FALSE ALARM

My dear friends, the last six months have been a very confusing time in my life. One day I am romping with my pals in upstate NY and the next day I am in Pennsylvania. Living in an apartment and not my house.

Mom was very cryptic about the move, she said she “had a new job”.

What they hey? Her answer just didn’t seem logical. She went to work every day. She came home, fed us and played with us just like in NY. It didn’t add up. Something was awry. Something was fishy. All was not right in Denmark. Well…. You get the picture…

It could be only one thing: We were in the Witness Protection Program.

Don’t “Oh Tucker me!”

Just because we weren’t living under assumed names (Mom was still “Mom”, Lulu was still “Lulu”, and I was still “Tucker”), it could have been witness protection.

But alas, I realize that Mom has simply been rehomed. And Lulu and me too.

After months of living in an apartment with no yard, being walked “on leash”, and having to be quiet all the time, Mom has finally taken us to a new house!

Woohoo! Mom can sit in the living room, throw the ball thru the kitchen and into the dining room. Sometimes it bounces and I have to run down the hallway too.

And I can bark again! Well, probably Mom would tell you that I never really gave it up but she is prone to exaggeration anyway….

My new house has a big yard. With trees. No lake but there is a cool creek that we can swim in.

And what is really great is my buddy Sammy lives up the road from us. While we were in transition, Sammy was kind enough to let Lulu and me stay with him and his Mom. We got lots of food and had a blast.

Today I am interviewing a new dog walker. While living in the apartment we had a really nice lady named Tish come and take us for walks every afternoon while Mom was at work. We loved Tish but Mom says Tish lives too far to come and take us for a walk now that we moved to our new house. Our new dog walker will have big shoes to fill, Tish was great!

They key thing I look for in a dog walker is treats. Sure hope he has good treats.

I will keep you posted my friends!

DENIAL

There are those who would describe me as self absorbed. There are those who would describe me as naïve. There are those who would point to me and say “that Tucker, he is so melodramatic”.

But my friends, I say to you today, my life is about to take me on a path I am totally unprepared for.

My Mom has accepted a new job and Lulu and I will be moving with her to some place called Pennsylvania.

Mom has moments when she is excited, and happy, and downright gleeful. Then she morphs in to a madwoman- right before my eyes! Yikes, it ain’t pretty my friends.

We have to sell our house. I love my house. I love my yard. I love the lake. Can’t say I will miss that rude gray kitty next door who spits at me all the time. But this has been my home for as long as I can remember.

I grew up here! Bruce the Moose and I shared many an adventure here. My baby sister Lulu came to live under my guiding paw in this house.

And what about my friends? Charlie, my mentor, lives a short car ride away. I have spent most Mondays and Fridays with him for the last 2 years. My friends rely on me to weasel to the front of the line and make sure the treats being handed out by Charlie’s Grammy are nothing but the highest quality.

And my neighbors? The lakeside will be quiet again once I am gone. Who will bark at Choco the Lab and my dear friend Lehah? Who will alert the entire county that turkeys or deer are in my backyard?

These are important questions my friends.

What is to become of me and Lulu?

APOLOGY LETTER TO SANTA

I am going to assume that “holiday stress” is afflicting my Mom. I, Tucker, made one eensy, teensy, weensy little mistake – well, maybe two…. And Mom just can’t let it go. And according to my Mom, as a result, I’m getting nothing for Christmas.

So I have decided that in advance of Christmas Eve when Santa leaves the North Pole to bring presents to all good dogs around the world, I will write him a heartfelt letter of apology.

The Honorable Mr. Christopher Kringle
Noth Pole

Dear Santa:

Do not believe what my Mom tells you!

It was all a misunderstanding. It was an accident. It could have happened to anyone. She’s overreacting. It wasn’t that bad.

I will admit, in my excitement and exuberance at seeing Santa Clause last Friday at Healthy Pets Store, I accidently stepped on the door lock button and locked Mom out of the car in the parking lot.

It only took the kind gentleman from The American Automobile Association 40 minutes to come and liberate Lulu and me from the car. Forty minutes is a blip in time. Mom did not have all that many things she needed to do with her time just 2 weeks before Christmas. And she should feel a warm sense of holiday spirit that she had to tip the AAA man her last $10. She can be such a miser some days.

As for immediately stepping on the door lock button a second time as soon as the AAA man popped the lock … that too was unintentional. Some people like to blow things out of proportion.

And I bet if you were locked in a car for 40 minutes, you’d probably pee behind the nearest tree too. The fact that this particular tree happened to be a decorated Christmas tree inside the store and had presents around it was purely a coincidence. When you gotta go, you gotta go. I’m sure you understand, Sir.

So Santa, I Tucker, am a humbled Corgi. I hope you will look past my minor indiscretions this holiday season and bring me the many presents I so rightfully deserve.

Very truly yours,

Tucker in upstate New York

WELCOME ART!

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas at our house. Although we only have a dusting of snow there is a distinct chill in the air. Mom has our wreathe on the door, the snowmen are lazing in the Adirondack Chairs on the front porch, and today we welcomed our foster tree.

Here we go again! Mom has once again opened our home to a tree for the holidays. Frankly, I find this a rather sadistic ritual. Bring a tree into the house, keep it warm, dress it up, give it lots of balls to play with… then BAM! Out in the snow on New Years day.

Oh, and it gets worse. Our fosters have some how found their way to the Burn pile and ended up as ashes. Enough said.

So the latest in our line of foster trees is Art Official. Mom said we can call him Mr. Official… Lulu and I will just call him Art.

As it turns out, Art is an older tree. He has some very interesting stories to tell. First, he comes from a land far, far away called Sears.

He has had somewhat of a sad past. He told Lulu the story of his Mom leaving him in a dark old attic when she moved across the country. Well, actually… the movers forgot to pack him. Abandoned, lonely in an attic, he thought things couldn’t get any worse.

One day his Mom realized she had left him behind so she sent the UPS man to get him. Did she call Fed-EX? Did she send him a plane ticket? No! She has him shipped “Ground”. The horror!

Like most trees, Art is rather stoic so we still have a lot to learn about him. So far all we know is he doesn’t drink water and he smells a little dusty.

Art Official is the newest member of our family. I will do my best to make him feel welcome for the holidays and only hope that this year our foster tree meets a much happier end.

SEVEN FUN FACTS

Alright! My pal Baxter Bojangles , who is just as cute as can be by the way….. tagged me with the task of sharing Seven Fun Facts.

So here’s to you my pal!

1) Fresh goose poo looks very much like Greenies

2) Regardless of what your Mom/Dad says…. There indeed is exactly one – and only one – right spot to lift your leg and pee; and YES, the fate of the free world DOES rely on finding that exact spot

3) It’s an “urban legend” that trolls live inside Agility Tunnels; run thru them fast enough and even a Corgi can out run the short legs of a troll anyway

4) As I learned on my vacation in Rhode Island recently, dead crab parts found on the beach taste waaaaay better than lobster

5) Do not confuse the Toll Takers on highways with the employees at McDonald’s Drive thru; no matter how cute you are they do not have hamburgers to give you

6) When your Mom/Dad says “that nasty bee stung you just because you are so sweet”, they are lying. Bees are just plain mean

7) Never eat the yellow snow

CONGRATULATORY CALL TO AL GORE

** (phone rings in background)
TG: Hello, Gore residence, this is Tipper.
T: Hi Mrs. Gore, this is Tucker calling from Upstate NY.
TG: Well, hello Tucker. How are you?
T: I’m great Mrs. Gore, thank you. Is Mr. Gore at home?
TG: Yes he is. He’s polishing his Emmy, let me get him.
** pause….. footsteps
AG: Hello Tucker, this is Al Gore. How nice to hear from you.
T: Mr. Gore, I wanted to call and say congratulations for receiving the Nobel Peace Prize. That is awesome!
AG: Well thank you Tucker. That is very kind of you. Tipper and I are just so humbled and appreciative.
T: Well Mr. Gore, I think it is truly deserved. The state of our planet is a crisis and you have tirelessly worked to raise awareness around the globe.
AG: It is of utmost importance that we respond immediately to this planetary emergency.
T: So have you heard from the White House?
AG: As a matter of fact Tucker, I have. Tipper and I received a nice basket of Lone Star Beer and Barbeque direct from Texas. Fortunately the beer came in recyclable brown bottles. The Barbeque came in Styrofoam.
T: You must be kidding…
AG: That’s the White House for you….
T: My Mom finds it very ironic.
AG: What’s ironic Tucker?
T: She says that on one hand you have the man who should be in the Oval Office receiving the Nobel Peace Prize. On the other hand you have the weasel who actually lost the election, kicking back in the White House and collaborating with a pack of jackals to make the United States the most hated country in the world, start an unnecessary war, and make sure the tax burden is placed anywhere but with the very wealthy. And on top of that…. He sends Styrofoam to Al Gore!
AG: Oh Tucker, I am so over that. That ship has sailed and it is polluting our waters as we speak.
T: You are a bigger man than me, Mr. Gore.
AG: Well Tucker, it is just so nice of you to call. Take care, and remember.... reclaim, reduce, and recycle my friend.
T: You too Mr. Gore. Bye.

WE CAME, WE SAW, WE CONQUERED!

I am very happy to report that Lulu, Mom and I have arrived home safely after our vacation in Rhode Island. As much as I liked the beach and staying in the hotel where I didn’t have to cook and make a bed every day….. wait…. Mom does that… anyway….. - it sure is good to be home.

Besides goofing off, sightseeing, chasing birds, and eating lobster (Mom ate the lobster!) we spent much of our time at the Pembroke Welsh Corgi National Specialty Show. Actually, the Agility Trial was the main reason Mom hauled us out to Rhode Island to begin with.

I am sure it will make the Cover of Sports Illustrated and AKC Family Dog soon… but I am pleased to say I, Tucker, earned my Novice A title in Agility! Woohoo!

I have been practicing and working really hard to train Mom how to run around a field, stay with me as I have fun jumping over bars, running thru tunnels, climbing A Frames and Dog Walks, etc. We did so well that we came home with three green Qualifying rosettes, two blue First Place rosettes, a red Second Place rosette, and a pewter plate! What a haul! Officially, I am now Tee Tucker, CGC, NA. Not sure what that means but Mom sure is proud of me.

I would like to take this opportunity to thank Barb Hoffman and Judy Kazincziuk, my Obedience Instructors who taught me the importance of “Stay”. Mom says I may have come home with two pewter plates and a third First Place blue rosette if I had actually learned what “stay” means….. what -ever!

I also want to thank Trisha Stall, Jeff Boyer, and Melinda Schneider – my patient and wise Agility Instructors who have helped me hone Mom’s skills at running around a field and following my lead.

As always I want to thank my Puppy Sitter Pam Alcid and all my friends at All A-Board Pet Care for keeping me humble – a daunting task if I may say so myself.

And finally I want to thank my baby sister Lulu, the wind beneath my wings… (as well as the pain in my backside most of the time…)!

Soon vacation will be nothing more than leftover sand in the Volvo, a few pictures on the mantel, and more stuff to hang on the doggie wall. So before the memories fade, I would like to share some of the highlights:

1) I have to admit, even though it tastes salty, I do like the ocean. The stuff that washes up on the shore like dead crab parts and seaweed are scrumptious!
2) Lulu and I ate out at two different restaurants in Rhode Island. New York should get its act together and realize dogs make great patrons. You should have seen the tip we left our nice waitress!
3) Tim Horton Lives in Rhode Island! Yes, Mom found a Tim Horton’s and Lulu and I had Tim Bits (or bits of Tim as my pal Rupert would say). Fortunately we survived Mom doing a U-turn and crossing 4 lanes of traffic to get Tim Bits for us! Where are the Rhode Island State Police when you need them!
4) It sure was HOT!!!! Mom turned the hose on me and Lulu several times to keep us cool. Going to the Corgi Nationals was great fun but next time folks, let’s do it somewhere cool!
5) We made new friends from Alaska, Dallas, Michigan, Atlanta, Florida, Vermont, New Jersey, Virginia, and Maryland. Adios and I hope you all arrive home safely!

Our goal at the Nationals was to come home with a PWCCA Rosette for a Qualifying run. We came home with that and much more. As we packed the car I heard Mom say “We came, we saw, we conquered. Now let’s get the hell out of here!”.

It sure is good to be home.

Point Judith

If this is what vacation is all about, I’ll take it! Mom, Lulu, and I had a great day!

We took a back pack – AND ONLY A BACKPACK – and drove to Point Judith. Point Judith is on the coastline. Mom took us to the beach to play in the sand and run in the water. You should have seen all the seagulls and sand pipers. Lulu had a blast herding them and chasing them out over the water.

We met a new buddy too. Also on the beach was a Black Lab named Toby. What a cool guy. He sure did like Lulu. She did “crazy dog run” and Toby tried to chase her. No way could he catch her, she’s really fast when she does “crazy dog run”.

We walked the beach then Mom found a trail that went up over the cliffs. The smells were amazing! I sniffed until I could sniff no more.

Our favorite stick was almost lost at sea. Lulu took it into the water and the under-toad tried to take it. I sure wouldn't mess with that under-toad. Anyway, Mom ran into the water and saved the stick for us. Yeah for Mom!

Mom took us out to lunch. She actually gave us a sliver (and I mean a sliver) of her lobster roll. I don’t know what all the fuss is about…. The dead crabs on the beach sure smell a lot more appetizing to me….

Oh… and on the way home Mom took me and Lulu shopping at a store called The Psychic Kitty. She bought us turkey hearts and they are really yummy. We never did see the psychic kitty…. That might be kind of creepy if you think about it…… a psychic, evil kitty…..

Anyway, it was a great day. Tomorrow we are off to Newport. I think we will go to bed very early tonight. Lulu has already crashed and it’s not even 8:00.

WHAT DID WE FORGET?

Did you ever see the Beverly Hillbillies? When the Clampetts put all their belongings on a truck and “move to Beverly”? Well, I know how they felt. Mom packed soooooooo much stuff for this trip, I’m surprised she had room for me and Lulu! The Clampetts in a Volvo. That’s us.

At least the important things have been located: my food, Lulu’s food, my dish, Lulu’s dish, THE STICK, my bones, my Nylabone, and my blanket. Why we had to look like The Clampetts is beyond me.

Anyway, here I am in Rhode Island. On vacation. Staying at the luxurious Residence Inn. All I can say is “Is this why I took a bath?” Ahhh, just kidding.

Mom took me and Lulu to the park by the ocean. I can’t say I like the smell of the ocean. It doesn’t smell fishy like the lake. Not sure exactly what it smells like.

Lulu and I found a dead crab. Lulu wanted to eat it but Mom said if we want seafood, she’ll take us out for dinner.

We went for short hike. We found a big pond and there were these huge white birds swimming around. Lulu barked her head off at them (surprise…surprise…). Mom said they were Swans.

At home, we have geese on the lake. These birds looked a lot like the geese. Only they were white. And they were big. I think the swans are nothing more than geese on vacation.

The drive was uneventful. Lulu and I slept most of the way. Mom promises tomorrow will be a fun filled day of sightseeing.

Well as long as we don’t continue to look like the Beverly Hillbillies, I guess I’ll go along.

Stay tuned my friends!

Bon Voyage!

I guess the time is getting near. Mom has been telling Lulu and me that we would be going on vacation in the fall. The calendar says September so I guess that makes it fall….

We are leaving for Rhode Island! Woohoo….. where’s Rhode Island? I sure hope Mom knows because she will be doing the driving. That means me and Lulu will get stuck in the back end in our crate for the ride. Oh well, we’ll have a nice nap. Mom promises us we will have lots of fun!

Mom is taking us to the Pembroke Welsh Corgi National Specialty Show. Apparently there will be lots of Corgis and their families there from all over the country.

Scooter’s not going. My best buddy Rupert isn’t going. Well…. Rupes lives in Canada… that’s a whole other nation…. Not sure he would be able to get in…

Speaking of getting in…. Lulu, as you may know, is a Cardigan Welsh Corgi. I’ve asked Mom what will happen when these Pembroke Welsh Corgi people learn we brought a …. Cardigan with us. Mom says she will just have to roll Lulu’s tail up and wrap a “scrunchie” around it.

Rumor has it some of the events at the National Specialty Show are for humans only. Can you believe that…. No dogs? Mom is going to some fancy schmancy dinner and dog show one night. I think Lulu and I will stay in and rent a movie that night.

I have to run in the Agility trial on Wednesday and Thursday. That’s not much of a vacation…

But Mom says we will have lots of fun! We are going to see the ocean. Mom says it’s way bigger than our lake and the water tastes like salt. I may take up surfing but hope I don’t have to wear one of those wet suits. I bet my butt would look fat.

Anyway, in the great tradition of my good friend Rupert, I plan to write a travelogue of my vacation and report daily from the National Specialty Show.

Hasta la vista pals!

Tucker