Dogster

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I AM NOT LOONEY!!!!!

DON'T MISUNDERESTIMATE THE WAMBAT!

I may not move around much. I sleep a lot. And I may have trouble getting my butt all the way onto my bed most of the time. Sure. It happens.

Yeah, and I wear this old-lady turtleneck shawl thing most of the time lately. Because I got a shorty haircut and, well, it's not as flattering a shape as it could be. I'm old and very slim and have fatty tumors, ok? And I get cold.

Oh, yeah, and I refuse to eat kibble but I will eat as much chicken and rice as you'll feed me.

But don't you EVER misunderestimate me.

Cats: assuming I see you, you had better beware. I will run after you. I will run halfway down the block. I will jump over a bush to pursue you. Probably. So watch yourself. I might not see you, but ask yourself: do you feel lucky? Do you? Cat?

Let it be known: I, Lucy Wambat Salmon-Swanson-Sharp, AM STILL HERE!

Memoirs of a barking dog

Woof.

I bark a lot.

When I say a lot you need to understand that I mean A LOT. Seriously. I have a police record and stuff. You could look it up. I'm a serious world-class championship level barker extraordinaire.

Barking fulfills me. See, I was born to run in big circles around sheep or similar and bark and nip. So when I was much much younger that is pretty much what I did all day long. Except without the sheep.

Now I am tired and I don't run as much or as fast, although I can still bop around pretty well if I am motivated enough. Like when my younger cousin Phoebe comes to visit and goes tearing around the yard like I used to. I like to follow her at a safe distance - reminds me of the good old days. She looks at me funny when I bark though. Oh, she barks now and again, but just kind of as a warning or an alert mechanism. There's no passion or artistry in it. She just doesn't feel it like I do. Some of us have the gift; some of us don't.

I could jump too. I could jump so high that I could look over the wall to see what was going on. And bark. Of course.

Woof!