August 12th 2012 1:51 pm
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Wow!! Diary of the Day?!
I never even heard or knew about Diary of the Day, or any other honor the Dogster community awards, until today. I opened my email to a so many beautiful, sweet, loving messages to me and my beautiful Shana!!
I am extremely touched and honored, and I know Shana is too. Thank you so much to all who have sent me prayers, condolences, and such wonderful compliments. I am so grateful for a community of people who really understand what I'm going through right now. This honor and all your heartfelt messages made me cry and smile, for the first time in 8 days.
Thanks again to all our new pals!!
& Shana, RIP...8/03/12
August 8th 2012 11:53 pm
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On Wed night, Shana fell down a few steps, not unusual for her as she had cataracts, which resulted in quite a few falls and bumps etc over the last 4-5 years. I picked her up and checked her out, and she was fine. However, on Thursday evening and Friday she was really lethargic and weak, and just not herself. Friday night, she couldn't walk. Her back legs started giving out on her and she started to yelp and whimper in pain. I've never heard a sound like that from her, it was awful. After almost 18 years, I knew her every move and sound she made and knew what they meant. And that horrible yelp and look in her eyes spoke volumes.
As much as some people have teased me about how old she was and kept telling me I needed to let her go, I needed her to tell or show me she was ready. Before this happened, there was nothing wrong with her!! She only had cataracts. She went to the vet regularly and her labs were always fine. Her vet said she didn't even have a heart murmur like most dogs do! I couldn't justify putting her down because of age alone.
I didn't bother with any formal diagnostic testing on Friday. The vet said she thought she may have herniated a disc in her back when she fell Wed night, and it had been affecting the nerves in her back legs. She would need a few surgeries to repair this. There was no way I was putting her through that. So, with a heavy heart, I decided it was time to let her go. This wasn't Shana's normal doctor, because we had to take her to the animal hospital, but she was really great. She was in tears, too, and she only just met Shana. She put Shana in my arms with her lil blanket while she did it, and told me to talk to her so Shana thought she was just going to sleep in my arms. When it was over, she said she could tell Shana was well taken care of to have lived for so long and could tell how much we both meant to each other. I needed to hear that to help validate that I did the right thing. Then I told her she was going to have to take Shana out of my arms because I just couldn't hand her over.
Deep down, I know i did the right thing. Her loss was sudden, but I knew, after almost 18 years, it was coming. I said I would never let her suffer and she'd let me know when it was time. Friday night...she told me. And I had to listen.