Divine Retribution

*snort!*
*giggle!*
*snort!*
Ooooops, so sorry! I can't help but laugh at the little thing I like to call "That'll learn ya to "cheat" on Stormie Basenji, Mom!"

I heard Mom's car pull into the driveway after work like usual. Like usual, we housebound creatures got ignored and she headed straight to check on the ducks and feral kitties in the back yard. As she was reaching down to pet Boo Kitty (the only cat insane enough to let Mom anywhere near it!) when all of a sudden she felt something plop on her thigh. She thought it was a bug, and kind of tweaked out for a minute. She went to shoo it off with her hand, and (*giggle, giggle SNORT!*), it was BIRD POOP!!!! ON HER BARE THIGH!!!!!!!!!!! You all should've seen the look of disgust on her face as she realized what it was on her hand and leg! (*SNORT!*) That's what she gets for cheating on me and visiting those filthy outside critters before me...errrrrr, I mean US house critters!

Karma - it bites ya in the butt ALMOST as hard a basenji can! ;)
-Stormie

Country Living

...not to be confuzzled wiff Marfa Stewart or any other of those crappy magazines Momma drags home when she stands too long in the check-out lines at the grocery store!

The other week-end was pretty typical. The stoopid neighbors and their stoopid dog were up. It was a fairly noisy day in Stormie's 'hood. So imagine my surprise at about 6:00 PM on a Sunday when I walked Momma around the corner and we saw a 250 lb. black bear lumbering our way!!! We were about 15 feet away from the beast. I could feel it's breath on my neck ...***STORMIE! You could NOT feel it's breath! Stop fibbing!***.... Oh, alright - so I didn't feel it's breath, but I could smell it! I went NUTZ! My hackles went straight up! I went rigid, and stiff as a board! I was ready to attack and defend my Momma wiff every ounce of my being! Instead, the crazy Momma reaches down (after nearly peeing her pants from fright!), picks me up (all 45 lbs. of me) and drags me inside. Meanwhile, the bear exited through the weeds and across the river to the mountain on the other side. The only trace I've seen from him since was on Wednesday evening. It was a BIG pile of bear poop which I nearly rolled in! Too bad Momma stopped me *sigh*! She ruins all my fun!! *grumble, growl, grumble!* Those cherry pits all through it looked like so much fun and maybe they'd have massaged my back a little in the roll process???? Humph! Now I'll never know! To get even, I found a not quite so big pile of duck doody to roll in when she wasn't paying attention...revenge is sweet, even if it's smaller than I would have liked!

Doctor and Patient confidentiality - broken!

My dear friend Dr. Talker has some concerns he addressed to me in a P-mail. I must share his words of wisdom for my fellow Dogsters to learn from:


:==: :==: :==: :==: :==: :==: :==: :==: :==: :==:
Previous Woof Sent: 06/26/08 3:27 pm
Woofed From: Talker
Woofed To: Stormie
Subject: Your Diary

Dear Stormie,
I just happened to be reading up on some of my former patients and I came across your diary entry.

I think it's wonderful that you're able to express your feelings so easily and that you hold nothing back. I totally feel your neglect during the time your mother was on vacation and I sensed that you've not gotten over the fact that she left you and you feel the need to punish her for her actions. Stormie, her vacation was over a month ago.

I'm a little concern that you're still harboring these feeling and allowing them to seep into your diary for the world to see.

Granted...your mother did visit my house. But I did really try to keep a polite distance from her so that you wouldn't get jealous but it was hard. I liked leaning into her on the couch. I was only trying to comfort her because she was missing you so much.

I won't even get into banners behavior.

In any case, I'm feeling that perhaps you need to get more off your chest in order for you to move forward with your relationship with your mother. I do understand that those ducklings might be taking your mother away once again, but in reality, she's still there with you and she is still caring for you. Nothing has changed.

Perhaps you should try wearing a duck costume in order to get closer to your mother. Quack like a duck and you'll be a duck. That's what I've always said. BTW, Banners! feels that you are holding out on her with the ducks. She thinks there are more ducks living with you than you are letting on. But that's another story.

Anyway, try to the duck suit.

Dr. Talker


And my response:

Dear Dr. Talker,

You, my friend, are a PURE-D GENIUS! BONE-A-FIDE, even! If I wear that duck costume, I won't even do it to gain attention - I'll do it to gain access to those little quackers and get me some Duck Fricasse!!!! Oh it's a glorious plan, Dr. Talker!! Glorious, glorious, glorious!!! Do you think Target is selling their Halloween costumes yet? Hmmmmmmmm....maybe I'll steal Mom's plastic card out of her wallet and shop online tomorrow while she's working, or tonight when she goes out to take care of the "babies" (pffffffffffffffffft! I'M THE BABY!) again!

Do you really think Banners! thinks I'm holding out? I wonder if Mom is telling me fibs that there are only 4.....I'll bet she's in cahoots wiff Probst and got HERSELF a MILLION DUCKS! The nerve of her! To go on vakayshun and then to get a million ducks and NOT TELL ME!!! She is in so much trouble it's unbarooable! This is some serious snuggle strike, and no more drying her off after a shower! Oh no! I will not subject my tongue to that acid water on her legs any longer! She's doomed, I say!!! Ask Banners! if I can borrow the BanCam to spy on Musher and the ducks!

Oh and Dr. T.? I totally understand leaning on Mom on the sofa - she's a good pillow, and a good scritcher - I trained her well, didn't I?! And do you think she really missed me? *sniffle* Even if she did, it wasn't as much as I missed her!

Thanks for the advice, Dr. T.! You're sure to be nominated for some kind of Pawlizter Prize or sumfing!

Your patient,
Stormie

Long time no bark...or baroooo...or whatever!

So I'm finally speaking to my Momma again since she abandonded me to fly out west to Kalifornia. And did she go to Kalifornia just to sight see or do tourist-y type stuff? Uh, that'd be a BIG FAT negative dear readers. You know WHERE in Kalifornia my Musher went? To visit Banners! and Talker, Keyah and Patan, Rafiki and Kissy, and Marlowe, Apache, and Cheyenne and all their peeps - that's where! Plus she cheated on me wiff many other pups while she was away! I have picture evidence! If she was just going to go away and leave me (oh, poor Fanconi afflicted sick Stormie-Dog! Woah is me!!! So neglected, so neglected!) just to go love on other dogs, why couldn't she just stay home and do it? She has Nik and I here! What are we, chopped liver *droooool* (oh wait I WILL NOT get distracted by thoughts of food, dog gone it!)??????? I mean, honest to Dog! She left me for a week so she could fly the whole way across the country to love and adore other dogs - HUMPH! But, who's a bitter pup? Not I! ;o)
I must say that she must've had a real nice time, though and she loved, loved, loved all our Dogster pals and peeps (I have EXCELLENT taste in pals, dear readers!), 'cuz she came back feeling relaxed and refreshed and she even brought us toys and treats! Yeah us! But still, I was abandonded - it was awful....*sigh*...so awful I won't even go into the details that she dragged home 4 baby ducklings 2 weeks ago...just what I needed! More stuff to detract from MY ATTENTION!
Wags pals,
Stormie the soggy 'senji

In eleven days it will be 1 year.....

In eleven days it will be 1 year since the strip used to check Stormie's urine changed color. In eleven days, it will be 1 year since my heart broke into a thousand pieces. In eleven days it will be one year since I realized both Storm and I's lives were about to change dramatically. In eleven days it will be 1 year that Stormie's fur was used as a tissue to wipe away my tears. In eleven days it will be 1 year that I was scared out of my wits. In eleven days it will 1 year that I began to learn to live with Fanconi Syndrome and all that goes along with it. In eleven days it will be 1 year that I realized how much I love my dog and how I'm willing to do anything to keep him healthy for as long as I can. In eleven days it will be one year that I realized the importance of friends who can help guide you when all you are is scared to pieces. In eleven days it will be one year since I realized that Fanconi is an evil disease and how grateful I am NOW for the DNA tests to help eradicate from our breed. In eleven days it will be 1 year since I came to realize I am stronger than I thought I was. In eleven days it will be one year since I began to realize just how brave, strong, wonderful, and resiliant our b's are for US, their care takers.
I guess this has turned into a reminder to strip your basenji this month and every month - they'd do it for you.
Momma Lorraine and Stormie Basenji

Mouse-capades

Picture it if you will. Momma was getting ready for work this morning and all of a sudden she heard a commotion coming from the basement stairway. It was the distinct sound of a growling kitty. Growling kitty, aka Sooty Le Bleu, came racing into the kitchen looking as feral as he ever has. He was being tailed by Sneaks. There was some confusion as Nik and I had to investigate what was causing all the hulabaloo and Momma was trying to intervene. It turns out Sooty had a big ol' mouser in his mouth! Oh how I wanted to steal that tasty morsel from him!!! I was so excited thinking maybe this was the latest diet Momma had created for us pets - a catch your own buffet of sorts. Unfortunately this was not the case. She had to put on heavy duty gardening gloves to pry open Sooty's mouth and pry the mouser out of it, all the while, with a growling, snarling issuing from the fluffy, gray hunter! He put up quite a fight, but Momma perservered and got the mouser. She quite shocked to see the mouser was still alive and kicking after all that raucous. She released it in the seasonal neighbor's yard (shhhhhhhhhhh!!!! bol!), and it took off for it's twitchy whiskered life. I just wish with all my might that I had been the mouse catcher this morning! My breakfast was awfully measley and pitiful compared to a fresh kill!
-Stormie the mouse hunter wannabe

Tripett PART II!

Oh my DOGS! The most amazing thing just happened, y'all!
I no sooner got done pawing out my love of the Tripett when there was a beep from the driveway!
The mail lady was here!
Guess what was delivered to me?
TRIPETT!
In 3 different flavors, no less!
I'll be delighting in green beef, duck, and salmon tripe, green lamb tripe, AND beef tripe!
All thanks to my Auntie Lynn and nephew Apache!!!
(Apache, I still can't believe you don't dig this stuff like I do!!!)
Thank-you, thank-you, thank-you Auntie Lynn and MAC!
I'll be eating like a Dog for a long time!
M'mmmmmmmmmmm!
Tripe! It's what's for dinner!

-Stormie - happy dancing knowing Tripett is on tonight's menu!

How to make your Momma turn green, literally

As many of you know, I have Fanconi Syndrome. What this means is that I have to take lots of pills everyday to keep me healthy. So I'm a presnicketty kinda boy. I get tired of the same ol' cream cheese balls, baby food meats, etc. Momma is always on the look -out for new things to tempt my taste buds. Enter green beef tripe. M'mmmmmmmmmm! I love Tripett! Momma? Not so much! I watch with humor as she spoons out small portions and wraps my pills in them one at a time. Have I mentioned I take nearly 20 pills a day? Yeah I do - that's a lot of wrapping Mom's gotta do. I watch with humor sparkling in my eyes as Mom's face turns a very lovely shade of green. This is a precursor to the drool and wretching sounds she makes as her gag reflex works over time. All the while, I'm dancing at her feet to hurry her along! Ohhhh do I love my tripe!!!! It's the food of Dogs! Truly it is! I just wish I could eat it everyday - for some reason, Mom isn't complying with my wishes.....

-Stormie, jonesin' the tripe, baby!

Here in this house......

From a BRAT Chat email:



Here in this house......

I will never know the loneliness I hear in the barks of the other dogs 'out there'.
I can sleep soundly, assured that when I wake my world will not have changed.
I will never know hunger, or the fear of not knowing if I'll eat.
I will not shiver in the cold, or grow weary from the heat.
I will feel the sun's heat, and the rain's coolness,
and be allowed to smell all that can reach my nose.
My fur will shine, and never be dirty or matted.

Here in this house...
There will be an effort to communicate with me on my level.
I will be talked to and, even if I don't understand,
I can enjoy the warmth of the words.
I will be given a name so that I may know who I am among many.
My name will be used in joy, and I will love the sound of it!

Here in this house...
I will never be a substitute for anything I am not.
I will never be used to improve peoples' images of themselves.
I will be loved because I am who I am, not someones idea of who I should be.

I will never suffer for someones anger, impatience, or stupidity.
I will be taught all the things I need to know to be loved by all.
If I do not learn my lessons well, they will look to my teacher for blame.

Here in this house...
I can trust arms that hold, hands that touch...
knowing that, no matter what they do, they do it for the good of me.
If I am ill, I will be doctored.
If scared, I will be calmed.
If sad, I will be cheered.
No matter what I look like, I will be considered beautiful and known to be of value.
I will never be cast out because I am too old, too ill, too unruly, or not cute enough.

My life is a responsibility, and not an afterthought.
I will learn that humans can almost, sometimes, be as kind and as fair as dogs.

Here in this house...
I will belong.
I will be home.

(author unknown)

The Best Christmas Present Ever

To Stormie from your Momma-

Little Deet-O Man I just wanted to take this time to tell you how fabulous you are and how much you mean to me. You doing so well on the Fanconi Protocol is the best gift I could have ever asked for. I just love you, Deet - and I want you around to share all my Christmases forever.

Love you!
Momma