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Woofs and Rants

I'm a good dog!

OK - It took five years, but I'm officially a GOOD DOG. I'd still never pass the Canine Good Citizen test, but my family thinks I'm 100% better than I used to be. ( I still can't do that "Mom leaves the room" part. I go whine and cry noisily - as demonstrated last Saturday at the Fire Hall fundraiser when Mom left to get us a hot dog.)

I did do one thing bad in the past couple of weeks. I was left on the porch for a bit with the cats. Well, I decided I didn't want to be on the porch (despite the bed and the chairs and the shade and the back room and the food and the water....). I took it upon myself to attain access to Gram and Pap's house.

First, I removed the screen from the screen door. I was very careful - only two tiny holes. I pulled the screen out rather than burst through it. See! I'm nice that way!

Then, I tried to jump through the window hole. It was a bit high and a little small. I hurt my belly pretty bad. But, I did get inside and snuggled in on the sofa to tend to my bruises. When Mom and the others got home - I didn't even get yelled at much. They were all Oooing over my poor bruised belly. In a few days, I was fine. But... they don't let the screen door window open at all any more.

Poo.

OK - the orange aint bad...

The orange is almost done in our house and its not that bad. Mom says "its warm and cozy". I just hope its warm in the winter - cause our house tends to be COLD.

The new sofa is WONDERFUL. I never get off of it. Mom is usually on the floor working on something and I'm laying sprawled across the new (almost) white sofa.

Life is grand. All is right with the world.

There's evil afoot - and its not me!

Mom spent the whole week home last week - and didn't do anything with ME! How dare she! Instead, she tore up all of my lovely green carpeting and started putting this hard, shiny stuff down instead! Its EVIL! When I run, I fall down. When I jump off my loveseat, I fall down. When I chase the cat... we BOTH fall down.

And... to make matters worse... she took away all of the furniture! Slippery floors and no place to sit. (As you all know, my bum is too precious to touch the plain ground - we must have upholstery.) She did leave my loveseat, but she keeps moving it around. And the cat is always on it and then Mom sits on it and its not big enough for the three of us (yet, we keep trying).

She mutters about the loveseat going away soon... what will I do then? Grandma says that it will look nice when the new furniture comes. I think its cold and slippery. And it looks like we're living inside a pumpkin. Why would Mom make the walls orange? She should have painted them white and black and grey - like me!