I'm 2.5 years old

So yesterday Albert says to Yasi, "I think I just saw something." And Yasi goes, "what's that?" He says, "Tigerlily charged around the house, opened the door and went inside." Yasi says, "Uh oh! How'd she figure out to do that? I never taught her that!"

Then Albert and Yasi started saying how they were going to go to the store, and they went out. I thought, maybe if I really just act calm and nonchalant, they will bring me along. So I went into the dining room, pulled the latch to the garden door, and ran out to catch up with then. I started acting nonchalant, because usually Yasi does take me along, because I'm so helpful. I pick up the mail, for instance, when she drops it. She's an incredible klutz. How could she even think about going to the store without me?

"So you were right!" Yasi exclaimed, like she'd been standing there just waiting to see if I really could open the door! What, did she think Albert was making it up? Of course I can open the door! I've watched them open the door a million times! They think that's tricky? Uh, duh. Not.

Anyway, so now they are keeping their eye on the door . It's kind of funny, but I'm NOT going to open it in front of them unless they ask, and they're afraid once they ask me to open the door, the dog will be out of the bag so to speak. What's the big worry, the weather is nice, the garden's fenced it. All I want is to go out in the yard, though it would be nice also to go swimming and then Yasi says she's going to clip off my fur. I'm not sure that's the best idea in the world, but whatever, it's almost impossible to train these humans, but they are pretty darn cute anyway.

Dog trainers can be so controlling!

Oh lets see, Tigerlily is acting like she's got puppies, but they are really just little soft squeakies that she manages to steal and collect and then she cuddles with them in my bed. It's a pain because now when I throw her a squeaky, she doesn't want to give it to me, she has her own project she's working on! Yeah. An intact female is a pain.

Cerf

So her eyes test normal. Oh goody. I get to contend with her estrus cycles for at least another year. What a pain. But she's such a great dog!

We were doing a retrieving game. I was practicing directed send aways. First I sent her to a 3 inch round clear plastic target -- it was hard to see outside in the field, so I put white cheese on it. When she got there, I sent her to her frisbee which was also out in the field, in a different direction. We did that a few times, and I reinforced her at the frisbee, but had her leave it there, and go back to the target for another reinforcement, then back to the frisbee, and finally I told her she could "get it!" Since I didn't tell her to bring the frisbee to me or drop it, I thought she'd just run around with it wildly like she usually does, but she ran directly to the clear plastic target (I thought it was hard to find?) and plop, dropped it directly over the target! It was a dog joke!

Funny thing

So today I went and got a second opinion on my dog from another friendly local vet. I've lived on this island for over twenty years, but today was the first time I was ever afraid on the boat ride in town -- six foot waves in Portland harbor!! And Tigerlily started barking at the engine the minute we got on the boat. I tried to distract her, but she was uncomfortable about the whole ordeal. In town -- windy! I was afraid a tree or a sign would blow down on us! I'd planned to do some in-town training, but it was so windy, and torrential rains all the way back to the boat, I had to just call the excercise "loose leash walking in hurricane."

On the boat ride home, still windy but not so bad, I played ball with Tigerlily. She caught her ball and put it in the little cup, and other silly retrieving tricks to the delight of the kids coming home from school.

Usually, I have a "dog bag" with us that's got a portable assortment of Tigerlily's treats and targets and toys, but today I had just my backpack. We got home soaked through to the bone, and I hung up my stuff on the chair to dry out next to her dog bag. Suddenly I noticed Tigerlily was nosing around in her dog bag. "What's this?" At firs tI thought she must be hunting for a dog treat, but NO -- She'd taken her little cup and ball OUT of my backpack and put it in her dog bag!! I almost fell over!!!What a well organized little dog!!

Oh -- so yeah, the doc says the fetal size is determined by the mother, and though he does recommend I find another smaller barbet, he's not worried at all about her physical ability to have a litter. Her teeth, as I know, are perfect, her eyes look great to him (but I'm scheduled for the real eye doc Sat), and dogs were all over her in the office and the dogs were apparently no problem at all after the hurricane!! so, we'll see...

I will, I won't

So today I'm leaning the OTHER way. This kind of uncertainty is what diaries are for, right? So I called the vet. Maybe I'm not gonna spay her yet. I've had an appointment to get her eyes
tested, and I was going to save some money and not do that -- but she's only one year old. My big rush was because if I'm gonna spay her anyway, I might as well sooner than later and then her heat won't conflict with the Clicker Expo in Newport RI., or the Carolyn Scott workshop and I can start trialing in obedience in the spring. But if she goes into heat, Dandylion can fill in for Tigerlily. He's just not quite the mover Tigerlily is. He's not as flashy. But that's not a good enough reason to hurry such a permanent decision.

The thing is, Tigerlily is very special. She is not only the perfect size for the boat ( fantastic! We sail and swim all over the place with her. We've sailed a few times to Provincetown and Martha's Vineyard. Her boat and water skills are awesome) but also she'd be the perfect size for some elementary school child to stick under a desk. I met this fragile, beautiful little girl in leg braces and bottle thick glasses at Petco once, and Tigerlily was just so magical with her, floating around her, understanding immediately to be gentle -- it made me cry to see-- maybe I could get little kids like that a very cuddly non-shedding service dog, lightweight and agile enough to jump up into a bed, but also strong enough to pull a chair.

Tigerlily at one year old, has many service behaviors down pat. She retrieves everything from pens and pencils from our desk (and I
think I can train her to sharpen a pencil, just poking the pencil in the
hole is the problem), to hats and mittens and keys. She retrieves anything,
she puts the blanket on the baby, puts the toys in the basket, and she's got some strong pull and tug energy. Low allergy makes her especially good for a classroom, and Barbets live long lives, and they cuddle like babies. The often aloof and reserved behavior she displays with other dogs (when they aren't pushing into her face and scaring her) is typical of the breed, and it can be a very good quality in service dogs. She isn't prone to over friendliness as labs can be. She is very dedicated to her persons.

I saw a picture of Tigerlily's mother's breeder, rocking the grandmother of Tigerlily bellyup in his lap, the same "baby position" Tigerlily chooses. I've never slept as well as when Tigerlily has her chin tucked under my head. That's all great service dog behavior too. She's 1/3 smaller than standard size, but as everyone says when they see her, that's better than standard! So a real rarity. And spaying is so permanent.

Still, most likely, I'll never breed her. For one thing, I'd have to find a small
male barbet, one who throws small puppies, and having puppies is risky for
any dog! And I'd have to travel to France or Germany or Switzerland to get
the semen. Maybe bring home a male I can breed with Tigerlily and
train him and place him as a service dog along with the
eligible pups? Would I really do that? Am I really hoping to be the next
Susan Ailsby?! hahaha. Yup, it's nuts. But I just love the dream. I still see that little girl, and I can just imagine how much she would love to have a soft helpful friend like Tigerlily.

French Barbet breeders seem very willing to help me, they don't care about papers, they bred the parents and grandparents so they know what I've got -- So maybe since I've waited this long I might as well wait until she's two, her breast cancer risk will still be less than mine(though my ** won't get in the way of clippers, haha) ... It would be more convenient to spay her, but wow. So permanent.

I'm thinking about either taking the All Dogs Gym Instructor training
program (but really expensive!) or else the N.E.A.D.S. service dog training
program, so if I ever do breed Tigerlily, that might help me organize a process of matching families with special needs children with any eligible pups I collect and train one way or the other.I need more info on the NEADS program, they say nothing about their methods on-line, except that they're "gentle." Hmmm. But the Neads program is much more affordable, it's a good credential I think, and the networking is really important...If anyone is still reading this long note and you know anything about those programs, can you let me know?

Tigerlily's Mom and Dad are very sweet and friendly with dogs. I don't know how her siblings turned out, wish I did, but Tigerlily spoons with Dandylion. When she gets to know a laid back dog, she is polite and playful -- it's only the surprises that cause her to react -- with barking and trying to scare the surprise away. So, I'm hoping her reactivity is partly youth and partly -- she was so much smaller than her 8 other littermates. She was sleeping while the other puppies were playing, but she was the only one awake while the other puppies slept. I thought it just gave her greater access to her mother (Tigerlily followed her mother her around and played with her constantly), but maybe it was because when the other puppies were awake, they flattened her (at that point, she weighed six pounds and they weighed between 10 and 13 pounds). The breeder and vet agreed that Tigerlily was first to open her eyes, first out of the whelping pen, first with everything. So she's always been healthy.

I'm not saying I'm going to breed her. But I just don't think I can spay her
yet. I just have to go down the path a bit further, see what's around the corner...(hey -- I'm a lot like my dog!!!) Decisions like
this are hard!!

getting her spayed

The thing is, she is shy. Not with people, but other dogs scare her. And I've decided that is enough of an issue that it disqualifies her for breeding. We work and work with it, and now at one year, 90% of the time you wouldn't know she was dog-shy. But if you catch her when she's tired, or if she's surprised by a loose dog, she reacts. This might be because she was so much smaller than her littermates -- maybe the other puppies in her litter kind of beat her up regularly, and so her early experiences with dogs were negative. Or it may be heritable shyness. So, while I love her like crazy, she's not a good foundation dog.

AND by getting her spayed now, I can get an AKC ILP number and trial her in obedience or agility, I can reduce her risk of breast cancer from 1 in 4 to 1 in 10, I'll be able to schedule us for splash camp or clicker expo or freestyle demos without having to worry about her going into heat.

The only down side is, I know that getting spayed is going to hurt. I hate to hurt my dog! whine wimper! I'm scared!

January 2006

Happy New Year! Well, now I'm coming around to thinking that maybe I shouldn't have Tigerlily spayed. Today's reasoning: this is just such a fabulous dog. She is so agile and athletic, sentitive and smart. Her size, her cuddliness, her retrieving skills, working abilities and non-allergenic qualities would make her a splendid service dog, in particularly for an old person or a small child. Example: We met a little girl with leg braces, thick glasses, crutches, at the pet store when we were buying food. Tigerlily adapts very readily to the energy around her, and so she just became so graceful and soft and gentle around this little girl. I could easily picture Tigerlily having babies who would be fabulous assistance dogs in a classroom. She's just the right size to tuck under an elementary school desk, but she is also strong enough to help steady a small walker. I bring her with me when I play music at nursing homes, and she retrieves pens and pencils, even small things like guitar picks, paper clips, money. People say she seems so mellow, but she is so different when we are outside, engaged in a sporting activity! It is really something to watch her spin and leap and twirl doing her freestyle moves. Her body doesn't seem to have a stiff joint in it! At only twenty three pounds, she is still extremely strong. She can pull! Water work is so easy for her, she never tires, she dives and retrieves and puts things right into my hand. And at night, this is one who if given the opportunity will tuck her head under my chin, soft as a lamb, wraps her paws around me and cuddle. This is just an amazing dog.

So, I'm not ready to give up on the idea of letting Tigerlily continue her gene pool, and deliver a few non-shedding service dogs into the world. I have an appointment to have her eyes tested for heritable diseases on January 21. If her eyes are good, then we'll x-ray her hips. If she turns out to be the excellent dog that she seems to be, then I have to just search and see if I can find another excellent dog to be the father. It will be a process of elimination. If I can't find a barbet who throws smaller puppies, then I won't breed her. Tigerlily is smaller than the breed standard (nonconforming in this way), and in spite of that, I think her small size is among her most valuable qualities!

Still, I might never breed her, and I know that leaving her intact is inconvenient for me to say the least. Also, intact she will be at an increased risk of reproductive system diseases. And having a batch of puppies is difficult and dangerous and expensive .... anyway, I'm still undecided I guess. Just collecting more information and not ready to give up on the dream.

Spay/Neuter?

For any leftist conservatives , or as I sometimes say, "political athiests" like me (not Republican, but otherwise uncertain what party you belong to) barbets really satisfy that inner radical. Adopt a barbet and you are immediately plunged into a fabulously healthy controversy in the French breed club. Some advocate for a smaller, old fashioned barbet line -- which diverged from the club when the club raised height standards to accomadate some poodle (his name was "Blackie") into the blood. People tell me that Tigerlily's small size (she is 17.5 inches at the shoulder and about 23 pounds), as well as her strong bird and prey drive means she's more like an old fashioned barbet. All I know is, she doesn't meet the French Club standard (too small).

Which is a moot point anyway, because her breeder still hasn't sent me the papers I was promised, and she hasn't answered my queries about them. The papers I have say Tigerlily is granddaughter of Luron JoyeuxxPoppenspaler's Brandy and Poppenspaler's Vouvray and Nugga Des Champs Galants (parents are Up to Date de la Perte aux Loups and Luna) . Anyway, I HAD been planning to breed Tigerlily, and bring these wonderful puppies into my community. But now I ask myself, do I REALLY want to breed her (with0ut papers, will her offspring be unable to contribute to the barbet genepool? Do papers matter?)

Anyway, this challenges me to rethink and think again my opinions about breeding and the breed club affiliations (the whole breeding philosophy that it cultivates, I feel is ruining many types dogs), and my ideas about "do papers matter?" And also I have to think about my romantic notions. I faced my secret notions about my dog, telling my husband, "I'm going to get her spayed, but I don't want to get her spayed! I want her to be sexy! Not some barren, sexless..." (This concern might be a symptom, I noticed uncomfortably, of my own approaching menopause)...

A week ago I got an appointment for Tigerlily to have her eyes tested for signs of any heritable eye issues (a good idea before breeding) and I also made some phone calls with the questions about spaying (which I kept calling neutering, and my teenage daughters didn't tell me I was getting the term wrong till after I got off the phone with the vet!). One question I had was "isn't there some sort of doggie birth control that can delay the onset on her next heat, so we can delay this decision a bit longer?"


You see, Tigerlily will likely go into heat when we're registered for the Clicker Training Expo -- a dog-human learning vacation made in heaven! We're registered for advanced classes in Freestyle and Service behaviors!! I *could* let Dandylion sub for Tigerlily, if she's in heat, but Lion just isn't as clickerable as Tigerlily is. He stands and stares a lot. He's not all that advanced. Tigerlily is so bouncing, she just keeps offering new behaviors, she's my little precocious student...so I want to bring her. Also, once Tigerlily is neutered (I keep getting the word wrong! spayed!), I think I can get an AKC number to enter her in AKC obedience or agility trials.

Anyway. I did ask my vet about breeding a litter and he said the one thing people don't think about is the risk to the mother. I told my friend, that's one reason why I should get her spayed. We live on an island! What if something went wrong and I had to load Tigerlily in labor onto a boat?! Then my friend pointed out that I had MY youngest baby born on the island, that it was good enough for me but not g0od enough for my dog?!

The idea of going to France, traveling on a canal boat, visiting barbet breeders sounds like heaven, except then I have to remember that this whole voyage would include Tigerlily in heat. Oh yeah. Sounds like an ordeal. I need to do some research about how dog semen could maybe be frozen and shipped from France? This is the sort of research assignment I have never before imagined. My vet says the dog hormones for delaying onset of estrus were abused by bodybuilders or something and so maybe aren't available on the market. He's checking.

Whatever. I'm just preparing myself for what ultimately has to happen (whether before or after a litter or two of puppies): she's got to get spayed eventually. I hate that she has to have surgery. I feel guilty, too, because inspite of what people say about the healthy benefits of spaying, I'm not sure about it. Dandylion seems so much less zippy since he lost his nuts. (He also doesn't take off into the jungle all the time, though either! He is much easier to manage. Maybe Tigerlily would be calmer in a good way?)

I almost lost my dog

As my Christmas gift this 2005 (we just brought in our tree), I get to keep my dog. We're so lucky. To make a long story short, today we brought Lion and Tiger out on the beach. The both really needed to run, all the fields and woods are covered with snow. It was very windy on the beach and the ocean was noisy with rough choppy waves. I let the dogs off-leash to run and play, running over icy seaweed and along the sand again after sticks (too windy for frisbee).

To make a long drama short, in a blink of an eye we looked up and somehow Tigerlily (our year old barbet) was missing. We'd been headed back towards the car, with Lion trailing. Nope, Tigerlily wasn't behind us, trying to collect Dandylion. Maybe she's run up to the road? I thought about running up to the road, but first ( miraculously) I turned, glanced out on the ocean and somehow noticed (way out on the ocean, in a mile-wide boat channel ) a flock of ducks. They were about a quarter of a mile out. And then I saw this black speck, maybe another flock? Black ducks? Swimming out to meet the white ducks? I started screaming as it dawned on me that really was Tigerlily, WAY out in the ocean, in Maine, in December, in a chop and strong currents, and she was still swimming steadily further away.

I wasn't sure if she could even hear me, couldn't really tell for a few seconds if that black speck had turned and was starting to swim towards me. Then I wasn't sure she could make it.

We do lots and lots of swimming all summer long, and Barbets are supposed to be very tolerant of cold water, but Tigerlily has never really impressed me ALL that much with her tolerance for cold. I mean, her lips get blue! She shivers! There have been a few times in the summer where it was obvious that she really got too cold in the ocean, but she loves to swim. Still, until today, I've never seen her swim this far. Birds really excite her. I thought, maybe these birds were leading this dog to her death.

After she is a few yards closer (barely close enough that I could see her swimming into the chop) she started to turn away again.Maybe confused (delirious? I was!)? So I scream and clap and call good dog and hurt my hands, slapping so hard. My knees were actually knocking when she reached shore.

Now, with Tigerlily bathed and brushed and asleep here at my feet on her pillow, it haunts me what could have happened. What if I hadn't seen her out there? She was still following those geese. If we hadn't seen her, we could have assumed she'd strayed after a deer. We might have gone home, expecting Tigerlily to turn up any minute...

Anyway -- Tigerlily! We still have her! My knees have almost stopped knocking.

Aug 2005

Tigerlily is so sweet. Since I taught her to leap up onto my shoulders,(sometimes she just kind of just gracefully runs up by body, lands well up on my arms, it's an effortless thing now that's she's learned), she is often "asking" me for the stunt. It's wonderful when a "trick" becomes a reward!!

It worked that way for kisses too, though this should go on Dandylion's page. I still do give a bit of food for a kiss, but when I ask Tiger or Lion for a kiss, they are eager to lick my nose, whether or not I have a treat. It's that way now with the "jump up," which requires barely a look, hardly a cue, I think we smile at each other, and she's in my arms. I do still sometimes give her a chunk of cheese up there, but she doesn't seem to need it. It's an extra.

Last night we needed the trick. At one of our first foundations in agility classes, having missed a week for a sailing trip, but feeling spunky and smart, Tiger was getting everything I said. We played some turn games. We practiced a moving down. Played on the table, the teeter, a wobble board (which is all easy, since Tiger's favorite toy at home is a yoga ball!). Then we were playing a "wait with full attention" game. You have your dog sit and wait, toss cookie, still waiting, and go, ready? steady, ok! and race with dog to get the cookie.

This is obviously a fun game! And Tiger was eager to learn, doing it perfectly with still the hint of a question mark between her ears, when from behind me, a hundred pound none-too-friendly German Shepherd bounded past with hackles up onto my fluffernutter who gave a little squeal, I gave a little squeal, we all kind of spun around in this scary circle for a second, then Tiger was on my shoulder, the instructor had the german shepherd dog, then the instructor's helper was there, then the annoying handler of the sheperd dog, who never even said, "sorry."

After that, Tiger just wanted to be held, or to lay down on her blanket. I felt EXACTLY the same way! The instructor said, "is she okay?" "Yeah," and she was. Our heartbeats were returning to normal. Tigerlily is only 24 pounds right now. A big dog can hurt a little dog, but funny how big dog owners can act so confident and relaxed, just releasing their dog, not worried about a thing. Well, why should they worry? *Their* dog isn't the one who's going to get hurt!!

We made a few more attempts at fun. She went through her first tunnel quite willingly, then over a jump, through another tunnel. What a good girl. But she looked kinda weak in the knees, and when I held out the squeaky toys she was like, I love you, but are you kidding? We called it a day, went back home via the ferry boat, where we met Daddy and some friends, and we went to their house and played music for half an hour before going home tobed.