We hounds (Maebe and myself) have been working very hard to develop superpowers. We weren't born with any (other than all the usual superpowers that all dogs have and that humans don't appreciate, like being able to sniff out dead things from the tops of tall buildings and all that) so we have gone to extremes to get some. Superpowers, that is.
I tried to get lasers attached to my feet. I could lift a paw and shoot them!! Pew! Pew! No joy. I went to the vet for laser treatment and all they did was shine a light on my toe. Not at all what I had in mind. Sure it made the little ouchy spot there feel better but "Captain Arthritis" is the lousiest superhero name ever. Very disappointing.
Maebe, however, really went over the top. I think she must have watched too many versions of Spiderman. She actually went to the vet to get radiation. I'm not sure what she was hoping to gain by that...X ray vision, maybe? Holy moly, do you think she can see me naked? I never trusted that dog. Who knows what she's thinking. Maybe she'll tell you.
Until then, I rely on my regular (but still super) powers: Super Guapo!
Springtime in Arizona brings weather that we used to call summer everywhere else I’ve lived. Upside: lots of interesting things to sniff. Lizards! Weeds! Sidewalk food: Nilla wafers! Downside: HOT! Spring (being hot-tempered and all) begged and begged and finally the bosses caved and bought her an ool. (You know, no “p” in it) It’s pretty small for swimming but makes a great water dish. Except, of course, for the terrier sitting in it. Terrier stew isn’t my favorite but I like to play a little game with every water dish I’ve ever had: see if I can drink it all. Leave the terrierist high and dry. Ha! Let’s see if she can keep her cool then.
Our new digs in Arizona are just around the corner from an In-N-Out Burger. Also right around the corner from a Panda Express, Chick-Fil-A, and other tasty-smelling places, but it’s the In-N-Out that gets my attention. When the breeze is just right you can smell it from my backyard. Combine that with the fact that the bosses like a good burger and I smell a recipe for Whigle Joy! The bosses had never tried an In-N-Out before moving here so they were as eager as I was to give it a go. And since we live within walking distance, why not make a pack outing of it? Great idea, says me.
We all leash up and walk over to the In-N-Out. It’s a beautiful day! The air smells of grilled meat and onions. I might just be the happiest dog on the planet. The Boss Man goes in to place our order (I ordered a Double Double). The Boss Ma’am looks for somewhere we can sit. Hm. There are two outdoor seating areas, one by the drive-through where a group of young men are sitting, feeding the pigeons. Next to us…wait a minute! Pigeons! I love pigeons!! Let’s go see the pigeons!! We can’t go see the pigeons? We should bark at the pigeons!! Barkbarkbarkbarkbark!!
And that’s pretty much how that went. So we go to sit at the tables next to us where an older couple is sitting and the lady is giving us the stink-eye. Really? You’re eating burgers at a fast food joint that’s basically in a mall parking lot. What kind of ambiance did you expect? I think I’m livening it up a bit, myself. So we sit. And guess what?? The pigeons come to us!! So now the bosses are trying to eat and all three of us are pulling to get at the pigeons. The Boss Ma’am has the (admittedly good) idea to give us food to distract us. This earns her more eye-stinkin’ from the lady at the table next to us. But soon the Ma’am is out of burger to share (they evidently forgot my order) and is trying to distract me with fries. No contest. I’m not a big fan of fries and I’ll take a pigeon any day. Barkbarkbarkbark!!
Finally the bosses give up on the meal. They gather what’s left to throw it away when Spring notices there are pigeons in the parking lot too! And since the bosses are a little distracted, what with their hands full of trash and me and Maebe pulling in one direction and Spring in another…Spring makes a break for it. She tears off into the parking lot (just a few feet from two busy streets) chasing a pigeon. The pigeon flies off and she stops. The Boss Man dashes after her. Another pigeon lands and she is off again. This is as hilarious as it sounds and could probably go on forever but a very nice lady with quick reflexes grabs Spring’s leash and reels her in. (No pigeons were harmed in this incident.)
The bosses are horrified. Mortified. Embarrassed beyond description. Me, I’m having a grand old time! Burgers! Pigeons! Bird chases! Let’s do it again! Today! Tomorrow! Every day! What fun! But the bosses say no. Never. They say we are banned for life. (Although I never actually saw anyone from management say so…I think they might be making that up.) They say that someday when they look back on it and think, it wasn’t so bad, maybe we can go for burgers again, that they will tell themselves, Never Again.
No more burgers is a tragedy, but not as bad as it could be. We can go to Chick-Fil-A!!