening routine (Involves dad in the front room with the clicker watching some engineering show. And mom slipping into the bedroom with a great magazine. I usually follow mom back cause she's got Boo treats stashed in her nighstand.).
At any rate, mom & I had just started to snuggle in when we heard the wwwwhhhaaaaaaAAACCKK on the bedroom window.
I drop the cookie mom had just handed me and let out my "grrrrrrr-woof!" Mom pops her head up from her Vanity Fair.
We walk over to the french doors while listening to rustling against the side of the house just below the window where the whack was.
Mom cracks the door open. Then yells "Get the kitty Boo!" (Neighbor Kitty, Romeo, had been hunting quail who were nesting in the palms ouside our bedroom.)
I bolt out & to the right. Belted out a "Rrrrrrrraaaaaahhhh!" Turned in a full circle, raced off to the left across the grass, right on the kitty's tail until he scaled the ash tree. Romeo clung to the trunk about 8 feet above me.
Mom, who'd been following us both in her jammies & UGGs, scooped me up & lifted me just out of Romeo's swatting range.
Romeo flings himself onto the ground from the tree about 20 feet away. Mom lowers me down to the ground. Romeo takes off around the west side of the house. I race after him around to the front side of the house, across the drive and to the fence where Romeo bounds up & over into his yard.
I immediately return to the original scene of Romeo's crime. Where I sniffed every square foot of the upper planter studying & analyzing that Romeo's doings.
Meanwhile mom spent the same 10-15 minutes holloring & whistling for me from the front of the house, down the drive, back around the west side of the house, around the front again, over by the fence and finally back around the east side of the house where she'd found me.

Am hoping mom is willing to get the sleeping bags out & camp out on the back porch. I just know that Romeo Kitty will be back eventually. And when he does return.. I'll be there to foil his feathered plan.

Good Boo Hunting

Caught & killed a lizard the other day.
Took me nearly two seconds to catch, clamp down on and shake that lizzy lifeless.
Found him on the sunny side of a boulder I'd been bounding off of on the south side of Bunny Hill.
Had the most prideful look on my face and sparkle in my eyes. Right up to the moment dad pointed out that it was 30 degrees outside and the poor cold blooded creature may as well have been an inanimate squeaky toy.
Like I would know...

Harey Experience

In all my 3 year bunny chasing experience, I'd never witnessed the phenomenon I saw yesterday. Never.
Was up on Bunny Hill bounding from rock to rock. Was cruising by and through various rodent dens. Had just popped my head out from one when I paused to scan the horizon. Took a look to the left, then to the right and gradually back to the left again when out of nowhere the bunny who's hole I'd been blocking had returned to his home. He'd hopped right up & into me. He froze in complete surprise at the sight of me. And I froze in complete surprise at the sight of him.
Took me about 2 seconds to begin letting out my high pitched bunny chasing "YIP, YIP, YIP!" Bunny dashed to the left. And I took off right after him. I was on that cotton tail across, down, over and half way back up Bunny Hill before he narrowly escaped into an abandoned burrow that was at the base of another pile of boulders.
Spent most of the rest of the afternoon inspecting, digging into & around and sniffing for another chance of a lifetime.