Over A Year

It's been a while since I last pawed out a diary entry. I think it's 'cause I've been chasing snakes so much lately. Mum says I should "Back away from the baaaaad snakey!" But I can't hear her. I can't hear anything once I'm chasing anything. And since this desert I live in hasn't had any rain in a few years hardly nothing's alive to chase except the baaaaad snakeys. Humph...

Bully Boo

When I was a pup I was afraid of big dogs. I'd run the other way or pat at mum's legs until she picked me up or hunker down submissively in hopes of not being eaten.  Now... Big dogs are my bitches. 

This morning I charged the sweet rescue black lab mix again. Took black lab mix's two owners blocking me and mum pulling me away before I made really loud snarly sounds at the heels of black lab mix. I'm not my fault though. I'm mum & dad's fault. They never really disciplined me as a pup. Or as dad says "I shoulda beat her when she was growing up." All I know is it's a good thing mum & dad don't have anything more than me cause if they'd had kids without fur they'd be the parents of spoiled losers that never graduate high school, can't keep even the most menial of jobs and end up moved back in with them at 45yrs old, which is ironically my dog year age. Ha Ha Ha. Yup... Sure is a good thing all mum & dad got is little 'ol outta control  me. Woof! :-)

March Madness

There were a lot of folks & pups on the trail today. Can't hardly blame them. It's March and it was 70 degrees. Thing is... It's my trail. (Or at least I think so.)

Anyway mum, dad & me were heading south and winding thru the rocks & brush when I spotted a very nice gentleman wearing horn rimmed glasses, Levi's, checkered shirt, hiking boots & a fishing vest. Shortly after I noticed that the very nice gentleman was being accompanied by his Rhodesian Ridgeback and Pointer. I sped down the trail towards them. I could hear mum & dad jogging along after me & hollering something. But I'm a terrier and terriers have selective hearing when they're focused. The only thing I heard when my hearing did pick up dad's voice was dad hollering to the nice gentlemen "Hey! Are your dogs friendly?!" Nice man yells back "Oh yea!" It was at that point the Rhodesian passed me and the Pointer was starting to go by me when I snarled, growled, snapped & lunged at the Pointer's back leg as it passed me. Then I heard mom yell "Sorry! Our dog isn't friendly!"


Disclaimer: No Rhodesians or Pointers were harmed from my shenanigans written about in this diary entry. Woof!

Dog Flu

Mum's got the flu. So she's been camped out on the family room floor for the last two days. And because I am mum's best friend I have been right there on the floor with her. Am thinking she's got that bird flu cause I chased 1/2 dozen Quail out of the garage the night before mum got sick. And I'm not barfing up biscuits so I know it's not the dog flu.

Yesterday morning dad stayed home from the gym to walk me since mum had taken ill. I don't know why. I walk with mum. I walk with mum & dad. But it's not normal to walk with just dad. When it came time to go I hunkered down so tight into mum's floor bed that dad had to pry me up to get me outside. I ran back inside through my door and dove into mum's pile of comforters. Dad gathered me up again, carried me down the driveway and out our gate. He set me down. I sat there. He toted me to the corner of our street and put me down. I sat there. So dad picked me up, carried me 1/2 way down the next street and set me down. I sat there. It wasn't until, while being perched in dad's arms, I spotted a bunny at the head of our hiking trail that I forgot all about my mum and would walk with dad. Turns out walking with dad ain't so bad. Dad's a way better bunny spotter than mum. :-)

If mum could attach a picture to this Dogster Diary of the Day entry it would be a real time shot of me, her loyal little BFF, curled up atop her and our floor bed. Woof!

Yahowl

Overheard dad telling mum that "Yahoo suggests for a good night's sleep not letting Fido sleep with you."

Am just gonna woof that Yahoo needs to get a dog cause if you love your dog you can't sleep without them.

Love,
H

Upchuck Pup

I puked today. No one can tell though...

Dad's text to mum "Dog has puke breath" (So I kissed dad)
Mum texted back "Is there a pile of puke on any of the carpets?" (Then I kissed dad again)
Dad called mum "I just stepped in a pile of green grassy dog puke." (Then I kissed dad)
Could hear mum on speaker phone "Poor Boo" (So I kissed dad again)
Dad "She's got the worst puke breath ever. You're gonna have to brush this dog's teeth." (Then I kissed dad)

Told ya no one could tell I'd puked on the carpet today. Woof! :-)

Putting Down The Pup

I attacked a Labrador yesterday. WhoTF attacks a Lab? A Yorkshire named Boo. That's who.

Mum thought it was bad when I jumped the Shih Tzu, Cricket, that lives 2 doors down. But now mum's pretty sure the neighborhood has a petition to have me put down.

I'm so mean...

Marking at Neiman Marcus

Was in Neiman today & some random shopper approached me & says to mum & dad "OMG! Your dog looks just like my dog." Dad says "Where is your dog?" Lady "It's really quite tragic. When he was 2 he got hit by a car. He survived that w/just a broken spine. I guess that's maybe when his seizures started too. At 3 he choked on a treat. But we saved him w/Heimlich Manuever. At 8 he drowned. But we fished him out of the pool & did CPR. He was great for years until I lost him once after we moved from Jersey. But we rescued him from Animal Control just moments before somebody that worked there adopted him. It wasn't until he was 16 that he wandered up into the hills in Tahoe & disappeared. We're sure it was a coyote that finally got him." Big tears welled up in her eyes & she says "Ha ha ha. It was like he had 9 lives." Mum & dad snatched me up & walked swiftly in the opposite direction of the random shopper. Dad "WTF? She didn't know to watch the dog after she let him bolt into the street & get hit by a car? OMG..."

Crappy Key

We were staying at one of my fav hotels. (The one w/tons of bunnies on the golf course.) It was 4-something a.m. & I had to potty. I scratched on the door. Mum popped out of bed & threw on her sweat pants, jacket, flip flops, glasses, ball cap, blah blah blah and grabbed a room key. As soon as we got out of the room I saw a couple rolling their suitcases down the hall. So I barked & bolted after them. Mum rounded me up & we got down to the edge of golf course where I peed. Then I ran after a bunny. Just after the bunny dove into an oleander I realized I had to poo too. I was mid-poo on the golf course, with the lawn boy staring & another guest w/a cigarette in his hand looking down from his room, when mum realized she hadn't grabbed a poo bag. Next thing I know mum's scooping up my poo w/the room key & then gingerly balancing the poo on the key until we reached the nearest trash can. Mum whacked the poo into the trash, wiped the key on the grass, looked down at me & said "Don't judge me. I did what I had to do." When we got back to our room mum opened the door w/the key & we went back to bed. :-)

Close Call

I just wanna woof that I almost lost my life today. Yup. Was a near Rainbow Bridge moment. Mum let me slip off the quad whilst on our ride through the desert this afternoon. I know. Right? Maybe it's really the fault of that motorcycle repair guy that probably added a little extra Amor All on the gas tank cause I'd nipped at his shoes when he dropped off mum's quad. Whatever... I still believe that it's only by the grace of daddy reminding mum to put my bungie safety vest on that I am here to paw out this diary entry tonight. Mum & that motorcycle repair guy are lucky that I'm not a grudge holder. :-)