April 10th 2012 1:13 pm
[ Leave A Comment ]
Been to visit the in-laws over the Easter Bank Holiday which was a 3 hour car trip there and back. I can’t understand why Ellie goes mental when Mum blows on her face, seeing as though she sticks her head out of the car window when Mum is driving at 60 mph. There was a dog in the house next door who looked exactly like me…I did stop for a brief chat but he seemed to have trouble understanding my Welsh accent!!
There was a huge field at the back of the house we stayed in…man it was the biggest field I have ever seen (and that’s saying something seeing as though I am from Wales – no sheep though!) Mum took Ellie and I for several walks in it and I even got to play with my ball. There was a small incident when Mum used a strange plastic ball launcher which shot my ball half way across the field. As any Border Collie owner knows, when we keep our eye on the ball…we really keep our eye on the ball. Mum whacked the launcher and I took off after it…mind focused and legs in motion. I must have ball tunnel vision, because I swear there was nothing between me and my ball when I started running….until I ran head first into a Yorkshire Terrier. He looked like he’d been shot out of his very own launcher as he shot off in the same direction as my ball (for a while I was unsure which one to chase – but I thought Mum wouldn’t be impressed if I brought a small dog back in my mouth!)
All in all it was a pretty nice trip and much better than going to that damn kennels. If we’ve been stuck in a run next to a dog with wind once, we’ve been stuck a million times. And they seem to think that because Ellie & I live together, that we want to share a bed…
Mum’s been working very hard with the photo’s she’s taken of Ellie and I.
Check out my new page to see them all…..http://dogwithblog.wordpress.com/dog-with-blog-shop/
Easter Happy Jay xxx
April 5th 2012 9:13 am
[ Leave A Comment | 1 person already has ]
I have noticed during my years of living with Mum that there are numerous things that can land a pooch in the so called ‘dog house’. I can only assume that these ‘things’ are not specific to my living arrangements and most probably apply to all dogs and their owners. I have therefore made myself an ‘Unbucket List’ (things I will NOT do before I die)……I am going to go on a Doggy to do List Detox and try to refrain from doing as many of these things as possible. Mainly becuase I love my Mum and do not like to see her eyes flashing red and the vein in her temple doing an Irish Jig.
1.I will stop wiping my mouth across the sofa throw after having eaten my chicken in jelly dinner – it is not a doggy napkin
2.I will not take Mum’s underwear off the washing line and parade them around the garden like a 4th of July banner
3.I will stop sitting on Ellie’s head so that I get more attention than she does
4.I will not play tug of war with Mum’s trousers – especially when she is sitting on the toilet with them around her ankles
5.I will not stick my head out of the car window incase I accidentally put my foot on the button and get my head stuck – again
6.I will not come in from the garden after doing my business and wipe my butt across the carpet – especially when we have company
7.I will stop being nosy and barking every time someone knocks on our neighbours front door
8.The postman is not trying to steal our belongings when he pokes his hand through the letterbox – I must stop trying to rip off his limbs
9.I must not stand up to attention and growl after being in a deep sleep when it is dark and Mum is home alone
10.I must not drink out of the toilet bowl (or I will at least check it has been flushed first)
11.I must head to the garden if I’m going to be sick, instead of walking around the house and depositing piles of puke on clean bits of carpet
12.I must not sniff Ellie’s poo after she’s done it if my front legs are not securely positioned
There are probably a lot more I should add to this list…but we’ll see how I go on over the next few days………
Unbucketed Jay xxx
April 5th 2012 9:12 am
[ Leave A Comment ]
I really dislike next doors cat! It’s not that I’m anti-cat or anything; the ginger one who lives across the road seems to be okay. At least he has the decency to hide under cars and pretend I’m dominant when he see me coming. But our neighbours cat is just plain rude; he sits on top of MY fence with his ‘oh so skinny, I can walk on a 2 inch fence’ type feet and watches me when I’m trying to poop!
He refuses point blank to acknowledge my superiority as a canine and looks at me like I’ve just rolled in something nasty. Do you know how difficult it is to poop when Mr Twinkles is hissing manically above you? Maybe he’s trying to get me to spread the word around the village that he’s tough (trying to rid himself of the cat-complex a name like Mr Twinkles would give you !!)
Furthermore, I see him out of the window most evenings after Mum comes home from work, sitting on the bonet of our car (stretching his legs). I usually shout through the window at him, but Mum always stops me; saying he is just getting warm after the cars been running. Why doesn’t he get warm on his own blinking car?
Mr Twinkles tried to make friends with my Mum a few weeks back…..probably just to annoy me; how is it that cats get away with murder (quite literally)? Mum opened the front door to take me for a walk and there was Mr Twinkles sitting on our car after having deposited a headless mouse on our doorstep. Dirty bugger!
I get in trouble for bringing in mud from the garden and saving it for a snack later, but Mr Twinkles is ‘cute’ when he dumps decapitated dead animals on my doorstep. I bet his Mum wouldn’t think it was cute if I decapitated him and deposited him at her front door !!!!
Cat Envy Jay xxx
April 5th 2012 9:11 am
[ Leave A Comment ]
Before writing some of my blogs, I often do some research on the internet to see what’s happening in the world (just incase I’m missing out on anything super cool!!) I have this week come across soemthing very strange known as The Google Glasses (Project Glass). It would appear that humans are to wear this odd contraption on their heads and have instant access to news, weather, music and other applications.
It may be because I am a dog and do not understand the inner workings of the human mind, but this seems a little Total Recall to me (Ohhh I love Arnie….) I can just imagine the day when Mum no longer needs to take me for a walk, as she straps some Google Glasses onto my head, sticks me on a treadmill and off I go….under the sorry illusion that I am in fact walking in the Welsh valleys on a warm, barmy day (as oppose to being in my living room facing a white wall).
Although, these glasses may be a welcome addition for Ellie…..I could stick them on her face, put the tennis on and tell her to watch the ball….that should keep her busy for hours, if not days…
The Future Is Calling Jay xxx
April 1st 2012 3:42 am
[ Leave A Comment ]
Yesterday was not a good day! In fact I’m still trying to come to terms with it all. What started out as an average mid-week day, ended in tears, tantrums and mayhem…. and that was just Mum.
We always go for a walk around midday when Mum’s not at work. She usually takes me first and Ellie second. Apparently the only time she took us together we nearly ripped her arms out of their sockets. I like it when it’s just me and Mum though. Ellie always creates merry hell when I put my lead on, lying on the floor making grotesque gurgling sounds as though someone is butchering her with a blunt spoon. No one takes any notice really. So Mum and I left the house after trying to explain to Ellie she was going next, and finally giving up. We took a lovely walk around the block and headed back home for Ellie’s turn. Now usually when we walk into the hallway Ellie bounds out of the lounge to greet us….but not yesterday. All was quiet and still! Mum took my lead off and walking into the lounge. She saw it before I did, and clapped her hand over her mouth to supress the scream that had just emitted. When I walked in I had to lean against the bookcase just to stop myself from fainting. Mum and I looked at the floor in the lounge at the same time and then she looked at me….”oh Jay” she said, and put her hand on my head. There were no words to ease the pain, and she knew that. I tried to keep calm, but the anger and sadness rushed forwards all at once. I opened my mouth and howled as loud as I could. “WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO MR FRIMBLES!!!!!” It didn’t take a genius to see what had happened to him. Ellie was sitting in the corner of the room with his left arm swinging from her mouth. Her head and face covered in his furry white innards. Mr Frimbles, my favorite rope toy whom I’ve had for nearly two years. He had survived being tumbled dried on a high heat setting, losing his footing in the car on a roundabout last summer and being hurled from the window at 30mph and being the unfortunate victim of a less than pleasant bottom incident when I picked up a stomach bug.
But now here he was. Well I say here…a better term would be here, there and everywhere. HIs head was wedged under the sofa, the arm that wasn’t in Ellie’s mouth was hanging next to a pair of knickers on the washing stand and I can’t even contemplate how both of his legs ended up on the book shelf crossed at the ankles with no body to hold them up. HIs innards were strewn across the lounge floor like a blanket of snow and over in the corner was the obvious culprit. Wagging her tail and and Mr Frimbles’s arm in unison. I was nearly sick when she brought over Mr Frimbles arm and tried to get me to play tug of war with me. Mum says that she didn’t mean any harm and she doesn’t really understand what she’s done wrong. I tried to explain it to her but I couldn’t bring myself to speak to her. Mum picked up all of the limbs and bits she could find. There were still some parts we couldn’t find. It was only today after tea that one of Mr Frimbles eyes turned up after Ellie had gone to the toilet.
Mum could see how upset I was so we had a little ceremony today. We dug a hole in the back garden and put all of Mr Frimbles’s parts into it. Then we covered him over with soil. Mum said I had to forgive Ellie cause she is still a puppy and still learning. I have played with her a bit today but have put all of my toys in my crate and shut the door. I was starting to feel a bit better this evening until I went for a wee in the garden and saw a giant Jackdaw trying to wedge Mr Frimbles’s head into the hole in the roof next door. I had no idea that birds dug things up out of the soil?
Mum says she will buy Ellie some tough toys so she can’t break mine. I suggested getting a six foot rottweiler to play with …but we’ll see. Tomorrow will be a better day!!
A tired Jay