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Dobber , I miss you and I will always love you

Dobber's Last Day

January 29th 2006 , I came home and saw that Dobber hadn't moved from the spot he was in when I left . I asked him if he wanted to go potty and he lifted his head but couldn't get up . I grabbed the sling and slid it under him and lifted to give him some help to get outside . I quickly realised that Dobber couldn't move , I got some towels , and some bedding , and tried to make Dobber as comfortable as possible , then told him it was ok, he can potty on the towels , I would clean it up and clean him up after .
I hooked up his 'Sub-Q Fluids' and proceded to set him at a medium drip . I called my Vet. at home and told her what was happening , she gave me all the help she could ......but it was time.......Even though Dobber's mind, heart and soul was just as strong as a young dog , his body had given up .
I slept downstairs next to Dobber Sunday night. I offered him Water , and Steak and Bacon , anything he wanted, he could have anything .....But Dobber didn't wan't anything . My Vet. came to the house around 11:30 am Monday morning , she checked him over to make sure we had really run out of options... we did . She was in know hurry , (I'd like to mention that this was her day off also) she gave me all the time I needed before giving him the first shot , the one that relaxes him . Then gave me more time to say goodbye to my baby boy . A few minutes later , as I held Dobber in my arms telling him how much he means to me , how much he will always mean to me , she gave him the final shot . As I heard her say "There he go's " it was everything I could do to hold it togeather , I wanted to tell her to stop , reverse this ! Bring him back ! I can't let him go yet , please bring him back ! But I knew she couldn't , and I knew it was his time , but the conflict going on inside my head was like a volcano going off . Dobber had some twiching nerves for a while after in his neck and his muzzle , they looked as if he was still breathing , and all comon sense turns into desperation as I asked if he wasn't gone , it looks like he is breathing . My Vet. said it was a release of energy from his nerves . She gave me plenty of time with him before she took him away , as we exchanged story's of Dobber's life and what a wonderful friend he was . Then she took him to be cremated .
I have had several dog's before Dobber , and I loved them all , but they were dog's . Dobber taught me that they are so much more , that they deserve respect and compassion among other things . I had Dobber for almost half of my life and now I have to continue without him.... There is a hole inside me now , it hurts , the feeling's of loss .... It's disorienting .
Dobber , I hope you are at peace now , that you are happy and there is no more pain . I hope that we will meet again some how , someday . I know that you were put into my life for a reason and I cherrish the time we had , it was fifteen years , and though it seem's like a long time , now it seem's as if it passed all too quickly . I hope I made you a wonderful life and that you didn't want for much , I tried to give you everything I could but all you probably wanted was just to be with me . You were the best friend anyone could ever have and I was the lucky person that you choose to give your love to . I appreciate every day , every second that we had togeather and hope that someday we will have more . Dobber I miss you , and I love you so very much. Your such a good boy, Goodbye Dobber Dog , Goodbye Baby Boy .