Crab

Nay, I'll be sworn, I have sat in the
stocks for puddings he hath stolen, otherwise he had
been executed; I have stood on the pillory for geese
he hath killed, otherwise he had suffered for't.
Thou thinkest not of this now. Nay, I remember the
trick you served me when I took my leave of Madam
Silvia: did not I bid thee still mark me and do as I
do? when didst thou see me heave up my leg and make
water against a gentlewoman's farthingale? didst
thou ever see me do such a trick?

history

So, Man says to the cat, Cat, I need you to eat these animals that are trying to eat my food, can you do this? And the Cat says, yes, but do not touch me. I will eat them.
So, Man says to the horse, Horse, can I get on your back and ride you, and maybe have you haul stuff for me? And the Horse says, OK, but give me that orange pointy thing in your pocket, and find me some white cubes.


So, Man says to the dog, Dog, I am lonely. Can you stay with me and keep me company? Sleep with me when I am sad? And the Dog said?
Yes.

Chupacabra

This thing they found is not me, I have never been to Texas, stop writing me about it. I am not the Chupacabra. I even had to look it up to see how it was spelled. No more questions, please.

Nose

My nose is kind of hurting. Now, when I go out for my furtan, my Dad puts white creame on my nose. It seems to help. Not sure why.

Thumb

My birthday present, as usual, is some medical procedure. And late at that. I have to have my extra thumb removed this week. It was last week, but it was postponed. This, and Dad is trying to get me to be friendly to other dogs this week. Jeez, I just want to bite them a little. I am a Parisian Mastiff, and we never back down. Just so you know.

Bed

My Dad does not know it yet, but the door to his bedroom is broken, and I sneek in there every day while he is gone, and sleep on his bed! Heheheheh. He is really too dumb to know. The bliss on the big bed will continue. Hopefully, he does not read my blog.

Poison

I was bored yesterday, and no one was really doing anything, so I ate some poison. I did not know it was, but that is what they all called it. Well, that got everyone going. Jeez! Dad made me drink this stuff, and then some water and I felt really sick and foamy then. Foamy inside. I had to go barf in the yard. Such a waste of good food. I tried to eat it back up. Then the nice lady called and said I needed to have some milk and eggsies. Now I like that lady, milk and eggs are my new favorite thing in the world. Man, I think I will eat poison every day if that is what I get. Just not the first part, the foamy part is not good.

Pete

After Chewbacca, my favorite movie character is Peter Clemenza. He is very bulldog-like. Leave the gun, take the cannolis. Mikey, why don't you tell that nice girl you love her? I love you with all-a my heart, if I don't see-a you again soon, I'm-a gonna die... Learn sumpin'. You never know, you might have to cook for 20 guys some day!
Did you see him huffin when he shot the guys in the elevator. I am like that after going up the stairs, but I am ready for action, just like Pete. I just need a smaller shotgun in the box.
By the way, Dad, get some cannolis on the way home, and don't hit the kids backing out.

Lilly

Lilly, stop following me! You are going to get lost. I wish your mean owners would keep a better eye on you. You are just a small pug. Cars cannot see you. I want to play too, but you need to stay in your yard and not follow me home.

Smallest

Even though I am the smallest dog, I can do it. Don't you worry.