Dogster

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Surreptitious Endeavors of the Canine Kind

There is a Heaven- I've seen it!

Heaven is a roadtrip to North Carolina! There are many of you out there who would disagree that a 9 hour trip could be so amazing- allow me to explain:

I got my own spot in the car with my blanket- awesome.
We make frequent stops where i get to poop and pee my way across half of the United States- If that is not marking your territory- I don't know what is!
Our first stop is Asheville North Carolina which is the ultimate!
I get to stay at.... I think they are called mother-in-law's? house where I get to play and visit with Bella the dog ALL WEEKEND LONG! Not only that i am actually allowed to get on the furntiture! Its comfortable too! Bella and I ruled that house! We played, ate, drank, and threw up like queens!!! Aparently all the excitement makes me queezy. Then- we go to where mom grew up which is like 3.5 hours away- and yet again I am recieved like royalty where i am allowed to go anywhere I want! There's nuthin like curling up on a leather couch! And the whole time I was told how cute I am, how well behaved i am (ha!), etc etc.
On our way back to Indiana we stopped again for the weekend a t my new favorite place in asheville. More rockin good times for everyone!
i don't want to dissappoint you- i did manage to get into a little trouble- I have to keep people on their toes!
So- this may have been my stealthiest manuver ever-
mom was sitting on the couch. I go over ( like a "good girl") and lay down between the couch and the coffee table. I noticed there was this delectible antique cloth hanging off the table. I had to go for it. Ever so carefully- with the Power fo the Three Toed Sloth- I nabbed to cloth gently with my mouth while mom was talking . Total score! I began chewingthe corner (cuz those taste the best) Now for you novices out there you have to chew looking away from anyone who may not want you to chew on something AND make very slow movements as to not set off any alarms-mmmmm...... tasted like one of those rope bones- you know the ones. Too good. Then i heard "DARCY!!!!" Foiled! Chew time was over- boy did I get it! Time out and everything!Apparent its a bad thing to chew on your mom's husbands mothers antique cloths. but you know me- had to do it! I didn't chew anything else after that!
Boy was that a fun vacation!

Latest Developments- Night Vision Surveillance

I have had to go underground! This is NOT pleasant news! Those faint of heart should not read this report! I HAVE BEEN PERMANENTLY BANNED from the glorious futon!!! I can't even get a paw on that thing! So- I decided to attempt to indulge in the pleasures of the futon in the cover of darkness. Last night, around 2200 hours, the lights were out, the TV was off, and I was on a mission. The secret is to not wake anyone up-see? If you do- you are done! VERY carefully I tiptoe from my bed- across creaky floor, tennis shoes, and books- to the FUTON. AHHA!!! Mom left the...(what do they call it?) throw blanket on the futon- perfect. I gently hopped up using my stealthy 4paw approach. Now- time to make a bed! With careful manuvering of the blanket I made the perfect comfy spot on the glorious futon. Sleep time!! heaven. ALERT ALERT!! Mom's awake retreat!!!!!! Shew! almost caught! Shes asleep again- back to business (sleep). RED CODE!!! Oh NO CAUGHT!!!! No where to go! Quick Look cute!! Look Cute!!! She'll be too sleepy and give in! Doggonit! Foiled again! Sent to my doggie bed. Ok she's in bed again- maybe if I sit here and wait til she falls asleep again- she wont notice.... Rats! She's making me lay down! Man she won't let up! Oh-well. Guess I need to surrender for right now... don't fret! I will strike again!

Mission Report- Sweet Success

I am reporting to you from what they call "the crate"- I call it "My Secret Lair". Last night's mission was a success! As soon as mom got home- we went for a potty stroll. THEN the mission went into full operation. Mom likes to unwind after work on the new futon- opportunity knocks! The first attempt, I opted for the casual step-up-on-the-futon-cuz-i-belong-here manuver. FAILED! I was quickly scolded and retreated to the mobile unit(my cushy dog bed). Second Attempt: I opted for the 1paw, 2paw ( a trick i learned from the days of bannishment from the bed)NO GOOD! I was quickly spotted and returned to base. Attempt #3: Golden- The Ol' Sneak and Creep- equiped with wrinkly forehead, wet nose, saaaaad puppy powers, and the Power of the Three-Toed Sloth- I managed to sneak my way onto the futon through my powers of coersion and incredible stealthiness. I was there for 3 minutes- DARCY GET UP! MAN!!!!! Foiled again! HAHA! What is this? Mom puts down a blanky! She tells me to get on the futon! YES! Snuggle time has arrived and I am BACK! Score! The Smell of Sweet Success!