August 4th 2012 2:39 am
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Although it has gotten easier to accept Jack's untimely death, I still want to cry when thinking too much about it. Recently, Tia and Angel had been acting out their own depression by not eating so I had been more concerned about them than myself. I gained over 10lbs since Jackie died! Thinking of what he would have looked like when he got older, how he would have loved this or that, how I wish I could have done more. Honestly, I do know that I did everything I could for Jack...exhausting ALL resources until there was nothing left to give. I still think it wasn't fair...that he shouldn't have had to die like that. I sometimes wonder if I made the right decision by keeping him in the ICU like that, or if I should have let him go sooner. Sometimes I feel guilty for dragging out the process. If he'd gotten started on his puppy shots right off the bat there's a possibility this could have been avoided, ya know? His former owners didn't take responsibility, and it's unrealistic to think I should have done something before when I didn't know Jack needed me...or else I would have found him a lot sooner than I did. I believe I found him for a reason...he needed someone to take responsibility of him and that's what I did. But still, it feels like more should have/could have been done...I just don't know what. It breaks my heart knowing of the pain & suffering little Jack endured thanks to the parvo. It makes me sick knowing his former owners got away with abandoning a puppy, and not knowing how the other two dogs are/were being treated. If I could have saved them, I would have. As it was, the owners did take them along. Jack's situation was unfortunate to the end, with the exception that myself, Angel, and Tia were there to show him the love he needed all along. It is somewhat comforting to know that he had a soft bed to sleep on, blankets to cuddle under, food to eat and water to drink until the day he died.
Jack ~May '12 - Jul '12~