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The Biscuit Diaries

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Day 55, Thursday, 5/3/12

May 5th 2012 7:56 am
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When I checked my E-mail this morning, I found that I had a message from informing me that my diary has been selected as a “Diary Pick of the Day.” Personally, I don’t know what the big deal is, but Bob was so excited that I thought he was going to wet the rug.

It doesn’t seem to take much to impress Bob. Last night, for example, we aced our obedience class (thanks to me, of course). Bob went to one end of the toy aisle while I waited at the other. Then, when he called and I ran to him, he tossed one of my favorite toys over my head and yelled, “Leave it!” Of course, I did leave it and kept running toward him. Naturally, I got big hugs and lots of treats for that. The trainer also showed him how to do the “Drop it” command. He’s a little slow to learn sometimes, but I think he got it last night ‘cuz this morning when I picked up something on the volleyball court and he told me to drop it, I did.

Some of my friends on shared some good “rules” with me this morning. Here’s one set, Biscuit’s Rules of Possession*:

If I saw it, it’s mine.
If it’s on the ground, it’s mine.
If I can reach it, it’s mine.
If you want it, it’s mine.
If I don’t want it, you can have it.
If I want it back, its mine.
If you have it, it’s mine.
If it’s broken, it’s yours.
If you fix it, it’s mine.

*Note: I am now calling these Biscuit’s Rules of Possession because I found them, which, according to the rules, makes them mine, right?


Day 56, Friday, 5/4/12

May 5th 2012 7:57 am
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Wanna sniff me? I got a Hollywood bath yesterday, and I still smell really nice. No, really. It was a Hollywood bath—from Heather and Chloe at Hollywood Hound Grooming. They came right to the apartment and bathed me in my own tub, so I didn’t even have to go out. Now, that’s what I call the star treatment. I was a little reluctant at first to get into the tub (I suggested to Bob that he get a rubber mat for the tub so I don’t slip) but once I got in, I was just fine. Heather dried me out on our second-story patio, and all the fur flying must have looked like snowfall to the people down below. (Christmas in May.) I’ll think I’ll call Hollywood Hound Grooming and ask them if they can send out somebody to bathe Bob and Tony. They smell like they could use a little of that star treatment—or some kind of treatment. Whew!


Day 57, Saturday, 5/5/12

May 6th 2012 4:50 pm
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My buddy Victor came over to play with me today. It didn’t take him very long, though, to turn his attention to toy cars and dinosaurs. That’s OK. He’s only 3, and besides, I cajoled his daddy into rubbing my belly the whole time they were here.


DAY 58, Sunday, 5/6/12

May 6th 2012 4:56 pm
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This being a Sunday, I thought I would share a bit of philosophy. Here’s another bit of wisdom I picked up from one of my pup pals on I thought it was very insightful, almost theological.


The dog is not allowed in the house.

Okay, the dog can come in, but only in certain rooms.

The dog is allowed in all the rooms but has to stay off the furniture.

The dog can get on the old furniture only.

Fine. The dog is allowed on all the furniture, but the dog is not allowed to sleep on the bed.

Okay, the dog can sleep on the bed, but by invitation only.

The dog can sleep on the bed whenever it wants, but not under the covers.

The dog can sleep under the covers by invitation only.

The dog can sleep under the covers every night.

Humans must ask permission to sleep under the covers...


Day 59, Monday, 5/7/12

May 8th 2012 4:42 am
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I think I need to work with Bob on heeling today. He hasn’t quite gotten down the technique yet. First, I need to show him the right kind of treats to use.


DAY 60, Tuesday, 5/8/12

May 9th 2012 2:53 am
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I practically had to drag Bob through the door for our morning constitutional today. Ya see, it rained last night, and…well…I think Bob was afraid he might get his ‘ittle ‘ootsies wet. What a wuss!


DAY 61, Wednesday, 5/9/12

May 9th 2012 7:15 pm
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Bob took me to see the vet this morning. He’s been worried about me ‘cuz I’ve been having some soupy poopy lately. I guess he got concerned because of all the dog food recalls lately. It turns out that I just have a minor bacterial infection, and a little antibiotic should fix me up in no time. And the best news is that Bob tries to hide the pills in peanut butter to get me to take them. I don’t mind that at all, and if he wants to think that he’s pulling one over on me, I can live with that too.

Actually, I think it’s kinda nice that he worries about me. I worry about him too sometimes. I think maybe we’re good for each other.

Bob has finally decided to get a new mouse for his laptop. I’ve been warning him about that neighborhood cat for weeks now.


DAY 62, Thursday, 5/10/12

May 11th 2012 5:02 am
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Happy Anniversary to me! Yeah, it’s been two months now since I adopted Bob and Tony. My, my, my, time sure does fly when you’re having fun, huh? Oh, there’ve been ups and downs, of course, but all in all, I think it’s worked out pretty well. Yeah, I think maybe I’ll keep ‘em.

Class was pretty good last night. Bob is getting a little better at heeling. He learned about a new treat called Lickety Stix that works really well for training in heeling. Oh, and another thing: last night when Bob told me to wait or stay and then walked out of sight, I stayed right there until he came back. I think even Wendy, the trainer, was impressed.

I just learned that Bob and Tony’s vet…uh…er…doctor, Dr. G, has left the health plan that they use. I know they’re disappointed, and I am too ‘cuz Dr. G is the guy who wrote the letter that allows me to keep Bob and Tony in my apartment with me. He was also very nice to me when I went with Bob to see him. Oh, and, of course, he’s nice to Bob and Tony too. Anyway, we’ll all miss him.


DAY 63, Friday, 5/11/12

May 12th 2012 3:26 am
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Bob is such a silly goose. He went out to lunch today and when he got back to the car, he panicked when he looked in the backseat and found that I was not there. He thought I had jumped out the window and run off. It took a moment for it to dawn on him that he had never brought me with him. He had left me home.

Then, in the afternoon, he took me out on the patio to brush me. As he usually does, he sat on an overturned bucket, but he had forgotten that it had rained last night, and he ended up sitting in a puddle of water.

What am I gonna do with him? It’s a good thing I know how to fetch ‘cuz I may have to fetch his head for him the next time he misplaces it.


DAY 64, Saturday, 5/12/12

May 13th 2012 3:05 pm
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Hmmm. I’m not sure about today. Tony and Bob are going to a concert in Austin, and they’re leaving me with Sue. Don’t get me wrong; I really like Sue and her dog Cassie, but I’m not used to being left in someone else’s apartment like that. We’ll see.

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