Does it ever really change

I stand corrected

March 14th 2012 6:15 pm
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So things do change... Maybe for the better we don't know yet. Mom lost her job a few weeks ago, and it's been nice to have her home with me. She's been extra worried about money but that isn't anything terribly new. I've been extra busy lately helping her, but it's alright because she's also taken me for more long walks and spent time just being my mom.

Unfortunately she has been trying to figure out how to afford a brother or sister for me who can take over my job when I get older. I keep telling her she needn't worry because I'm never getting old and I'm gonna help her forever... I know... but I can dream right? It was rough watching her get her heart set on a puppy then lose her job and any chance of enough income to afford this sibling of mine.

So mom and I have been to a number of interviews and that has been a different sort of challenge. The people who call mom in to talk to her always seem so dismayed when they see me. I just don't understand it?? I'm really good and it's not like I will be a bother, I'm so much help for mom. She tells me that it is just the way things are but I don't know that I agree with her. She and I have come so far together it seems silly that these people can't see how great I am.

We're going to a new mental health doctor who I'm not sure I like, every time we go I stand in front of mom between her and the strange doctor. This new doctor doesn't actually believe in the use of service dogs but the rest of the office seems to be on board as well as moms therapist so I suppose everything will be alright. I have got to learn to make sure mom takes her meds since otherwise she tends to forget but that's fun.

Mom has been teaching me stuff she calls 'non' tasks... stuff she doesn't need me to do for her but that we both enjoy because it's just fun. She also drug out the agility equipment just for me and I've gotten to play on it more in the last weeks. Mom said we wouldn't be competing (which is a shame because I love it when people watch and cheer me on) but it was fun anyway.

I guess that's all for now cause I just can't think of any new updates.

 

September 3rd 2011 2:39 pm
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The moment Mom thinks she has a handle on things, something else falls apart. About two weeks ago mom had a bad episode with her depression and was briefly put on suicide watch. I could have told them all that mom wasn't up for suicide (hiding in the bedroom if I'd let her maybe, but suicide just isn't in her bag of tricks) It took several days for the doctor that was treating her to realize that all the people hoovering was actually making the issue worse. After two days of peace and quiet mom was back on track.

She's been having a few balance issues and I worry about her. I try to lean on her knee to help her but mom is discouraging me, tells me I'm just not big enough. The new meds have mom completely strung out so I have to be extra careful to make sure she's not busy doing repetitive behaviors and to watch for people coming up today.

Last night there was a big storm and my brother, who's really scared bit me. I have a place on my face just below my eye that needed stitches... mom was really upset. Right now I can't see out of my left eye and mom is fretting over me. Make's it hard when I know I'm supposed to be the one worrying about her.

Least I know I'm well loved.

 

The Air up there

July 19th 2011 9:42 pm
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Talk about a ringer of a day. Have I ever mentioned that I hate the heat?... if not here it is. I Hate the heat. The air conditioning has gone out at the house and mom and I nearly roasted today. We would have gone out for the day but honestly it wouldn't be fair to my siblings (at least that's what mom said... I wasn't thinking that straight) Looks like tomorrow is going to be another hot day, mom says we might take my sibs down to the barn and crate them since it's always about fifteen degrees cooler there than the house in the summer. Though she mentioned a swim, I'm guessing the swim won't happen. Mom's just not a big fan of swimming but swimming in the creek in this heat sure sounds like a better option than roasting in the house.

Once it cooled down enough for mom to feel safe leaving everyone at home, we went out for a little time at the local walmart. About the only thing good about that place is that it's open 24 hours a day. It's amazing that mom's not the only one running around in the wee hours of the night.

Her insomnia has been acting up again as well as her panicking at night. I think I had to get up ten or eleven times the other night to cut the lights on and then check the house. I don't mind, during the day I get to crash at her feet while she's working on projects. The doctors are trying to adjust her meds to get her to sleep but this just makes her cranky... I don't blame her. She takes them and turns into a zombie, or doesn't and can't sleep at all. Neither are good options.

I've been working on my "find" for the last few weeks and made what mom called a fantastic leap from finding toys and keys and remotes to finding people I knew. Mom's so pleased with me but she calls me the boy wonder for a reason. She says this brings my 'tricks' up to 72 non standard commands, am I awesome or what?

Now just cross your paws that we figure out something about that dratted air....

 

2 + 2 = ?

July 9th 2011 3:46 pm
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Sometimes it seems like you add 2 and 2 only to come up with 13. It seemed to be one of those days for mom. Nothing was going wrong, but nothing was going particularly right either. I was having trouble on my own, everything was so interesting, I just was having a hard time concentrating. You know how one thing seems to snow ball right into another, it seemed to be just like that. A really stupid man at the grocery store tried to grab my leash from mom and kept saying that I was his. He was clearly not right since I've been with mom since I was born. Still you have to feel bad for him. How would you like to lose that perfect person? I know I'd be crushed if I lost my mom.

Then there was the funny woman at the gas station who just Knew I was a golden collie mix... and told mom that border collies only came in one color so mom didn't know what she was talking about. Mom did well, I was proud of her, she neither panicked nor yelled at the silly woman. She managed to ignore her until she was finished with getting our gas then we were able to go off and get more interesting things done.

Mom took me by the pet store so I could pick myself a toy on the way home. It's nice to have a mom who thinks of things like that. Now I'm crashed out over mom's feet while I squeak my new hairy monkey toy.

 

Down time is important

June 30th 2011 11:15 pm
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Mom and I had a nearly peaceful day today. Being able to just chill out with her at the bookstore where she could pull her legs up and just be left alone for the most part was wonderful. And being able to watch the world move on around me was interesting enough to keep my attention.

The medications are still being a pain and between the dizziness and the nausea it has made everything harder to put in perspective. With all the drama in our lives right now sometimes it's nice to just take some time out to smell the flowers, so that's what we did on the way home.

We stopped at the local botanical gardens and got a chance to talk to their master gardener in charge of the roses. Mom loves roses and gardening and she got an offer for some clippings. This is some of the best news we've had in months... perhaps a few years even since the fire damage from the drought caused fire's took out mom's roses. All this flower stuff honestly bores me but it makes mom awesomely happy which is great. When we got home I got to play ball and play some fun games of search.

Let's hear it for a completely unproductive day that was useful only because it was stress free.

 

On Love, and on life

June 27th 2011 10:30 pm
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No one every really accepts what it feels like to lose someone you love until their gone. Gone and not coming back, and each of us accepts this differently. Mom's battled with it for longer than I've been alive, she tells me that before I was born that there was a wonderful person that she shared her life with. All I know is this love stuff seems painful since mom still cries at times and wants to cuddle.

Her friends told her to get over it long enough that they decided to leave her alone. I know, not right huh? Well actually mom things that they were fair enough since for a few years she didn't want to talk to them at all. Sad part is that now mom is finely realizing that she's lonely, but how do you get over such a big life change? I don't have any answers for her.

It was like that when we lost my furry mom, who was with my human one before me. We both were depressed.. it's hard to believe she's been gone more than a year now. She died the night of my human mom's grandmother's funeral, that was actually my first public outing as official first dog. It was sad, mom hadn't cried until the funeral when the preacher (mom's great uncle) did the service. Then we came home to realize that My mom was going into respiratory failure.

Anyway the whole point of all this drama is that Mom was trying to tell me today that love makes you stronger. And that you never really lose anyone, that they live on inside me. We went out with one of mom's old friends who spotted me as my mom's son even though she'd never met me. They say I look like my mom (though I'm not sure how since I'm sable and mom was black) but more than that that I act like my mom. I guess that just means I have some big paws to fill.

 

Do doctors ever get it right?

June 24th 2011 9:32 am
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Mom and I had one of those dreaded trips to the doctor yesterday... well it didn't used to be dreaded before we fell on hard times and had to start seeing the public aided doctors. This one is just a quack... I mean honestly, he even hates me and people who use dogs like me as an excuse to get pity. (his words not mine) At least since he's just the psychologist he can't do anything about taking me away since I'm also for mom's medical issues.

He had decided that despite all medical records, police reports, hospital reports, and other information that mom is full of herself and that the previous doctor that diagnosed her is wrong. That she doesn't have PTSD and she's just a paranoid Schizophrenic. What? Really? So now despite the fact that mom has no symptoms what so ever he wants to put her on new meds (which are old meds that the previous doctor tried for her bi-polar), that didn't work the first time around and are making her feel awful.

It sucks when doctors won't listen to their patients and when they decide that they are all important gods because they're degree.

Mom and I will muddle through but this defiantly doesn't leave her feeling much like getting out.

 

Fun at Federal Buildings

June 21st 2011 10:06 am
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I have decided as of today that I really hate lines... no really, they are absolutely awful and terribly boring. Mom had to take me to court today and I was of course as always wonderful. I even did a long down with nothing on while mom discussed service dog equipment with the clerks operating the xray machine's and metal detector. Mom always takes my equipment off and sends it through on the belt since a fake handler smuggled a knife in under his 'service dogs' equipment last year.

I was a perfect angel heeling through the metal detector even though the monster... I mean kid behind us was trying to pull my tail. Other than the lines I always have fun at the court house, and mom doesn't mind them since most of the officers are normally really nice and my favorite one slipped mom part of a biscuit for me for later.

So far it's been a good day and it's only 1.. so we'll see how the rest of it goes, mom promised we'd go play later when it cools off.

 

June 19th 2011 10:35 pm
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Today was a really nasty day for mom, weather kept changing from wet to hot to wet back to hot. It was a 'dizzy' day which means she needed to lean on me more than normal but that's fine because I enjoy when mom needs me. But she was shoved... no really shoved. We were standing in line at the store and a woman asked to pet me. Mom politely told her no and went back to paying attention to the line, then without warning the woman shoved mom... went on to yell about how mom didn't need to be rude that she was being spoken too. Yes mom got help, but no it defiantly didn't help either of us feel better about the human race as a whole.

On a good news front I've finely figured out how to get those round door knobs open. I don't think mom is as pleased with this as I am, but now I can get in the room whenever I want. I climbed in the tub with mom this afternoon because she was crying... which made her laugh even if she did have to dry off my hair afterwards.

Always good to end the day with a laugh.

 
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