I am not there

Do not stand at my grave and weep;
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn's rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush,
I am the swift uplifting rush
of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there, I did not die.

Miss you

Thinking a lot about you lately, baby girl. I miss you a ton. You were far too young, we had so much left to do together ... I remember when I got you, how I was so excited, how I thought you'd love to do agility together. I remember taking you to the creek and trying to teach you to swim, leading you along with spoonfuls of peanut butter. How good you were at obedience, and how we'd practice your heeling all the time on walks. Going to doggy playgroup with you. No one there seems to remember you any more. I can't believe how things have changed. You were here for such a short time but you'll live on forever in my heart. I hope you and Khloe are doing well at the Bridge. Momma loves you both. One day we will be together again.

New puppy!

Hi everyone. Exciting news! I'm bringing home a puppy on Monday.
His name is Diego. He's a pit bull mix, and we believe he's around five months old. My cousin found him left tied out on a chain. His "owners" decided they didn't want him anymore after they bred their other pit bull. :(
His profile number is 1282537 if you'd like to be pup pals.

I'm glad I could give my baby Kail a good home for the short time she was here on this earth. It still hurts, and I miss her dearly. But I think it's the right thing to do to give another pup in need a home.
Love you, peanut butter butt ♥

Home

Finally got my baby girl's ashes back today. Not too pleased with the place that cremated her, but whatever ... Just happy to have my Kailie back home.

One year ago.

Just a year ago (yesterday, technically) I adopted Kail. So sorry you couldn't be here to bring in the New Year, baby girl. Momma loves you so much. I miss you, peanut butter butt.

Goodbye, baby girl.

Kail has gone to the Rainbow Bridge. She passed away in my arms. She is finally at peace.

Fly free, beautiful girl. Momma loves you.

...

I spoke with Kail's vet a few minutes ago. We had been trying Xanax to help calm her down and steroids to try and help her (for example if what she has was something like meningitis). Nothing is helping. A few nights ago she did nothing but pace for hours and hours and nothing could get her to calm down. I've had to pick her up and carry her to get her outside to potty, then carry her back in. Trying to get her to go for a walk has just resulted in her freaking out so badly that her paw has started bleeding. She doesn't play with the other dogs anymore. Mostly, when she isn't pacing and running into things, she's sleeping. Anyway, the vet thinks the best thing to do for her now is have her put to sleep.

I haven't made an appointment yet. I still have to think about this. But I don't think she's happy anymore. She's not the dog I brought home almost a year ago. I feel so horrible. My poor baby...

Battan's

Hi. First of all, thank you for all the birthday wishes! Kail got lots of cookies and walks and tons of playtime yesterday.

We saw the neurologist today. He thinks Kail has Battan's disease. She had blood drawn and sent out and we will know for sure in a week or two. Unfortunately, if this is what she has, it is degenerative and there is no treatment...

Doing well.

Hi. Just a quick update!

It turns out the neurologist we were referred to sometimes takes appointments at an office only an hour away, so we were placed on a waiting list. They said that we would probably be able to see him in a month or so. This is great news - Kailie hates car rides! She still isn't going to be happy, but this is much better than three hours!

Recently, when she doesn't want to go for a walk she has started to absolutely freak out and nearly choke herself on her leash. Dunno what that is about. Usually when she doesn't want to walk, she simply lays down. She's also suddenly terrified of other dogs. :( I almost got her to go for a walk with me this evening when another dog walked by. Kail dragged me home. It's so weird, she used to be soo happy to see another dog, she'd bounce around and try to get them to play (even if the other dog clearly wanted nothing to do with her, lol). The vet did say this might be because she can't see the other dogs as well anymore.

Otherwise, Kail is doing well. We took a trip to the family cabin last weekend. She got into lots of trouble and had plenty of fun, playing in the mud and going fishing (she tried to bite one of the fish!) and stealing beer and relaxing in the sun. At home she's been running around in the yard, seems perfectly happy and normal except the problems with walks and other dogs I mentioned earlier. I bought her some new kongs - she destroyed the two I first bought her months ago (one large red one and one of the black extreme kongs - we've now upgraded to two XXL extremes). She's very happy to have new ones. They're her favorite toys!

Second opinion

Hi everyone. I took Kail to see another orthopedic specialist today for a second opinion. I expressed my concerns about her suddenly being afraid of other dogs, bumping into things, and having trouble finding treats on the floor. He took a look at her x-rays, examined her eyes and legs, and watched her walk. He thinks that the problem may be neurological, and suspects a disease of the cerebellum. He would like us to go see a neurologist, unfortunately the nearest one is a three hour drive from here. As soon as I can I do plan to take her and see what the neurologist thinks..