No Pawtographs, Please.

I am a star!

A man came to Mommy's house and took some pictures of me in my backyard. I had to sit still, which was a bummer, but I did it for a few minutes to make Mommy and the fun man happy. Mommy says that I needed to be good for the pictures because I am going to be a famous superstar in a doggie calendar for the local Humane Society. I'm Miss December!

Gee, I wonder if paparazzi will start following me and everyone will read about which toys I tore up this week, what kibble I favor, and who I barked at. I'm a pretty wild and scandalous girl in some ways, with my running and barking and all my boyfriends; Paris, Lindsay and Britney had better make room on those magazine covers right away! Mommy says I'd better stop begging tortilla chips from Alpha Kevin's friends or I'll be in the next "bad beach bodies" issue!

BSL: JUST BS!!!!

Mommy told me something really sad today, and I'm having big problems understanding it. She says that some people are so scared of doggies who are like me or sort of like me that they have made laws saying that the police can come take doggies like me out of their loving homes and then kill them! Yes, they just kill them! Kill good, happy, beloved doggies. Doggies who never bit anyone. Doggies who maybe never did one single thing wrong, not even taking really yummy tempting food off the counter or being too excited and bonking someone with their hard heads. Doggies who just loved their families and were loved in return. Doggies who were some little boy's best friend, or some lonely lady's only friend..... it makes me howl, I'm so sad and mad.

Gosh, I hear that humans are smarter than doggies and know what's best. But sometimes I'm not so sure.

Please, if you are a human and read this, please do what you can to make these laws go away and stop new ones from coming. There are lots of good ways to keep people from being hurt or killed by doggies besides killing innocent doggies. Gosh, when you see that in print these laws so obviously aren't logical that you have to wonder how to woof some good sense to people who clearly don't understand sense! Mommy thinks people in places where they have these laws (or where people are trying to get these laws) should find a sympathetic lawmaker and then get the good doggies right in the houses of the legislatures or the city councils or whatever. Show them the pictures of the little boys and girls who will be hurt for life at the unfair loss of a beloved furbling. Show them the disabled people who will lose their animal assistants, or the sick kids or elderly people who will miss a wonderful therapy dog.

My mommy is so worried about these laws that she usually identifies me as "Shepherd Mix" and doesn't mention anything about my other heritage. She almost started crying today trying to remember how she identified me on my doggie license application. What if they got a BSL where we live, and they only found out I maybe might have something that some people might call "pit bull" in me because Mommy was responsible and got me a license?

Stop this BSL. Please. I'm just a doggie and all I can do is try and be good. But you can write and call and vote and stuff! And, most importantly, you can be a responsible doggie guardian and care for your pets and keep them safe, spayed/neutered, healthy, and well-trained and socialized! The best way to teach people that BSL is BS is to show them excellent doggies!

It's my Six Year Adoptiversary!!!!!!

Today it has been six years since Mommy and I adopted each other (Mommy says it's like forty years in dog years)!!!! Wow, huh? I think it has worked out well. At first I wasn't sure, but I've trained Mommy pretty well and she has turned out to be a good person to live with. For example, yesterday she bought me some new kibble - not sure if it is related to our special day or not, but I like it. It smells like fishes and it tastes really yummy. She also bought some special sauce for putting on my food. She says it has gloocosumme or something like that and that it will be good for my shepherd-shaped back end. When Mommy took me to the vet to get poked and petted this time, the vet lady said I'm almost a senior girl. Not sure what that means, but I think the new food and the special sauce are related.

Anyway, it's a good thing Mommy isn't too sensitive about doggies ignoring her in the play yard at the shelter, or a different doggie would have my beds and my toys and my run!

Uncle Jef!

Super exciting news: Uncle Jef visited! On the weekend, Mommy let me stay and play at Kevin Alpha Dog's house during the day. I like to stay and play at Kevin Alpha Dog's house when he is home during the day because he lets me out in his big yard a lot, and his big yard has lots of lizards and secret hiding places for me to explore. Plus fewer pointy rocks than Mommy's yard, and where there are pointy rocks usually there are also big smooth rocks for dogs to walk on instead. Well and also there are fun climby places but Mommy doesn't like it when I use them to get on top of (or over) the big wall, so I probably shouldn't talk about those.

Anyways when I got back to my house with Alpha Dog Kevin, at first Mommy was not there. I was doing my usual sniffing investigations that I have to do when I get home, when suddenly oh my gosh Uncle Jef came right in the front door! I couldn't help myself, I ran over to him as fast as I could (stupid slippy floor sometimes makes me run like a cartoon dog, Mommy says) and I wriggled around in front of him and made squeaky noises in case he wasn't sure how happy I was to see him.

Uncle Jef also tried to get the sillies out of me like he does, but I hold onto my sillies pretty well.

Jef also said I seemed small compared to Uncle Bob. Not sure I like that. Last time I saw Uncle Bob we were pretty much the same size. I am wondering whether Bob got bigger or I shrunk? I hope I did not shrink. I don't feel smaller!

Jef was here in the day sometimes when Mommy wasn't, and he took me for some rides in the big car, which wasn't as fun as a walk but still was fun and exciting. He also helped me watch for cats. I'm pretty good at it, but I appreciated the help.

It seemed like Jef just got here but then one morning I saw him putting his Jefthings back in his Jefbag and then he and his Jefbag got in the car with Mommy and did not come back with Mommy later.

Oh well. I needed to catch up on my day sleep I guess.

I should start charging for my services

Last week Uncle Bob came to visit with my grandparents and then later also Uncle Jeff. Even though the people say he is my uncle, Uncle Bob is neither older nor wiser than I am. And no way can he do fun things like fly me around and stuff like Uncle Jeff does. In fact, I quickly found that Uncle Bob was desperately in need of instruction from a savvy and sophisticated pup such as I. Oh, sure, Bob can run and get the ball and bring it back. And I hear from Mommy that Bob now brings in the newspaper every day. But I'm talking about USEFUL skills.

For example, Bob only barks when he wants to play. Especially when you don't want to play with him. I had to show him that barking is also highly appropriate when people or especially other dogs - or, needless to say, cats! - walk too close to your house or the yard wall. Bob looked at me funny at first and tried to play with me, but I'll have to say he caught on pretty quickly.

Also, Bob had to learn that there is no playing inside the house. I tried to be consistent about enforcing this rule by ignoring him or making discouraging noises at him when he tried to play with me in the house. But sometimes it was just too exciting and I had to play with him right then.

I also tried to teach Bob about sucking up to the alpha dogs. See, even if you are cute like me, sometimes you have to show the alpha dogs that you can do "good dog" stuff when they ask. The kind of stuff that makes them say "good dog" and give you a treat or pet you on the head. It's not so bad - you only have to do it when they ask, and usually not for very long. Like sit and down and stay and stuff. It helps if you do it quickly and sharply and then look at them to make sure they notice.

Most importantly, I taught Bob how to play tug. Tug is the best. The absolute best. The people are pretty dense about how fun tug is. They tug for a little while, some more than others, but they never really seem to appreciate how much tug rocks. Bob appreciates. Bob appreciates tug almost as much as I do. Sometimes more. We tugged for hours and hours, inbetween wrestling, running, and jumping at each other. I even let Bob win sometimes. Sigh. Tug is the best.

Even though I was not thrilled with Bob when he first arrived (for various reasons that I may tell you in another diary entry if I have time), I was kind of bummed out when Bob had to leave. It is not often I find such an apt and eager student. But I'll have to admit I was sort of part way only pretending to mope, and secretly taking advantage of the chance to rest!

I am a good puppysitter

Mommy has many demands of me and of my busy schedule. She is a nice mommy and all, but sometimes I think she doesn't appreciate everything I do.

Yesterday Alpha Kevin's puppies were on vacation from school but all the big adult people had to go to work. Those puppies can stay home by themselves ok but they feel much safer when there are brave strong doggies around to take care of them. So I sat with those puppies all day yesterday while Mommy and Alpha Kevin were at work. I barked at the pool guy. I barked at people who came to the door to give out booklets. I entertained the puppies by shaking my toys at them and providing something fuzzy and cute for them to pet while they read books and watched TV. I let one of the puppies put a paper hat on my head for a while, but finally I had enough of that. Plus I stayed at their house with them all day. Who knows what nefarious things the lizards and cats were up to at Mommy's house while I was busy with the puppies. The puppies seemed to appreciate me. Alina puppy gave me cheese, for one thing. Mommy almost never gives me cheese.

Then guess what? Alpha Kevin and Mommy arrived and they all took off without me for a long time. They were probably out walking and playing and eating without me. I had to be locked in the doggie jail until after dark. What kind of thanks is that? Then Mommy took me back to her house. No cake, no card, no treat, no special thank you gift. Just a bowl of kibble and some hugs. Sigh.

My new uncle?

Mommy says my grandparents have a new doggie living at their house. His name is Bob and he is a baby dog now but Mommy says one day he will be bigger than I am. She says this is a good thing because it will keep me from getting too uppity with him. We'll see. Since my grandparents are his mommy and daddy, I think that makes him my uncle? And Mommy and Uncle Jeff's brother? Well, he'd better not think being my uncle makes him the boss of me, I'll tell you that right now.

I'll have to say I am a little bit jealous of him because he gets to live at a house with lots of grass outside and where the floors inside give you really good traction! I love the cool floors in my house in the summer, and all the lizards in my yard. Oh and it's really fun to skid on the rugs, especially the one in the entryway. I like to get it all balled up in the corner by the time Mommy gets home. I think it entertains her to straighten it a few times a day. Even though I enjoy all these benefits, the floors at my house are slippy and you can't get up a good speed, and the rocks in the yard are hot and pointy on the paws, which is not so good. So I like to visit my grandparents' house sometimes.

Tucson Summer Dogku

Mommy's mad at me
Because thunder makes me bark
It is so scary

But I am not scared
My barks make it go away
At least at some point

In the night it comes
Loud and boomy in the sky
Makes me run and cry

Lightning's evil too!
It comes first and then the crack
Or the big big booms

Mommy, understand
Doggie tries to protect you
(And herself) from booms

What if they get us?
That would be worse than no sleep
Don't you think, Mommy?

Alpha dog says I
Should fear him more than thunder
I cannot decide.

For now I will bark
To make the booms go away
Later you can scold

Grrrr cats

Cats are evil. No offense to those of you who have cat "friends" or "family" (watch your backs, I'm telling you! you can't trust a cat!), but cats are evil and sneaky and taunt dogs just for the fun of it, which is just wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong.

The other day in the very early morning I was peacefully sleeping on my dog bed in my Mommy's room when suddenly I could hear a cat walking around near my house. I ran outside to my run and there was a fluffy gray cat sitting on the wall just outside the chain link fence of my run in the corner. Can you believe the nerve? I tried to bark that cat away politely, but the cat was not so polite at all and just stayed there. So I had to bark more, and jump and howl. I guess I must have woken Mommy up, because she came outside to see what was wrong. She also asked the cat politely to leave but the cat just stayed there, staring at me. Mommy kind of likes cats for some unknown reason and I have seen her petting them (!!!!!) out in front of our house, but I could tell she wanted that cat to go away right then so that she could go back to sleep. Mommy even got the broom and waved it in the cat's general direction, but that cat stayed put. I was thinking Mommy should let the broom get the cat like brooms can do at any moment, but she didn't seem to want to let that happen.

So it was up to me. I kept jumping and jumping but my dog house and the chain link barrier of my run were in the way so I couldn't just climb up on the wall and chase the cat away. Finally I jumped really hard and managed to get my hind legs on top of the doghouse and my front paws smacked up against the chain link right next to that bad cat. And the cat finally saw reason and ran away. For now.

But, I tell you, it's a constant battle. They walk in my front yard. They walk in my back yard. They walk on the wall. They look at me. I try and try to bark them away but they are very slow and rude and do not respond to my polite requests. At all. Lucky for them Mommy has windows and doors and fences and leashes to keep me from getting closer to them, or I'd teach a cat or two some manners once and for all!

I Don't THINK So, Curly Dog

Some dogs like the water. Some dogs, like my friend Rocky, for example, jump right into the swimming pool and paddle along like the Queen Mary, or head straight for the splashiest waves with glee. Not me. I hate getting wet. I keep my distance from Mommy when she's watering the plants, and I stay far far away from the big water pit at Alpha Dog Kevin's house. And being tied up and squirted and soaked with water repeatedly IN FRONT OF OTHER DOGS WHO JUST STAND THERE WATCHING AS IF MOCKING ME? That's serious bad news, even if I do get brushed and petted a lot during the experience.

Yeah, Mommy gave me a bath this weekend. Oh boy. It started out so well, with the leash coming out, and then a ride in the dog bin in the back of Mommy's bigger car. Then we went into this place where there were a couple of other dogs. The first bad sign was the fuzzy small grey very wet dog being restrained in a big silver tub by his people. I was looking around pretty anxiously, but then I saw this big curly-haired black dog wandering around the shop, completely dry. This dog came over and we sniffed a bit while Mommy was talking to some lady and doing some stuff. I figured I was ok. Nope.

Mommy and the lady took me and made me climb into one of the big silver bins and put a small short leash on me that they hooked into the bin so I couldn't go anywhere. I couldn't even look around much. But I could see that big curly-haired black dog watching me and smirking. Then Mommy got me all wet and rubbed soap and stuff all over me. The rubbing wasn't bad, but all the water stuff seemed to take forever. Finally she let me out of the bin and tied me up where she blew some air at me for a long time and rubbed me with a towel. I have to say that part was somewhat nice, but by then I was pretty annoyed and feeling pretty frisky on top of it. So when that curly dog came around again to "watch" me (mock me), I had to bark it away.

Then it was all over and Mommy bought me a present because I always deserve a present. While Mommy was getting the present, I tried to romp with curly dog, but curly dog wasn't such hot stuff once I wasn't wet and on a short leash, let me tell you. Curly dog took one look at my romping style and went behind a wall! Ha.

The good news is that the ordeal is behind me and now I'm super pretty, if I do say so myself. Mommy says she forgot how shiny and black my fur really is when it's not coated with layers of Arizona dust. But even though Mommy brushed another dog's worth of shed fur off me, I'm still leaving behind tumbleweeds of fuzz wherever I go!