I must wear this torture device...

they call it an elizabethan collar. i call it torture.
it's especially hard when i drop a piece of cookie on the floor, and try to pick it up, or when i come around corners or go up stairs.
everyone is avoiding me, including telly.
i feel so sad.
i can't wait until my eye is better. then mommy says i can have this thing off.
i think if the CIA is into torture, they should make their gitmo prisoners wear one of these all day. they'll get all kinds of confessions, guilty or not. anything to get this thing of your head, man!

evil spiders!

dogsters,

where do these giant evil things with numerous legs come from? a large one measuring several inches in diameter breached security so i had to dispatch it.

the evil spider left me something by which to remember him...MY FACE IS NOW SO SWOLLEN!

fortunately, fast-acting mommy popped in 25 mg of diphenhydramine (along with a tasty treat of meatball). i feel better already.

somehow, those spiders don't trigger the impenetrable Fai Gow Force perimeter motion sensors. i think i need to go back to the drawing board on that one!

until next time,
winnie "fai gow" lam

thunder lightning!

lightning thunder everywhere!
gray skies above
cause me a scare!

falling moisture all around!
no relief in sight
o beleaguered hound!

the crate is my friend
with each flash of light
my fervent prayers that this will end!

heatwave and thunder showers

pup pals,
i am so distressed.
first, a horrible heatwave that is making our a/c do overtime. making my walks sticky and unpleasurable.

now, with the humidity, terrible thunder and lightning.

i am going to hide under the bed now.

winnie

I love this new food

Hello, Pup Pals.

I have an announcement to the makers of Timberwolf Dakota Bison: Your food is no longer tasty. I just decided that about three weeks ago, after Mommy bought a brand new bag. She tried selling the stuff to me by adding chicken, broth, etc. etc. but I'd just eat all the good bits and spit out the kibble...

After an agonizing 2 weeks (and further melting of my Fat Armour), Mommy finally gave in and bought us new food. So this time we are eating Wellness Core (venison and rice flavor). It's delicious! (I have to say that the Lam Clan does not work for any dog food making company. All opinions expressed herein are unbiased, and based on Winnie Tummy-ology.) I will even eat it plain, which is unusual because Mommy cooks for us and supplements kibble with homecooked stuff.

Fat Armour is coming back en vogue!!!

the fat stuff keeps coming back

it seem like my whole life i struggle with my weight. valerie bertonelli, i hear ya sister!

i just got my hair trimmed and mommy and daddy were laughing at my "jigglies". mommy was really mad because i'm on low cal, eat less (yes, my meals are rationed!) and yet i am still a jiggly orange pot. mommy is worried i may be cushingoid, but has no evidence for that because my blood tests all came back normal. maybe she should just own up to the fact that i got all the fat genes in the family!

i think of it as my fat armor. it protects me from the winter cold, and provides cushioning for when i tussle with telly. yeah, fat armor.

winnie "fattie girl" lam

thank goodness for dogster

dear dog pals,
if it weren't for dogster, i'd be the loneliest dog in the world. my bossy brother telly has all these friends in the neighborhood: bailey, lola, bella, scooter...he gets to sniff noses and play with them, and i'm stuck at home or far away from them on leash.

mommy says it's because i'm "socially retarded" - i wasn't properly "socialized" to other dogs when i was small. i don't know why i get this overwhelming urge to nip the other dog when i meet somedoggy for the first time. so the only place i can make dog friends is on dogster. except for my lab friend simon, i have no other dog friends.

this summer, mommy is putting me in classes to learn how to get along with other dogs. i hate school. i hope i don't get very much homework. i wonder if chatting with dog friends on dogster counts as credits?

winnie

my favorite time of year

dear pup pals,
this is my favorite time of year. well, next to when grandpa comes to town. for some reason mommy and daddy like making particularly lavish meals, or else they go away for a few hours and come back with yummy food, like roast meats of all kinds and this thing that they call "bread stuffing." tastes better than pillow stuffing, i can tell you that.

there is this plastic tree in the living room now, which telly always thinks about peeing on. so far, it's been a no go. mysteriously, under the tree there are wrapped things, some of which i can tell are toys and food by the smell of it. mommy won't let me get near them for some reason. i know what everything is already, so what's the point of wrapping everything up? wouldn't it be more fun if people buried or hid the gifts, then we all had to find them and dig them up out of the garden?

just a thought.

Winnie

My Tail of Devotion for Winnie Lam

This is a special Tail of Devotion

See All Tails of Devotion

My rapstar alterego

dear friends,

my mommy is sorry to report that my fat armour is not going away anytime soon. yes, grandma is in town, and every night is a feast. things would be much better if grandpa was here, but alas, he is still in hong kong because of business.

so, lately, the family has taken to calling me "heavy G" (G as in "girl") - i feel as though i should take phonetic liberties with this as all rap artists do (case in point: k-os, ludacris...you get the idea). some possibilities:

heh-V-G

hev E.G.

hevee-G

hayVG

perphaps i should conduct a poll?

winnie "heavy G" lam