Beagle Heaven!

There's an alien in my house.

There's an alien in my house. Mommy calls it "munchkin." Daddy calls it "sweet pea." I call it weird.

In February, Mommy and Daddy went to the hospital. I thought they were going to bring home my sister. Whatever this thing is, it isn't what I expected.

The alien smelled really weird to me. I always thought that, since Mommy kept promising me a sister, she would smell like me. Not so. She smells sort of like Mommy. I smell much better.

The alien is really noisy sometimes. It's also very hungry. It demands food every three hours, sometimes sooner. Mommy says, "Don't worry, Boogs, it will get easier." I say, "Mommy, you're nuts."

Anyway, all things considered, I guess it is pretty cute. It smiles a lot and makes funny sounds, but I keep my distance. I'm never sure when its tentacles are going to pull my ears or tail. Mommy says that in a few more months it will be dropping lots of nummies on the floor for me. I'm holding out for the good stuff.

Puppy kisses for all (and to all a close encounter with a third kind).

It's a....

GIRL!

I'm getting a sister in February. Her name is Angela Danielle.

Mommy was really sick for a long time, but now that she's feeling better she says I can go on the computer m0re often and update everyone about the new arrival.

We are all excited!

Puppy kisses for all (and to all a little miracle!)

What's wrong with my Mommy?

I think something's wrong with my Mommy.

She smells funny. She's acting funny. She's looking funny, too. And even she says she's feeling funny.

Mommy says I'm going to have a fur-less brother or sister.

I say, cool! Bring it on! When does it get here?

Mommy says not till February. That's a long time. Why do I have to wait that long?

Mommy says it's all part of nature.

Nature is pretty awesome, huh?

Puppy kisses to all (and to all some high hopes and dreams!)

So unfair.

So I spend a few days with Gramma and Grampa, like I do every week, and when I come home, what happens? Grampa and my Daddy work in the garage ALL DAY LONG. Sure, pay no mind to the poor little beagle whom you haven't seen for three days, DADDY. Humph. Mommy took me upstairs for some BEAGLE CRAZY TIME, but I wanted no part. All I wanted was to walk around howling and baying because Daddy is outside and I'm not. In fact, they're STILL out there. So what if the garage door opener and security light stopped working simultaneously! I'm the beagle! That should be all that matters!

So, anyway, I found my Wormy. But who cares. I'm not gonna play with it till Daddy comes back in. I'm officially on strike! (My appologies to Wormy.)

Puppy kisses for all (and to all a little boycotting of pleasant behavior!!)

Dude, where's my Wormy?

I can't find my Wormy. This is a disaster of catastrophic proportions. If I don't have my Wormy, how can I have CRAZY BEAGLE time?! I've looked under the couch, at the bottom of my toy basket, in the yard, upstairs in the office, under Mommy and Daddy's bed...no Wormy. Wormy is bright green...you would think it would be harder than this to lose him. I've sent Daddy back to the store to pick up his replacement. In the meantime, I'm sitting by the window, twiddling my unopposable thumbs, waiting patiently. Oh, Wormy! What a disservice I've done you in being careless! This situation calls for shredding a squeeky....

Puppy kisses for all (and to all some [insert your breed here] CRAZY-TIME toys!)

Yappy Thanksgiving!

Sorry it's been so long since I've barked anything here! Times are busy right now at my house...my Mommy got a new job and we've all been preparing for her big transition on Monday. Mommy says we have lots to be thankful for this year, so I think I'll make you a list of all the things I'M thankful for....

1. Treats
2. Treats
3. Treats
4. My YARD!
5. Squirrels!!
6. Warm blankies
7. Being spoiled (most of the time)
8. Did I mention treats yet?
9. The kitty who has been leaving me lots of nice sniffs outside
10. I wouldn't be very thankful if I didn't include my mommy and daddy, grammas and grampas, and all my cool pals here on Dogster! BAAA-ROOOO!

Puppy kisses for all (and to all some extra treats today!)

Mmmmmm. Steak and Cake.

Hi pals. Today is a special day at my house. It's my Mommy and Daddy's first wedding anniversary! I'm planning to use this day to my advantage. I hear there will be a STEAK dinner this evening, and afterwards CAKE! I'm drooling already! Mommy says she feels like she and Daddy have been married forever. I say whatevs, Mommy, if you felt that way there shoulda been more nummy-ous celebrations along the way. BWAHAHA!

Lots of NUMMIES to all (and throw in some true love, too, just to keep the celebrations coming!!! *snicker*)

That's enough already!

Mommy, put that camera down! I know I'm devastatingly cute and all, but do you really have to keep snapping away at every little move I make? Sheesh.

Puppy kisses for all (and to all a model debut)!

BOO on vet visits!!

Hi doggies! Long time no bar-OOOOOOO! Anyways, yesterday I had to go to the vet. I was due for my yearly booster shots (eeeeek!), and lately I've been having these weird itchies. I've got spots on my belly that I like to itch a lot, so they were kind of red and irritated. The vet thinks I have an allergy. I have my suspicions as to what I'm allergic to. Here's a theoretical list, in no particular order of importance:

Not getting enough doggie treats
Being seriously under my allowance of people food
Getting too many baths (excuse me, twice a month is just too often!)
Getting my teeth brushed
Being groomed (booooooo!)
Not being allowed to roll in stinky stuff
Not being allowed to eat stinky stuff
Not enough peanut butter in my diet
Getting that STICKY STUFF down my back

and last, but not least...
SWIMMING!

And the vet thinks I'm allergic to pollen. What a stinker she is. If she only knew the complete history of the terrible things I've been exposed to, she may have prescribed me less baths and more food instead of those silly allergy pills. BWAHAHAHAA!

Puppy kisses for all (and to all some laughter - it's the best medicine!)

The Horrors of the BIGGEST BATH TUB EVER.

Hi pooches! Sorry it's been so long since I've barked and all, but now that I have my own house there's lots to be done! Bark at the neighbors, bark at birds, bark at squirrles, bark at twigs in the yard....you know, the usual.

So anyway, I had a new experience last week. Gramma and Grampa S. got something called a "swimming pool." At first I thought, "HOOO YAH! A swimming pool! ALLRIGHT! Wait a minute, what's swimming?..."

Frankly, doggies, it's a question I wish I'd never asked. It turns out that swimming is a LOT like getting a BATH, except....DUN DUN DUNNNNN (scary music)......it's like getting a bath in the BIGGEST bathtub you've ever seen! OOOOH the HORROR!! I couldn't swim fast enough...all I wanted was to get OUT of the pool. But Mommy and Daddy just stood there and laughed the whole time. I SWEAR those two have a conspiracy to torture me! When they finally realized I couldn't take any more of that Boogle abuse, they let me out and I made a beeline to roll in some smelly stuff. (Hey, payback stinks! Literally!) However, that actually got me nowhere, as I received a second round of torture when I got home: a REAL bath! Boo on baths, and all bath-like activities!!

Well, I hope all you Dogsters are having a great summer! It's time for me to go veg in front of the AC vent!

Puppy kisses for all (and to all a good shake-off and a beach towel)!

My Tail of Devotion for Basil

This is a special Tail of Devotion

See All Tails of Devotion

I know something you don't know!

I know what Skye's new BOTM is gonna be! BWAHAHAHAHA! All of you pups will just have to wait.

But I'll give you a hint...it has six legs and it's YUMMY! Figure that one out.

Puppy kisses for all (and to all some nummy critters)!

Long time no BARK!

HEY PUPS! Guess what! I finally got my own HOUSE with my own YARD. Yes, it's true. I have been helping my Mommy and Daddy move, which is why I'm so beat. It sure is hard bein' a boogle!

So anyway, Mommy and Daddy have been "too busy" to take lots of pictures, but Daddy managed to snap that funny one of me sleeping on Mommy's lap the other day. That lasted a whole five seconds before I went back to being a CRAZY BEAGLE.

Guess what! Me and Skye's birthday is this Thursday. I hear Gramma's gonna give me my present then, but she has big shoes to fill since Mommy gave me a SQUEEKY BUNNY this week! BWAHAHA! I'm so spoiled it's not even funny. OOH..gotta go bark at the neighbors!

Puppy kisses for all!!!

Gimme some new pictures already.

I think the point has been made about how humiliating that sweater was on me. Now get the camera out, Mommy!

Anyway, I'd like to wish all my pals a very happy belated EATS-ter. I hope it was as wonderful and treat-filled for you as it was for me. Jelly beans for dinner? Why not!

We are still on the verge of moving here at Basil T. Beagle's place, and we are one day closer to getting my yard! I'll be posting pictures soon of me frolicking in the tickly greens! BWAHAHA!

Puppy kisses for all (and to all some leftover candy)!

Back in my own bed.

Well, doggies, it has been an interesting couple of weeks. My mommy and daddy have been busy, busy, busy, searching for a yard for me. A yard all my own to play in and pee on! And while they were doing all this searching, I stayed with Gramma and Grampa S. I am always very well fed there, so I don't mind a bit. Nevertheless, it's nice to sleep in my own bed again for a change.

So anyway, about this yard. Fortunately for my Mommy and Daddy it comes with a house! I suppose I don't mind if they live there with me. I mean, after all, they ARE the ones who buy the dog food. Compromises to ownership are slim when getting fed is at stake.

So when are we moving into my yard, er, house you ask? We'll start around the beginning of May and finish around the end of May. Wooohooo! There's no time to waste! Pack up my crate! I'm coming HOME! BWAHAHAHHA!!

Puppy kisses for all (and to all a place of your own)!

Thank you, Seva.

Regurgitated leaves do, in fact, stay down.

They even taste a little better than the first time around!

What wise and wonderful friends I have. Always looking out for a young Boogle.

*snicker*snicker*

Leaves.

I like leaves. They're pretty. They smell good.

They taste even better.

I like leaves from the trees outside, or leaves from our fern inside. I'm not picky. They all taste pretty good to me.

The problem is, the leaves usually come back up. In the hallway. At 3 a.m. I haven't figured out how to get them to stay down yet. But I'll let you know.

Mommy and Daddy are less than thrilled that I eat leaves. Sometimes I surprise them and eat leaves when they're not looking. Then I leave them a surprise in the hallway. Or, when I'm feeling really exhuberant, I'll charge the fern and stick my whole head in. This usually merits a big time-out, and someone holding me down to scrape as many leaves as they can out of my mouth before I swallow them all. Oooooh, but it's sooo worth it.

Mommy says eating leaves is not good for me. I say, "They tastes good, how can they not be good for me?" Mommy says, "Lots of things that taste good aren't good for you, Boogs." I say, "You humans are nuts."

Things are much different from a Boogle's perspective.

Puppy kisses for all (and to all some good eats)!

Long time no bark!

Sorry, pals. I've been a little lax lately. To tell you the truth, I've been quite busy. Hiding under the bed and tearing up the underside of the mattress foundation is tough work. BWAHAHAA!

So anyways, life is good. Except for the fact that it's still winter (apparently, given the SNOW outside). But other than that, no real complaints. For a change. *snicker*

So, um, yeah, sixteen more days 'till St. Patty's day! WOOOHOOOO! Nobody pinch me. I'm gonna eat some grass. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHHAA!

Puppy kisses for all (and to all some Irish spirit)!

Smoochy Poochy!

Valentine's Day is right around the corner! Anyone wanting a big wet one can line up at my crate. This free service is brought to you by Lickers Anonymous!

Puppy kisses for all (and to all some well-deserved affection)!

TRUCE!

Okay, okay. They took the Christmas Tree down. And cleaned the heck outta the apartment, I must say. Mommy is in spring clean mode. Personally, I think it's a little silly. It's just gonna get dirty and disorganized again. Why not just deal with it? There's more fun things to do, like chase your tail. Bonus points if you catch it, double bonus points if it's Friday night! BWAHAHA!

Puppy kisses for all (and to all some much-needed goofing off)!

Oh Christmas Tree, Oh Christmas Tree....

....Why don't you get out of my living room already?

It's time I taught my Mommy and Daddy a lesson about laziness. Laziness is defined as letting your Christmas Tree stay up until Valentine's Day. Pretty soon it will be an Easter Tree, and before that, a St. Patrick's Day Tree (it's already green, so it's halfway there). If we're not careful, it will become like one of those dreaded plastic geese, with a different outfit for every holiday and season. *shudder*

So, I have taken up the art of learning to lift my leg. If they can be lazy, so can I! Who needs grass down three flights of stairs when there's a perfectly good rest area right in my living room? Ah, the comforts of home. I expect my perch by the sliding glass door to be returned to me before the weekend. *snicker*

Puppy kisses for all (and to all some extended holiday cheer)!

Those two just HAD a vacation!!

And now they're about to do it again. It's the same story as last time: "The hotel DOESN'T ALLOW dogs." Pssssssh. Whatever. Talk to the paw.

Mommy and Daddy are headed for Pittsburgh this weekend. Without me. As I seem to recall, they JUST TOOK a vacation. Like three months ago. Without me. All I have to say is, don't plan on bringing home any T-shirts, Daddy. *Snicker*Snicker*

Of course, staying with Gramma and Grampa S. isn't all bad. There's the space heater, for one. And my buddy King lives there. Man, he and I are gonna get shnookered on rawhides this Saturday and bark about how the humans just cut themselves out of the picture whenever they darn well please. The nerve those two have.

Puppy kisses for all (and to all a nice getaway)!

Hey, I thought all this wedding stuff was over.

Today Mommy went to get "fitted" for a wedding. More specifically, she went to get fitted for Aunt Lindsay and Uncle Steve's wedding, which is in July. Me and Aunt Lindsay have always been buds - she snuggled me a lot when I was just a wee pup. Oh, and I've had a series of rendezvous with her left leg. It's better if I don't elaborate any further. So anyway, there's gonna be more wedding stuff going on. Just indirect wedding stuff. I hope married life is as good for Auntie Lindsay and Uncle Steve as it is for my Mommy and Daddy.

A big, belated HAPPY NEW YEAR to all my pals here on Dogster. It's been a while since I've barked in my diary, but there's been a lot going on in the Stump household. It looks like it's gonna be a busy year!

Today was the first nice day we've had in a while, so Daddy took me to the park when he got home from work. There were so many new sniffs there my nose almost exploded trying to take them all in at once! My day ended tragically, however, as I was subjected to a bath as soon as we returned home. Apparently the warm, rainy January we are experiencing has made mud ever more prevalent, and I came home covered with it. Well, I guess what doesn't kill you will only make you....complain more! BWAHAHA!

Puppy kisses for all (and to all a great 2006)!

Oh, yeah. P.S. CONGRATS ON DOG OF DAY, SKYESER. So Catahoulas CAN win that afterall. Hmmm. (BWAHAHAA...JUST KIDDING, CUZ'!)

*COUGH*COUGH*HAK*HAK*

^ That is my Mommy. She is sick. She came home at noon today, and, instead of going back to work, snuggled with me on the couch. Pure bliss, except for her noisy coughing.

Anyway, I wanted to tell EVERYDOGGIE to enter the DOGSTER KC PHOTO CONTEST. You sill have lots of time to enter, so just CLICK HERE to get started. When you get the photo you'd like to submit, simply upload it to your Dogster page and TAG it Dogster KC. It's gonna be so much fun, there are already so many beee-yooo-tee-ful doggies who've entered!!

Well, it's off to Gramma's house with Daddy for me. Gotta sniff out some presents he has for Mommy hiding in his old bedroom. They need to be chew-tested before she can open them!

Puppy kisses for all (and to all some OJ and Chicken Noodle)!

Neener, neener, neeeeeeeeeeeener.

Hey, Mommy. I changed it myself. So there.




PLLLLLBBBBTTTT.

What?!

If you look at the top of my page, you will see that my intelligence level has been lowered a few notches. I am deeply offended by this, and I'll explain to you the ridiculous scenario that caused my Mommy to say, "I guess he's not so bright after all."

I entered the back yard this morning to take care of business, when lo and behold, I saw something completely out of place. It was sticking up out of the snow, staring me down, challenging me to a brawl. I could see its eyes glowing red, its blue and white skin glistening under the falling snow. I approached it with utmost caution, making sure to keep assured distance in case it decided to strike me or my Mommy. My hackles were up clear down the length of my back. I growled, and performed my stalking strategy in order to make this foreign thing know who was boss - sneak up, back away, bay. Sneak up, back away, bay. It didn't budge.

Meanwhile, I could almost hear Mommy's eyes rolling in her head. "Basil," she said, "It's nothing. Leave it and get busy."

"I AM busy," I retorted, to which I finally lept up and grabbed this strange, unexplained being straight out of the snow. It was an empty coffee creamer bottle. "OOOOOOHH," I exclaimed, in pure and utter relief, "A NEW TOY!" I then proceeded, as any Boogle in his right mind would, to fling my new-found treasure around in joy and glee.

Appartently I ignored the "business" I was supposed to be doing, in favor of bounding around in the snow for fifteen minutes with my new toy. Eventually I was made to drop it and go back inside, with my Mommy at my side muttering under her breath. And now as I sit here gawking at my lowered intelligence level, I feel a sense of sadness. To think I was so courteous as to protect my beloved Mommy from potential danger....and this is my compensation.

You know, I could prove my smarts by changing the status myself, but I think I'd rather sulk and allow my Mommy some time to reflect on how badly she has damaged my poor ego. Trust me, I will get my fair rating back. I'm working on learning to open the fridge door, and I'm sure my Mommy and Daddy will be impressed enough to give me some more credit!

Puppy kisses for all (and to all a higher IQ score)!

The Christmas Tree.

As you all have probably noticed, I have some new pictures. Mommy bought me a jingle bell collar. What's even worse, is she made me wear it while she took my picture. Over and over and over and over. It does sound pretty cool, like a jingle bell wreath is floating all over the apartment as I run around. I'm sure the people who live downstairs are thrilled.

Anyway, our Christmas tree is up, as you may also have deduced from my new photos. This year Gramma and Grampa D. got a new tree, so they gave their old one to Mommy and Daddy. This tree is MUCH bigger than our old one, both in height and girth. It calls for a keen eye to watch it. I just didn't trust the old tree, and was constantly scoping it out for any legs or limbs it may have been sprouting. Although I am a tad less paranoid this year (seeing as the old Christmas tree never once bit me), I still feel the need to be on patrol when in the living room. You never know when it's going to invade the fridge and eat all the food.

On a happy note, I got some CHICKEN this evening. I also managed to chew up both blankets that were placed in my crate this week. It's been good times, folks!

Puppy kisses for all (and to all lots of holiday cheer)!

The Bad Boogle (Part Two).

It was an accident, I swear.

You know, you humans ought to try relieving yourselves barefoot out in the freezing cold. It's not fun. Every time I come in from out there I'm limping. So, I thought finding a warmer spot would make the task a little easier on everyone. No one has to put on a coat and a hat and boots and gloves, and I don't have to subject my poor wittle puppy feet to the torture of snow and freezing temperatures.

It just so happened that when I needed to go the most, I was lying in the bed that Mommy and Daddy sleep in when they visit Gramma and Grampa S. If you're like me and have educated yourself on the potential dangers of holding it too long, then you know there's no time like the present.

The thing is, Daddy has to work 12 hour shifts straight through the weekend. And he was just getting ready for bed. You could say he wasn't as relieved as I was. *Snicker*

So, it's back to thrusting me outside in inclement weather every hour on the dot. I guess maybe I should have been a little more considerate. I could have at least used the carpet instead.

Puppy kisses for all (and to all some better manners)!

The Bad Boogle, the TV Cabinet, and the Thigh Master.

First of all, this entry will have a point to it.

To start with, I was a bad, bad Boogle last weekend. So bad that I might not be invited to Thanksgiving dinner. Oh, how that breaks my heart! Anyway, I had a little reversion to puppyhood. Daddy left a little something-something on the kitchen table while he and I were visiting Gramma and Grampa S., and when he went out to the garage to take a cell phone call, I quickly stole it. And chewed it up. And left it in pieces on the floor. "What was it you stole, Mr. Basil?," you ask. Well, I'll get to that in a minute. First let me remind you that I've gotten in trouble plenty of times for stealing stuff off the kitchen table. Papers. Napkins. Grampa's heart medication. You know, the works. Somehow it just doesn't sink in with me. On this particular day, Daddy made the mistake of placing on the table the only souvenir he bought while he and Mommy were honeymooning in Nashville - his Wild Horse Saloon T-shirt. It's not my fault that was the only souvenir he got. I do admit, however, that maybe it was a little inappropriate for me to destroy it. It was equally inappropriate for Daddy to ignore me for a whole five minutes while he talked on the phone, though. So I guess i don't really feel bad about it. *Snicker*

In other news, the TV cabinet that Mommy and Daddy bought forever ago is finally home in our apartment. It was white when Mommy and Daddy first bought it at a furniture outlet, and Daddy refinished it black to match the rest of our furniture (my furniture). It's gigantic, but I suspect I can have it completely destroyed in a couple of weeks. I'll keep you all posted.

Finally, I found a Thigh Master in the yard this afternoon. At least I think that's what it is. Somebody just left it lying out in the yard. It's hot pink. And yellow. I'm not really sure I like it there. I did my impersonation of a stegosaurus when I first noticed it. Mommy wouldn't let me sniff it. "You don't know where that thing has been!" she says. She's probably right. Heehee.

Well, it's time for me to go mooch some spaghetti. I hear it's made with ground TURKEY! Gobble gobble gobble!

Puppy kisses for all (and to all lots of Thanksgiving nummies)!

Oh, to be king.

I must say, I am very much enjoying married life.

That is, the married life of my Mommy and Daddy. *Snicker*

Now that there is no wedding to plan, there's more free time to be had around the homefront. That doesn't mean Mommy and Daddy aren't busy with things such as work and family. It does mean, however, that I get to spend a lot more QT with them nowadays.

Take, for instance, the fact that Daddy rented four movies last week. While he and Mommy watched them peacefully on the sofa, I was given an abundance of rawhides and other tasty snacks to keep me busy. After the snacks, I was permitted to drape myself over Mommy and Daddy's laps and snooze and listen to Mommy say things like, "Awwww, look how cute he is," and "What a sweet puppy." I was doused with kisses and belly rubs and the like, covered up with blankets, and allowed to snuggle for as long as I pleased. This, my friends, is life fit for royalty.

So this morning, as I am polishing my crown, I think I will find a sunny spot in the living room and revel in the good life. Oh, to be king.

Puppy kisses for all (and to all one big happy family)!

They DID it!!!

My Mommy and Daddy did it.....they GOT MARRIED! I will let my Mommy type for a while, she wants to tell everyone about the big day! But first, please look at some pictures from the wedding. (Click on October Fifteenth 05.)

Barbara says....
When I opened my eyes early on the morning of October 15th, 2005, I was delighted to see rays of sunshine peeking up through the horizon. The weather had been nothing but dismally rainy and cold all week, and the weather reports had not indicated that it would let up until Friday afternoon. I didn't get my hopes up, but somehow we got lucky. The wedding was definitely NOT planned outdoors, but our theme was all about the beauty of the season, and I really had my heart set on sunshine. By a stroke of pure luck, I got it.

I have to be totally honest and say that I was not the least bit nervous. On the edge, yes, but I figured if anything was going to go wrong that I'd have to get past it. So many terrible things happened this year. I just wanted one perfect day.

I took a shower, put on jeans and a button-down shirt, and went to get my hair done. It turned out even better than I had hoped, and I rushed home to do makeup. Mom and I made it to the church just in time to get me into my gown. The hairdresser, a family friend for twenty years, came to the church to put in my veil. My mom and maid of honor and I sat the dressing parlor while the bridesmaids began to arrive. The photographer had already begun taking pictures of the groomsmen, and I could hear them laughing and talking in the sanctuary. I could hear Jay, and I was so excited! I never had a doubt in my head that he would be on time, but just knowing he was there and we were about to finally go through with this really put butterflies in my stomach.

The photographer soon called for me, and I had some pictures taken with the groomsmen while Jay waited in the groomsmen's parlor next door. Then the girls and I had our pictures taken. I smiled - I was so happy. Everything was perfect. I figured at this point, I had nothing to worry about.

By the time the first round of pictures were done, we only had about twenty minutes to relax before the ceremony. Two of my best friends joined the bridesmaids and I in the dressing parlor. We laughed and talked, and pretty soon it was time for the show.

As I walked down the aisle, I was totally surprised by how many people were in attendance - the church was full! My dad put my hand in Jay's and I saw Jay's bottom lip waver. "You look beautiful," he whispered. I thought for sure he was going to cry, but he never did. I just smiled at him. He looked pretty good himself. The ceremony went off without any major hitches, and within fifteen minutes we became husband and wife! I smiled ear-to-ear as we walked back down the aisle. We greeted our guests in a receiving line outside the church. Everyone told me I was glowing! I had waited almost seven years for this day, and so far it had been perfect!

Another round of pictures followed the ceremony, and by this time my feet were killing me. I'd had to buy higher-heeled shoes to accomodate the long hemline on my dress, and I had been on my feet all day. Nevertheless, I smiled. Everything was perfect.

The best man and maid of honor drove us to the reception in a Lincoln we had rented. We had a little time to mingle with our guests there before dinner was served. So many more people showed up than we originally expected! I was glad to finally be able to sit and eat - I was starving by that point. From there, Jay and I danced our first dance as husband and wife to "I Do (Cherish You)" by Mark Wills. Our bridal party dance followed, and then the dollar dance. We cut the cake, tossed the boquet and garter, and then had a little more time to mingle while our guests took the dance floor to party and have a good time. Jay, a couple of the groomsmen, and another friend put together a line-dancing performance that was out of this world! I danced with my dad and Jay danced with his mom, but before I knew it, the day was over. It had gone by so fast, but everything was wonderful. We heard so many nice things about our wedding, and all our hard work was instantly justified. Jay and I returned home that evening with happy, slightly dazed, and very tired smiles.

The next morning we packed our car full of luggage and necessities and headed for Nashville, TN. Although we left just a little after 10AM, we didn't make it to Nashville until nearly 10PM EST. We felt like zombies as we dragged our bags up to our room that night, but after a good night's sleep we spent the entire week exploring the city and its outskirts, dining at elaborate restaurants that would be otherwise out of our budget, and seeing the sights and attractions. The weather was unseasonably warm and welcoming, and the people were so accomodating and charming with their slight southern drawls. "Where y'all from?" they would ask inquisitively, seeing our maps strewn about in front of us. It was truly amazing. From Tennessee, we drove three and a half hours north to spend a few days in Lexington, KY, with Little Bit and Lyle's pack. Robin and Mike were wonderful hosts, and even though the weather didn't cooperate to see the races at Keenland, they kept us busy with shopping, movies, LOTS of doggie attention, and dinners out, not to mention our famous trip to the Double Stink Hog Farm. We had mixed emotions about going home - we missed our families and Basil by that point, but we'd had such a good time it was difficult to call it a week! It's hard to believe we've now only got a day before we have to go back to work.

I'd like to thank all my special friends here on Dogster for all the support, prayers, well wishes, encouragement, and kind thoughts that have come our way over the past few months. I have looked forward to coming here again to share a bit of the Big Day with you. This, of course, has just been in a nutshell. The day held so many more emotions for everyone than I could even find words to describe. It was a very, very long and hard journey to get where we finally got, and I wholeheartedly believe we had much more than our fair share of obstacles. Nevertheless, it was if God smiled on us that day. And we all smiled along with Him.

And that, pals, is my Mommy and Daddy's BIG DAY (as Mommy said - in a nutshell). Strangely, no one seemed to catch my CHICKEN DANCE on film, but I assure you it was a sight to behold. My tux almost upscaled the bride's dress. *Snicker*snicker*

Puppy kisses for all (and to all a sunny tomorrow)!

Dum dum da dummmm....

...the wedding is SOON. Five more days. I have my tail feathers all ready for the Chicken Dance.

Daddy had his bachelor party on Saturday. Being a guy, I was invited, but I had to stay inside the house. I began tearing the stuffing out of the sofa to get back at Daddy for leaving me out of the party, but then I had a change of heart. Daddy came and put the stuffing back in, and I left it at that. What a good beagle I am. Sort of. I figure he'll have Mommy to (continue to) nag and annoy him after the wedding - I might as well give him a break.

I hear Daddy got a ball and chain at his party. And some earplugs. And some other stuff I'm not supposed to talk about. *snicker*snicker*

Oh, and for the record, because the wedding is on Sweetest Day, I think I should finally get some chocolate. *Opens mouth wide.*

I will have a limited amount of time to write here, what with all my practicing and such. I'll catch up after the Big Day is past and post a link to some pictures of my Mommy and Daddy in all their glory. They may be goofy, but they really do make a cute couple.

Puppy kisses for all (and to all eternal happiness)!

The Countdown.

Eleven days to go. Until I go on stage, that is. Whatever this wedding thing is, it's second only to my much anticipated performance. I guess I could have made better decisions along the way in my planning, but things turned out fine in the end. See, I got involved with this certain dance company. Clucky and the Chicken Coupe was supposed to back me up as I sh0ok my beagle butt doing the Chicken Dance in front of people who'd come expecting to witness a wedding. Well, as you might guess, the chickens backed out of our contract. Yeah, I might have slipped and said a few curse words to them in the anxiety of practice ("marinade" and "Colonel Sanders" were among them), but geez, did they really think I was gonna eat them? Well, okay, I was only gonna eat one. OH HECK. WHO AM I FOOLING. Those chickens were gonna make me one fat beagle. Point is, they broke the contract. They better watch their little chicken backs.

I hired some friends to accentuate my moves after the Clucky stint bombed. Lyle is going to be my flapper, and Jacky is going to be my tweeter. Tåla and Little Bit are going to be my cluckers, and Skye is going to do the Bunny Hop. Don't ask. Finally, Xena is going to throw chicken at the guests. Hey, you've got to feed the masses!

So as Daddy likes to say, Mommy is a bit "on edge." I dunno what he's talking about, she looks like she has pretty good posture to me. She's been kinda miffy lately, though. I mean, geez, you shoulda heard the lecture I got this afternoon for unstuffing the blanket she put in my crate after I unstuffed the pillow that was there before. Doesn't she realize I get bored while she's away? *Hmph*

Anyway, I heard the pizza guy. It's not DiGiornos, it's delivery!!

Puppy kisses for all!

Adios Reality!

Well, it turns out I've gained a certain status of fame due to my forthcoming Chicken Dance plans. I'm trying really hard not to let it go to my head, but it's sinking in. I've really become an icon of sorts. A doglebrity, to be more specific. What does this mean for me? Certainly it means a hefty salary increase! No more being stingy with the Cool Jacks, Mommy! It should also mean I get to do whatever I want - bark as much as I want, sleep as much as I want, have as much CRAZY BEAGLE TIME as I want, and (of course) eat whatever I want. Everydog loves a doglebrity! And maybe, just maybe, it means more than fifteen minutes in the sp otlight!

Someday I'm gonna be famous,
Do I have talent, HECK YEAH!
These days I'm sure gonna need it,
If I'm gonna dance like I'm mad.

Can't wait to date a Mule Terrier,
Can't wait to eat some Cool Jacks.
Can't wait to dance down the aisle
And never look back....

Cause when you're a doglebrity
It's adios reality
You' can bark just like a fool
Doggies think you're cool
Just 'cause you make a scene.
I can throw a major fit
When my kibble isn't just how I like it
When they say I've gone insane,
I'll blame it on the fame,
And the pressures that it goes with
Being a doglebrity

Puppy kisses (and doglebrity) for all!

Chicken Dancing.

So I got this idea in my head today. (Yes, Boogles have lots of ideas, in case you were wondering.) Here's the thing I've been pondering on all day: this chicken dance might be more beneficial than I originally thought. Why? Well, consider the usual outcome of other themed dances. You do a rain dance and you get rain. You do a money dance (such as at a wedding) and you get money. So the only thing I can deduce is....

IF YOU DO A CHICKEN DANCE, YOU GET CHICKEN!

It makes sense to me! Imagine the wonder....chicken falling gracefully out of the sky...into my open and waiting mouth.




Sorry, I had to stop there for a minute to wipe the drool off my lips.

I guess we'll just have to wait and see. Until then, I'll keep practicing my moves carefully. I don't want to risk missing a step!

Puppy kisses for all (and to all some booty shakin')!

Heaven help us....

I received my ceremonial chicken-dance attire by mail yesterday. Finally got a sniff of that Lyle, too - he filled in for me for the fitting session. This is going to be perfect for the wedding! So perfect that I've written a song about my duties to come. If you need an idea, check out this website for the all-too-familiar tune. Thanks, Mel McDaniel!

Struttin' down the aisle, dancin' into sight
Everybody's lookin' as he goes by
They turn their heads, and they watch until he's gone
Lord have mercy, Basil's got his bow tie on!

Up by the altar, just past the pews
Everybody's wondrin', what he's gonna do
As he goes shakin, dancin' like a chicken gone wrong
Heaven help us, Basil's got his bow tie on!

He can't help it that he's crazy this way
Lyle's to blame if they look his way
He's just really tryin' to cause a scene
And it comes naturally ------
Yeah, the dog can't help it!

Later on now, outside the church
They watch him jitter, they see him lurch
And he don't look back, 'cause he ain't doin' nothin' wrong
Lord have mercy, Basil's got his bow tie on!

Heaven help us, Basil's got his bow tie on!

That about covers it. Enjoy the pictures of me being Rico Suave! I think I might start my own male Boogle dance company. Chip & Boogles. Sounds about right.

Puppy kisses for all (and to all some handsomeness)!

How to disgrace a Boogle.

1. To start with, give him a bath. (Not a shower - that is apparently an entirely different concept.)

2. After the bath, clip his toenails and give him a biscuit to "make up for" the torture of being made to sit still for forty-five minutes. Yeah, right.

3. After the bath and toenail clipping, eat something in front of him. Prefferably something warm and yummy, while the poor, cold, damp, clawless puppy sits there defenselessly wasting away in front of you.

4. After the bath, toenail clipping, and taunting of food, put the "sticky stuff" down his back. Really work it in.

5. After the bath, toenail clipping, taunting of food, and application of horrid back slime, make him go out in the chilly night air "just for a brisk walk around the yard before bed." Psssh.

6. Then, to top it all off, make him sleep in his doggie bed instead of in your bed because he is cold, wet, slimy, and irritable.

Pretty much sums up my day, pups.

Puppy kisses for all anyway! (I've never been one to hold grudges...)

This is from Basil's Mommy today...

I just wanted to thank everyone for the support, friendship, and bunches of kind and comforting e-mails I've received recently from all of you. It means so much to me that there are so many caring people (and pups) here, and that you've taken the time to check in. Danyelle was not only my bridesmaid and future cousin, she was my friend. Her death has broken my heart, but the memories she left with us will keep me smiling on October 15th.

This year, and especially this past week, has been extremely difficult. It's been a true test of faith. I'm keeping close to me the knowledge that none of the girls will be absent the day that Jay and I take our vows. Physically or not, all five will be there. Thank you everyone, it means a lot.

Barbara

Baking.

Today Mommy and Gramma D. did some baking for the wedding. I was not allowed to witness this phenomenon, since I was staying with my other Gramma. From what I hear, the baking session incorporated the Great Chocolate Conspiracy. These humans are just full of classified food data.

So, the invitatons are sent, Mommy and Daddy are going to get the marriage license TOMORROW (if Mommy doesn't have another blonde moment, that is), then Mommy will go get alterations on her wedding gown (I might mention I have never been allowed to sniff that either, since it lives at Gramma D's house). Then sometime this week Gramma D. will come to visit so that she and Mommy can finish the baking. I'll keep you posted as to how that goes.

In other news, I have almost perfected my Chicken Dance Polka moves. If only I had opposable thumbs I could do the little tweety-bird-finger-thing like the humans do. Oh, well. Me shaking my beagle-butt will be enough of a spectacle.

Puppy kisses for all (and to all some good baking).

My Cousin Rob.

So today was a better day, overall. Mommy and Daddy didn't get their marriage license, and it was Mommy's fault. Don't ask why. Her mental lapses have everyone a little concerned these days.

Daddy's friend Rob came to spend the night again. I call him my cousin in the title because Mommy and Daddy are thinking about adopting him. Rob has spent the past seven out of eight weekends at Mommy and Daddy's apartment, and therefore I think he should be family once and for all. And even though in the state of Ohio it is illegal to adopt someone over the age of eighteen, even if the adoptee consents, I think Rob could pass for seventeen. For one, he is small. I'm not cracking on the guy, I'm just telling you my honest observation. Also, athough Rob has a Big Important Job and makes a lot of money, he's still as weird and goofy as a kid. Finally, if Rob moves in for good, I will get more BEAGLE CRAZY TIME because house guests always merit BEAGLE CRAZY TIME. Yup.

So anyway, I have a Cheweez waiting for me out there. Chicken flavor, of course. Tomorrow I think I might lay out and work on my tan, if it doesn't rain. I've been lying in the sunny spots in the living room every morning trying to perfect it. Beach season is almost over, and I want to go out with a bang!

Puppy kisses for all!

Like I said, one thing after another.

The two front tires on Mommy's car are flat. I guess it was a good thing this happened before she trekked out somewhere again. Nobody's quite sure how it happened. She noticed they were a little low this morning. Now they are nearly pancakes. Mmmm...pancakes.

Mommy says, "I need a good luck charm!" I say, "How about me, Mommy?" She says, "I can't fit you in my pocket, Boogs!" But I know I am lucky. I must be, I have the greatest Mommy and Daddy in the world. So I've taken a little lock of my fur and shoved it inside Mommy's jeans pocket. Hopefully this will break the bad luck spell.

Meanwhile, Daddy is at Wal-Mart getting tires on Mommy's car. They're the only place that's open past 5p.m. around here. Thank goodness for Wal-Mart.

Puppy kisses for all (and to my Mommy some better luck soon).

The Marriage License.

Mommy and Daddy have to go get a marriage license on Friday. I say, do people have to get licensed to do everything nowadays? Licensed to drive, licensed to hunt, even a license for little ol' me! What's up with that? I have a license and didn't have to do a darn thing for it. Except sit there and look cute while daddy handed his money over for it. Heehee. Sorry, Daddy. I'll try not to get any citations, okay?

So anyway, Mommy made this stuff called 'hummus' this week. It sure does smell yummy, but I'm not allowed to eat it. "It's a little on the spicy side, Boogle," she says. So what, I can take it, I'm a tough guy. But noooooo. This must be similar to the Great Chocolate Conspiracy. I can't put up with two conspiracies at once. I will get some of this famed 'hummus' that Daddy keeps OOOOOO-ing and AAAAHHHH-ing over. *snort*

Puppy kisses for all (and to all some good eats!)

One thing after another.

First Mommy and Daddy get me. I get very very sick and have to go to the hospital, and even when I come home I'm still sick for months. Mommy and Daddy have to move right in the middle of all this because the leasing company doesn't agree with them having a dog in the apartment we are in at the time. Then, after everything is moved, Mommy gets the bright idea, "Hey, we really should get married!" And so begins the turmoil of wedding plans. Then Mommy and Daddy move again, only nine months after the previous time, to a larger apartment further north of where they lived before. This move is the hardest of all three moves they have made this year because the new apartment is on the third floor. Shortly after moving in, some idiot kids decide to damage Mommy's car while she is at work. This is a very traumatic experience, and Mommy is upset for a long time.

And then this morning...hooo boy.

Mommy wakes up because she hears Daddy's alarm. She sits striaght up in bed and says, "What's that smell?" Daddy shakes his head, he smells it too. It's very strong, and even I can't help but notice it smells a little like unmentionables. Oh great, I think to myself. Here we go. Of course the very next thing that happens is that Mommy and Daddy are looking around for any little presents I may have left them. I'm so embarrassed that I go sit by the closet door. I mean, come on, I am over a year old now, it's been months and months and months since I had an accident! But when Mommy goes out into the living room she knows immediately it's not me (even though Daddy is still looking and intermittently smelling me all over). "Something is burning," she says. Daddy agrees. The only thing is, where? About twenty minutes goes by where Mommy and Daddy are searching for the source of the smell, which is quite electrical in nature. In one spot it is strong. In another you can't smell it at all. But one thing is for certain. It is coming from the apartment, because there is no trace of the odor out in the hall. Mommy's freaking out, but she takes a deep breath and looks up the number for the fire department. Daddy calls them, but he has to leave for work or he's gonna be late. Mommy bites her fingernails off for a while, but the firemen show up within ten minutes. I, of course, get stuck in my crate. I knew it wasn't play time, but OH I couldn't help it! So anyway, the firemen are using these cool machines that have infrared screens to check the outlets, the surge protectors, everything anywhere there could be a potential fire hazard. Nothing. One of them goes down to the apartment below to find out if maybe someone has something burning down there. Nothing. Then one of the firemen walks into the kitchen. "WOW," he says. At that point we all notice that the fridge is running funny. Well, duh, I coulda told you that in the first place, Mommy, my water bowl is right next to it! It's making this HRRRRVVVMMMM sound, and running constantly. The firemen unplug it and pull it out. Nothing looks unusual, but when they look at the back of it with their cool machines, it's obvious where the smell is coming from. The fridge has burned up in the back, and is probably not far away from really becoming a hazard. They plug it back in, and WHOOOOMP there it is. It stinks.

So anyway, everyone is all right (including little me), but lately it just seems that we are on a bad luck streak. The what-ifs are kind of bothering Mommy right now, such as what if we hadn't been here when the fridge decided to burn up? Or, what if we hadn't woken up for the horrible smell it was making? It's on a rare occasion that Daddy has to get up at 5a.m. on a Saturday for work. I guess there is a reason for everything, but it coulda happened at the worst time, even though it happened at the luckiest.

The apartment people brought us a new fridge at a quarter till nine. Back in the crate I went, apparently this was not play time either. Nothing was lost since Mommy kept the doors on the old fridge closed. The scary thing was the "old" fridge was not that old. A couple of years, maybe. Mommy and Daddy are going to be much more vigilant about their appliances from now on.

On a happier note, when Mommy cleaned off the top of the fridge she found a rope toy that the leasing agent left for me when we moved in. It was her mistake to put it within my reach on the kitchen table, and not my fault that it got ripped up all over the floor. Heehee. What a morning.

Puppy kisses for all (and to all a safe tomorrow).

I'm Sad.

My Daddy is working those "midnight" things again. Well, actually he got up and went to work this morning as usual, then came home in the early afternoon, much earlier than he normally does. We spent the rest of the day snuggling and snoozing. I was so happy he was here. I loves my Daddy. I even brought my toys and chewies into the bedroom so I could be near him while he slept. Then, much later on, he got up and left me again. I tell you, that man is unpredictable sometimes. I wish the afternoon could have lasted forever. I miss him so!

In other news, the second "shower" was a big success. I have not heard Mommy shut up all week about how pretty Daddy's mommy and aunt decorated, and how good the CAKE and FOOD were. ~Sigh~ Another day, another missed food opportunity. I was made to stay with my Grampa for two days so that Mommy could get things straightened around in the apartment. You know, so I wouldn't ACCIDENTALLY find new things to chew on. Like hand mixers and bread machines. Also, Mommy has delegated the task of serving Thanksgiving Dinner to herself this year. That's going to be interesting. I'm going to call Gramma a few weeks in advance and ask her to pick up some fire extinguishers. Then, on Thanksgiving Day, I'm gonna make sure we have some Arby's or McDonald's on hand. And lots of Tylenol. Just in case. Brand-new dishes aren't gonna make it taste better, Mommy. That's okay, more for me!

Puppy kisses for all!

WHO WANTS TO CRASH A LASAGNA PARTY??

Sunday, 2:00 p.m. Vienna, Ohio. Dog-mail me for directions.

Bring your appetite. Leave your manners at home.

The Shower.

On Sunday Mommy had a shower. I am still confused about the events of that day, seeing as I was not invited to witness this "shower." Mommy left and was gone most of the day. She was dry when she came back, and she had a LOT of stuff with her. I really want to know why there is suddenly a food processer in our linen closet! I overheard Gramma talking about the cake with chocolate-covered strawberries they got to eat. Since when does anyone get to eat in the shower? Wait, let me rephrase that. Since when does anyone get to eat CAKE WITH CHOCOLATE COVERED STRAWBERRIES in the shower? Am I missing something??

And to make things ever more mind-boggling, Mommy says there is another one of these "showers" this weekend. And LASAGNA is on the menu! If I don't start getting fed in the shower real soon, I'm going on strike from being such an ANGEL.

Puppy kisses for all!

I Gots Me Some New Pics!

Hey, pups! It's been a while, I know I know. It's not like me to take this much time away from my diary. I do love to brag about me me me, you know.

So anyway, Mommy has been busy as a bee lately ignoring the things she has to do and doing the things she wants to do -- like make beautiful portraits of beautiful me me me! I've gotten so many compliments, my head must be the size of Mt. Everest by now. I especially like my angel picture, it really reflects my true inner self.

So yes, it's going to be a busy few months here. As many of you know, my Mommy and Daddy are getting married October 15th. I'm going to surprise them by showing up at the ceremony and doing the chicken dance in the middle of the aisle - don't tell them, though, it's a big secret! I've been practicing my polka moves, and I think I've nearly got them down. Lyle has a good description of how to dance a polka. "Hop on your front legs. Hop on your back legs. Sing about beer," says he. I think I might sing about chicken, though since it is a chicken dance. I'm gonna shake my tail feathers!

Puppy kisses for all!

Our Prayer Chain

A few weeks ago, my cousin Skye started a prayer chain for sick pups and pups who are no longer with us. And also, of course, for their families. Please click on the links to visit Skye's page and the Prayer Chain. You can be of any religion to join the chain - it all about helping dogs and their packs who are in need. Since the chain began, a candle vigil has also been incorporated. Our first vigil was Thursday, July 21st at 8p.m. Pups and their packs around the world lit candles at 8p.m. in their respective time zones and said prayers and good thoughts for all the sick pups everywhere. It seems to have been a great success! It looks like we are going to have candle vigils every Thursday at 8p.m. If you would like to join the chain, or add a pup to be remembered in prayers, please visit the Prayer Chain thread in the forums. Thanks, everyone!!!

Puppy kisses for all!!

The Anatomy of a Good Stretch.

1. First, stand up and arch your back. This works especially well if you make funny faces while doing it. You might get a treat for making the humans laugh.

2. Next, bow down and stretch your legs. Some of you can bow on command. I, however, have been stubborn enough to resist learning this trick. I'll do it for the sake of a good stretch, though.

3. Drop onto your belly and pull yourself along the floor with your paws. Stretch your legs out behind you if you can. While doing this, you should be in the middle of a huge, face-disappearing yawn. Make sure you stretch that tounge, too!

4. Roll over on your back and squirm around. Snort like a pig if you want. It makes you feel good!

5. Continue making adorable noises and being a ham as necessary, to keep everyone laughing.

6. Stand up and finish off with a big shake. Flap those ears and lips! When you're all done, wait by the treat cabinet for your reward.

Puppy kisses for all! (And good mooching to everyone!)

Mommy's Friend Jean.

Mommy has a friend named Jean. Jean is going to be in Mommy's wedding. Jean is a very good friend of Mommy's, and Mommy has been promising me for almost a year now that "someday soon" I would get to meet this "Jean."

Tonight I finally met Jean.

She is everything I hoped she would be. She let me jump on her immediately when Mommy let her in, even though she was wearing white pants. She let me stick my nose in her hair. And in her ear. And down her shirt. And in her armpit. And many, many other places that Mommy said were not very polite for a beagle to be sticking his nose into. She let me cover her in dog hair and wet puppy kisses. She even let me lick her feet (she was wearing sandals). But you know what? Jean laughed and roughed me up the whole time and said she didn't mind a bit. Jean had a doggy once and had to give him up, and she said getting to be with pups like me makes her really happy.

After she passed her CRAZY BEAGLE inspection, Jean and Mommy sat around and talked about how cute I was while I maintained my position as the center of attention and chewed a rawhide.

I like Jean. She's my kind of lady.

Puppy kisses for all!

Bye bye rental van...

...hello Mommy's car! Yay! It's back and like brand new. Those nice people even cleaned the inside for her. JUST WAIT TILL I GET IN THERE TOMORROW. Can we say, "Joyride?" It's prime shedding season! I'm not afraid to leave a little dander here and there....

OH I can't WAIT to slobber up the windows.

Puppy kisses for all!

The Rental Van

Mommy thought she was getting a rental CAR while her car was in the shop.

Nope.

Mommy got a rental VAN. I'm not allowed to ride in it. I'm not even allowed to sniff it. Mommy says it's almost brand-new. I say it needs a little dog hair to break it in. But she won't budge. She said she might get to take it back tomorrow. She says it's a boat. I really think it looks just like a van. OOOHHH how I want to hang my head out its window!!

Puppy kisses for all!

Big Booms and Flashy Things

Today there were lots of loud noises going on everywhere, and later on there were flashy things in the sky. I tried to tell Mommy that we were being invaded by UFO's but she didn't seem to take me seriously.

Anyway, as long as the aliens don't steal my food, I don't mind the noise or the flashy things. But if I see even one piece of kibble walk outta here, I'm calling the FBI.

Puppy kisses for all!

Congratulations to my Mommy...

...her car has been vandalism-free now for over a week! YAY! She'll drop it off on Tuesday to get it fixed. I wonder if I'll get to ride in the rental???

In other news, The Fourth of July is coming up and Mommy and Daddy are watching me anxiously to see if I'm scared of "fireworks." I don't know what those are, but I keep hearing all these cracking, popping sounds. Either I'm going crazy or someone is making popcorn.

Mmmmm.....popcorn. I better go investigate.

Puppy kisses for all!

A Poem About Crazy, Silly Dogs

If ever there were crazy dogs they'd be
Little Bit and Skye and Lyle and me.
We're such a silly pack, you know,
We laugh at each other wherever we go.
There's simply no right words to explain...
I think our packs must be genuinely insane.
Our senses of humor are truly in sync,
We just seem to know how all doggies think.
We never get bored, we think alike, really,
I guess that's what makes us so crazy and silly!

And that's my wisdom for the day!

Puppy kisses for all!

Uno, Dos, Tres, Quatro, Cinco, Cinco, Seis.....

Anyone familiar with a certain Offspring song will particulary appreciate this, but it is dedicated in full to my dear friends Little Bit and Lyle!

Bark it to me, Basil, UH-HUH, UH-HUH
Bark it to me, Basil, UH-HUH, UH-HUH
Bark it to me, Basil, UH-HUH, UH-HUH
And all the puppies say I'm pretty fly (for a brown beagle)

You know it's kinda hard just to get a treat today
Our subject is so cool in every single way
He has lots of class and he has so much style
And most importantly, He's gettin' a tattoo of Lyle!

So don't create a big debate
It's only a tattoo, I'm just goin' through a phase
Mommy says it's fine with her if I shave my fur
"Heck, YEAH," I say, "Heck, YEAH," I say
And I know one day it'll be a big mistake
Maybe then I can go on Rikki Lake
The world needs tattooed Beagles
So, HEY HEY, do that brand new thing!

Bark it to me, Basil, UH-HUH, UH-HUH
Bark it to me, Basil, UH-HUH, UH-HUH
Bark it to me, Basil, UH-HUH, UH-HUH
And all the puppies say I'm pretty fly (for a brown beagle)

Now I'm gettin' my tattoo, yeah, I'm gettin' ink done
I wanted one of Lyle, something really fun
I guess they tried too hard and made a little slip
'Cuz when I saw my belly, there was Little Bit!!

So don't create a big debate
It's only a tattoo, I'm just goin' through a phase
Mommy says it's fine with her if I shave my fur
"Heck, YEAH," I say, "Heck, YEAH," I say
And I know one day it'll be a big mistake
Maybe then I can go on Rikki Lake
The world needs tattooed Beagles
So, HEY HEY, do that brand new thing!

Bark it to me, Basil, UH-HUH, UH-HUH
Bark it to me, Basil, UH-HUH, UH-HUH
Bark it to me, Basil, UH-HUH, UH-HUH
And all the puppies say I'm pretty fly (for a brown beagle)

I need an explanation and I need one really quick!
Bit is gonna love me, Lyle's gonna be sick!
This campaign is so important, but now I'm really thinkin'
I shoulda passed on Bit and Lyle and had them draw a CHICKEN!

So don't create a big debate
It's only a tattoo, I'm just goin' through a phase
Mommy says it's fine with her if I shave my fur
"Heck, YEAH," I say, "Heck, YEAH," I say
And I know one day it'll be a big mistake
Maybe then I can go on Rikki Lake
The world needs tattooed Beagles
The world should be FULL of tattooed Beagles!
So, HEY HEY, DO THAT BRAND NEW THING!

Bluuuueeeeeeeeeee...

Blueeeeeee-oooooo-hooo-oooooo, oh so lonesome for you.....

Oh, sorry. I've had that song stuck in my head due to the situation of a certain friend of mine.....

So yeah, today it was even hotter than yesterday. I think some people (and pups) who don't live anywhere near my area have a slight misconception of what the weather in NE Ohio is really like. I think the first thing that comes to mind is: SNOW!! Yes, we get snow, a LOT of snow. (I loves snow, though, so it's no big deal. Mommy and Daddy, however, hate it.) Sometimes we get snow well into April. But we also get mind-boggling, sweltering, peel-your-fur-off summers. It's different than dry heat. This is wet heat. Mommy says it's "humidity," but whatever, I'll call it what I want. It's such a sharp contrast, the winters and the summers, it's almost like a different world. I don't mind the heat. I don't LOVE it like I LOVE snow, but it's not all that bad for a little doggy like me.

Tomorrow Daddy is taking Mommy's car to get some estimates. She's stuck with his icky germ-mobile. Hahaha, Mommy. Better bring along the hand sanitizer. She has calmed down considerably since Friday and probably won't need to enter a mental institution, but we'll see. Poor Mommy. See what you get for not making me the flower dog?

Puppy kisses for all!

The Kindness of Not-So-Strangers......

.....is overwhelming. Again, Mommy asks that I not be too specific, but today some friends did something really, really nice for her. She had a bad week, a really bad week, and then out of the blue she got notice that there are still good people in the world. Wow. A ray of sunlight shining through the storm.

Well, Gramma has the air conditioning on and it's wun-da-ful in this 94-degree heat, so I think I will go take a nap while I have the opportunity. Naps are always good. Especially next to Daddy, who will be home to snuggle with me shortly.

Puppy kisses for all! (And to all a wonderful today.)

Bad Day on the Homefront.....

It's been a bad day for my Mommy. She doesn't want me to elaborate too much, but it has something to do with her car becoming the victim of substantial damage while she was working at her job in the slums of Northeast Ohio. Mommy needs a new job!!!! She's been crying a lot since she got home, and Gramma even came to visit to make sure she was gonna be okay (that part wasn't sad, I loves my Gramma!). I tried to sit close by and nuzzle Mommy like every good beagle should, but then Gramma showed up and it was BEAGLE CRAZY TIME. Gramma wore shorts and I got to lick her legs for, like, forever, until Daddy got irritated that I was irritating Gramma and made me stop making everyone irritable. Boo hiss, Daddy! Gramma tastes yummy, as does everyone. So let me lick!

But anyway, Mommy really didn't need this! Especially three and a half months before her wedding!! At least she has good peeps like Daddy and Gramma (and Uncle Dan, who called to make sure everyone was okay) to remind her that it coulda been worse, and that everything will be taken care of in one way or another. And of course she has me, I'm good peeps, too!

Puppy kisses for all! (And to all a better tomorrow.)

Thank you Mommy and Daddy!

Thanks, Mommy and Daddy, for bringing the internet back. And thanks to Mr. Rob for fixing the computer. You can play with my Wormy next time you come over!

So, in the week that my internet was broken, I have found many other things to keep busy with. For one, I have been helping Mommy make wedding invitations. She says I am real good at poking her in the butt with my nose and being annoying while she's working. I also chewed up and ate every single rawhide I had left in my toy basket. I rolled around on the carpet and snorted like a pig (cuz it's fun), and I watched Animal Planet for sixteen hours a day. I ate nasty stuff out of the yard and watched little kids play in front of the big sliding glass door. And it was actually FUN.

But I missed my Dogster so!!!!!!!! I'm glad to be back!!!

Puppy kisses for all!

Dear Mommy and Daddy.....

Please bring back the internet. It sure gets boring while you two are at work all day and I can't post on Dogster. I know that lightning fried your computer last week, but that's no excuse. Go out and buy a new one already, if that's what it takes. JUST KEEP THE PUPPY SATISFIED!!! I miss posting in the forums and writing dogmails to all my pup pals. Please, please, please....this is worse than when you switched me off puppy chow. I know it's nice to not have to pay the cable bill for a while, but maybe I can get a part time job to help out....or something. Like, I could bark at cats. That pays pretty well, right Lyle? Or maybe I could wash dishes for people, I'm already pretty good at cleaning plates and stuff. But anyway, I really need to get back online. Soon. I CAN'T STAND IT ANYMORE. I'M GOING TO GO CRAZY! BEAGLE CRAZY!

Very Sincerely,
Basil T. Beagle

My new favorite toy

Wormy, step aside. You're nice and all, but I have a new favorite toy!

It's my DENTAL KONG!

Gramma gave me a dental kong for my birthday. For those of you who have never seen a dental kong, click here. This toy spawned a BEAGLE CRAZY TIME like no other when Daddy brought me home last night. I ran crazy circles around the apartment for half an hour with the dental kong in my mouth, at speeds that would put Mario Andretti to shame. I almost knocked over the fan in Mommy and Daddy's room! Mommy tried to block me in the hallway but, HA MOMMY, I'm not even 25 lbs., I can squeeze right by you! Mommy tried to tell me that the dental kong is for chewing, that it will keep my teeth clean. Okay, whatever, it's more fun to run around with it in my mouth. Is that okay with you, Mommy?

Oh, and I can't forget to mention that my friend Lyle has proposed a BEAGLE CRAZY TIME in his campaign platform for ALL doggies! Do you know what this means???? ALL doggies can go absolutely, ridiculously, insanely NUTS at least once a day! Run around! Rip something up! Bark your head off! Just do whatever feels right to you! Go ahead, pups. Show them who's in charge.

Puppy kisses for all!

It's my birthday (and I'll bark if I want to)

Hey pups! Today is a very special day -- my FIRST birthday! Yup, I'm a whole year old! In addition to all the wonderful well-wishes I have received from all you Dogsters, Mommy got me a brand new toy. It is ....... (drumroll please) ....... another wormy! This one is orange, so it's a good contrast to the green wormy i already have! And Skye gave me a whole bag of goodies: greenies, doggy biscuits, a dental kong, and a football! Oh, and Lyle sent me a campaign button, plus he sang me a birthday song! And I didn't even know Whigles could sing! This has been the bestest birthday ever! Well, I guess it's also been my ONLY birthday ever, but it was still great! It's gonna take a whole lot to top this next year!

When Mommy got home from work for lunch today she let me out of my room and gave me lots of kisses and hugs and told me what a special boy I am and how much she loves me. At first I thought, awwwww, what a great beagle I am. Then I remembered that stupid hat she put on me in my Dogster picture and realized she was just making up for humiliating me! Ha ha, Mommy, I got you ALL figured out. She did share a few pieces of pasta with me, though, so I guess she was sincere. She woulda been more sincere if she had shared her CHICKEN. No more stupid hats from now on. I guess I should just be thankful she didn't butcher my picture totally like she did Skye's! Oh, by the way, happy birthday Catahoula Leopard Mutt!

Puppy kisses for all!

Okay, so maybe I was being modest when I said...

chicken. In addition to that, we'll also take hamburger, turkey, lunch meat, mashed potatoes, and cheese. And would it be too much to ask for peanut butter?

Yes, Dogsters, I am once again summoning the famous Lyle to bark for the good of all doggies! We want to do whatever we want to do, lick whatever we want to lick, eat whatever we want to eat out of the back yard, and bark at whatever we want to bark at (even if it's a lampshade....at three o' clock in the morning). And these people who tell us, "NO!," and "CUT IT OUT!," AND "DROP IT," AND "QUIET!" will be silenced by the sheer power of doggies who will stand up and reply, "MAKE ME!"

BWAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAAAAAA!

But, remember, pups, we still have to be kind of nice to them sometimes. They're the keepers of the food!

Puppy kisses for all!

-Sniff-Sniff- Do I smell a DOG in Congress?

I admit that before I met LYLE, I wasn't really interested in the ongoings of the political world (much less those of the DOG political world). Really all I cared about was whether or not I got my daily food rations and how many treats I could smuggle during the day. (Oh, and a recent concern of mine has been how fast I can nose up the big new sliding glass door....the one that Mommy just cleaned.....like five minutes ago.) But anyway, all trivial ponderings aside, it is now a deep concern of mine to see that Mr. Loo, as Lyle is known in his hometown, makes out good in his campaign to run for Congress. Because whatever Congress is, I am sure that it will eventually lead to World Dog Domination! So I ask you dear Dogsters, please show your support for this young Whigle who wants to improve our lives and increase our power on the earth! Just ask yourselves, "What would it be like to have somebody to represent a real voice of my own, one that would carry over into getting things all doggies want, like chicken?" Yes, you heard me, chicken. I hereby volunteer Lyle to promise that every doggie on the earth will get chicken at least once a day when he is in office. And I mean real chicken, not LYLE'S CHICKEN. No pressure or anything, Ly.

In my heart I believe that Lyle really will live up to all that he has already promised for dogs all over the globe. I'm actually not really clear on what exactly he's promised, but I do know that it's good stuff. Oh, and chicken too. Because I said so.

Puppy kisses for all!

Lyle and I are going to rule the world.

Hey Dogsters. I invite you to come one, come all, and visit the page of my dear friend, LYLE, who is running for congress. He's representing the Whigle party, and being the -GLE half of that party I just had to join in. Me and Lyle are going to rule the world together. That is, just as soon as he becomes a Congressdog. I know he'll be great at it because his chicken said so. And anyway, he's part beagle and likes bunnies just as much as I do. (As the famous Lyle would say, "Mmmmm......bunny.")

So, yes. One whigle and one beagle are going to be world leaders. Not before I get my nap, though.

Puppy kisses for all!

We Moved!

Hey, Pups! It's been a while, but Mommy and Daddy finally got the big move over with! Right now they are enjoying their new apartment, which is tons bigger than the old one and a lot nicer. Mommy sent me to stay with Gramma and Grampa because I wasn't handling the commotion too well. She honestly tried to let me get adjusted and stuff, but that was kind of hard when my whole world was torn up into a bajillion pieces! But, hey, I am a beagle with his own bedroom now. How spolied am I? Anyway, I'm having lots of fun at Gramma and Grampa's house, and Mommy and Daddy are coming back to get me tomorrow! I'm so excited I think I might poop! (Hmm....that sounds like a pretty good idea.....)

Puppy kisses for all!

The Silver Monster

Mommy has a silver monster. In the mornings, after she gets out of the shower, she takes it out of the drawer and lets it breathe mercilessly on her hair. It makes an awful sound, kind of like "VHRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!" I can't understand why Mommy lets this monster take control of her hand and torture her, so I bark and jump at it in a seemingly futile attempt to disarm it completely. Mommy rebels and sometimes kicks me out of the bedroom if I really make a fuss. Why, mommy, why do you let this evil serpent take you captive???

So, after a few minutes I give up and find something else to do. What do I really care anyway? After all, Mommy is torturing herself with the silver monster, not me.

Puppy kisses for all!

Why Mommies are Wonderful

They give you kisses all the time.

They bring you treats and toys when they go to the store.

They let you sit in their laps for as long as you feel like it.

They make sure you are fed and warm.

They take care of you when you are sick.

They take you on walks and play lots of games with you.

They let you sleep next to them, even if it means less bed space for Daddy.

They always come back, no matter how long they've been gone.

They praise you when you're a good boy (or girl) and help you learn new things.

And most of all....

They love you no matter what. Even if you've been a real pain in the butt.


Puppy kisses for all, and love for all the Mommies everywhere!

Dear Mommy and Daddy,

Please throw away the big doggie food you have been feeding me and bring back the puppy chow. It was much tastier. It was even kind of tasty when you mixed it with the big doggy food. It's greasier and fattier and just yummier in general. The big doggie food is not as yummy. Which is why I ingore that you have put it in my dish until I am absolutely certain that nothing better is going to come along. So please, please bring back my puppy chow. Thanks.

Love,
Basil

PS. Steak and peanut butter would suffice, also.

10 Reasons Why Peanut Butter is the Yummiest Food Known to- Beagles.

10. It sticks to the roof of your mouth when you eat it, allowing you to make this fun sound: "SHLOCK, SHLOCK, SHLOCK."

9. Whenever you eat peanut butter, it gets on your nose, in your fur, in between your toes, and becomes a real fashion statement.

8. It gets on the carpet, too, so you can save some for later.

7. Unless your owner discovers it and cleans it up. (Don't let this happen, pups!!)

6. Peanut butter keeps you busy and out of trouble. Not that it's not fun to get in trouble, it's just more fun to eat peanut butter!

5. It's good with EVERYTHING - dog food, chicken, pizza, you name it. There is no bad combination when peanut butter is involved.

4. Peanut butter, especially in a kong, makes you "zone out," so you can reflect on all the socks you stole and things you shredded during the day. Good times!

3. It beats dog treats any day!

2. It beats all other human food any day!

1. And the number one reason why peanut butter is the yummiest food known to beagles:

It's Doggie Crack, yo! Happy Peanut Butter Eating!

Puppy kisses for all!

Walk! Picnic! Park!

Mommy and Daddy are taking me for a walk in the park and they are going to have a picnic!!! I'm so excited my skin is shaking!!!

I have to figure out a way (and quick) to smuggle lots of treats from this picnic deal. Daddy, I saw you bring home stuff for ham and cheese sandwiches! Oooooh, this is gonna be good!!! SO much better than Scooby Snacks!

What's that, Mommy? Ham and cheese isn't for beagles? WE'LL SEE ABOUT THAT, SISTER!

Puppy kisses for all!

How to eat an ice cube.

1. When you first get a hold of your ice cube, toss it across the carpet and pounce on it like a lion. Make sure it knows who the boss is.

2. Your ice cube is cold! So cold! So nice on a hot day! Give it some love.

3. Your ice cube is slippery, too. Try squeezing it between your paws and see if you lose your grip. Fun, isn't it?

4. If your ice cube accidentally rolls under the sofa, shove your head under there and whine. If no one gets it for you, bother them incessantly until they have no choice.

5. Bite into the ice cube and see how many pieces you can split it into. Then, drag the pieces all over the room and let them melt into little surprise puddles for your owner to step in.

6. You can beg for another ice cube when you're done, but you probably won't get one after all that. See if you can squander some Scooby Snacks instead! Happy ice cube destroying!

Puppy kisses for all!

Some New Photos.

Lookie lookie lookie! I have new photos!

See the last two pictures?? The second to the last picture is my baby picture, at three months. The last picture is my big-boy beagle picture at 10 months. Can you believe how much I've grown???

Mommy and Daddy took me to see Gramma and Grampa this evening, so I'm beat. I think I will go steal some socks and then crap out on MY beanbag. Night, Dogsters!

Puppy kisses for all!

A little teaser.

Do you see those new photos of me that Mommy helped me upload? Well, Gramma was here yesterday and she and Mommy took lots and lots of pictures of me - as well they should, am I not the most handsome thing around? Gramma has all my lovely portraits on a disk to give to Mommy so that she can totally revamp my profile, but it just HAD to go and snow a foot today and Mommy can't get her car out of the driveway to go see Gramma. So, she will have to wait till tomorrow or some time this week.

Aaah, look at the glamour, the beauty - sparkling green eyes, glossy brown coat. . . . What could be more beautiful than little ol' me?

Puppy kisses for all!

No more Mr. Nice Beagle.

Yesterday I had a bath and got my toenails clipped.

Yesterday I had a bath and got my toenails clipped WITHIN THE SAME HOUR.

Mommy and Daddy had better be verrrrry careful from now on when they are sleeping.

That is all.

Puppy kisses for all!

Beagle at the Park (Part II)

Yes, pups, I am getting spoileder and spoileder. Mommy AND Daddy took me to the park today, but first they took me to see Aunt Lindsay and Uncle Steve, who were working on the house they're going to live in when they get married next year. Aunt Lindsay told me I can come back whenever I want. Cool beans, Auntie, it won't be too long before I OWN that place, too. *Beagle snicker*

So, yeah, it was a pretty fantastic day, and I saw those durn ducks again. They didn't leave me any treats yet, and I'm not too happy about that. I know they're hiding them somewhere. They seriously need to get on the same page as me.

Puppy kisses for all!

Ducks.

I didn't know before today what "ducks" were. But now I know, oh yeah, there are no secrets.

So Mommy took me potty in the dog walk area at our apartment (my apartment), and lo and behold there were these squat, waddling, green and grey things with really long noses walking around in the woods. I was instantly interested, and I stood there and pointed at them for many minutes. I did not bark or whine, but attempted to hunt them. It was only too bad that my neck was attached to a leash, or we'd be having roast duck tonight instead of porkchops. Wait a minute. I didn't get any porkchops anyway, so what do I care? Hmmm.

Oh yeah. Mommy took me to the park tonight for a walk after she got home from work, but that's only secondary to these duck things. I wonder if they left me any treats out there? Maybe I can learn Duck and tell them to leave me treats next time I see them (waaak waaak waaaaaaaaak).

Puppy kisses for all!

Macaroni and cheese.

Is there anything yummier than macaroni and cheese? If there is, please let me know. Daddy made macaroni and cheese tonight, and although I had to do overtime on the begging, sad-eye pleading, and beagle-barking, I gots myself some macaroni and cheese. It was so worth it. Pure. Heaven. Beagle Heaven!

I also snatched a cherry tomato (SCORE!) and Mommy bought me some real, authentic Scooby Snacks at Marc's! Plus, Gramma sent home a beagle-hugeous bag of rawhides with Mommy yesterday. What is it, my birthday or something??

Speaking of my Birthday (June 8th, same as my cousin Skye), anyone who wants to send me a bunny is more than welcome. A brown one, please, with a pink nose. (HINT, HINT GRAMMA.)

Puppy kisses for all!

We're moving!

It's official, pups. I'm gettin' my own room. Oh, and to my cousin Skye - whose diary was picked for the Daily Dog Diary - my room will be better than yours because it's a REAL ROOM, ALL MINE. Not just a slab of foam under somebody's dining room table. I mean, really. I'm movin' up in the world! It shouldn't take too long to convince Mommy and Daddy that the whole apartment is mine, too. They've been pretty easy to train. As long as they keep paying the rent and buying dog food, I'll be just fine!

So the other day Daddy came home with something called a "turkey call." I'm not sure what business he has calling turkeys in the first place (I mean, Mommy probably wouldn't like it), but he puts this thing in his mouth and he sounds like a turkey. Honestly, I think daddy sounds like a turkey even without this mysterious "turkey call," but I beagle-bark at him when he uses it just so he doesn't feel left out. What can I say? You have to please the hand that feeds you at least some of the time!

Puppy kisses for all!

I have a beanbag.

I have a beanbag. No, I don't mean a beanie baby. I mean a BEANBAG, my very own, for me to sit on and sleep in and cuddle up to whenever I wish.

And let me tell you what.

THAT BEANBAG IS MINE. MINE ALL MINE. So when anyone else sits in it, I get very frustrated. Like today, Mommy and Daddy came home from their - uh - whatever it is they do all day, and I was already a little ticked at them because they came home and put me right back in my crate-room again (had to take care of something related to this "moving" thing). And when they got back for the second time, Mommy decided to sit in MY beanbag. UH-UH MOMMY, I DON'T THINK SO. DON'T YOU REMEMBER? THAT BEANBAG IS MY THRONE. So I proceeded to howl and beagle-bark and carry on. Mommy tried to hush me, but I would not give up. How can I stand up to anything if I cannot stand up to someone sitting in MY beanbag?

Then Mommy's phone rang.

And she got up.

And the beanbag was mine once more.

So now I am a happy beagle with nothing to complain about. Until the next time someone decides to plant their big butt in MY beanbag (not to mention any names, MOMMY).

Puppy kisses for all!

Beagle at the Vet.

Well, pups. Today was not so wonderful.

First, Mommy did not sleep at all last night. I know it wasn't my fault, but I feel bad for her. She's whipped! Daddy had to work one of those midnight things again, so he was not here, and Mommy does not sleep well when he is gone. Plus, I had to get up at 1 in the morning to go outside. I knew something was wrong. I think it was that nasty canned doggie food Daddy gave me yesterday at Gramma's. Doesn't he know I prefer dry doggie food by now? Well, anyway, I felt better when I came in, but then I did not feel so good again when I got up. I got sick all over as soon as I went outside. Mommy was worried, and when Daddy got home, she had him take me to the vet. (Poor Daddy. He really wanted to go to bed.) At the vet I got a shot and they made me take some medicine, and then I came home and fell asleep with my Daddy. I feel much better now, especially since Mommy and Daddy took me to visit Gramma and Grampa to make up for all the torture they put me through today! I mean, c'mon, haven't I been to the vet enough in my short little life?

So, anyway, I overheard Mommy saying she thinks she has found a place for us to move to. And soon it will be a reality - I WILL HAVE MY VERY OWN ROOM! Mommy reminded me of that again today, and I did a little beagle dance of joy. Wait till my cousin Skye hears, she will be soooooo jealous (nah nah nah nah naaaaahhhh).

Well, it's time for bed. I've almost got Mommy and Daddy trained to sleep at the foot of the bed. Just a few more nights of relentless kicking, and I think they will have the idea.

Puppy kisses for all!

Beagle at the Park.

Last Thursday my Daddy took me for a walk in the park. This is a poem I wrote to commemorate this wonderful walk, on which I got wet, muddy, and stinky, and then promptly received a bath upon my arrival home (grrrrrrr).

My Daddy took me to the local park.
We took a long walk before it got dark.
All over we went, round and round,
My beagle nose never left the ground.
I sniffed everything - everything in sight!
And I ate everything - everything that didn't bite!
Sniff-sniff-sniff, what's that I smell?
It's a squirrel, he was here, I can definitely tell!
Sniff-sniff-sniff, what's that over there?
It's a biiiig piece of poo. . . . .
OMG LEMME EAT IT PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE I WANNA EAT IT! PLEEAASSEEE!
. . . .
So then we came home, and I got a bath,
And that part sucked, I was mad.
But now I am clean, and have fond memories
Of our wonderful stroll amongst the grass and trees.
. . . .even if I didn't get to eat any poo.

There ya go, pups. Some real beagle creativity. Oh, and Daddy, next time I will conquer the poo!

Puppy kisses for all!

How to Eat a Cherry Tomato.

1. First, "kill" the tomato - paw it, pounce on it, bark at it, and do everything in your power to make sure that mini-tomato is not going to bite you back.

2. Next, find a secret hiding place (I like to go behind the kitchen table in the dining room) and investigate all the wonder that is tomato. Bat that little thing around with your paws and see how rolly-poly it is.

3. As you begin the actual eating process, periodically spit the tomato out and inspect it. You want to make sure it has not spawned any eyes, teeth, or limbs.

4. Bite into the tomato - see how crunchy and squirty it is? If this is your first cherry tomato, you must be wondering how long this delightful fruit has existed without you knowing about it.

5. It is now safe for you to swallow your tomato, seeds, skin, and all. When you've finished, go back to the person who gave it to you and beg for another. If they're unwilling to share, beagle-bark at them until they give you one "just to shut you up," and repeat steps 1-4. Happy cherry tomato eating, pups!

Puppy kisses for all!

A Beagle Record.

I did not get in trouble at Gramma and Grampa's house ONCE this weekend. Well, except for those picture frames I knocked over, and the teddy bear I (almost) ripped up, and the food I stole off Grampa's plate. But you know, nothing major.

Mommy and Daddy are talking about that "moving" thing again. Last time we moved I was just tiny, and still a little sick. Now I'm all growed up and healthy, so maybe I will like it more than the first time. I just hope they don't fold up my crate this time. I HATE HATE HATE when someone folds up my crate. It's my crate, not yours, so keep away. Mommy keeps telling me I will have my own room! Goodness, a beagle with his own room, what is the world coming to? A world full of regal beagles who rule the earth, that's what!

Puppy kisses for all!

A Beagle's Life

Hey, doggies. Here's an update on all the stuff I chewed up this week while Daddy was home with me sleeping:

• a powder puff
• a gray sock
• a postcard
• those pictures that Mommy and Daddy took of me in December (they were bad anyway)
• a fabric softener sheet
• eight kleenexes
• some toilet paper
• my new rope toy (totally destroyed)

And, last but not least,
• a turd. Okay, maybe more than a turd.

Just thought you'd like an update. It's off to Gramma and Grampa's house tomorrow. I'll post another update when I manage to get in trouble.

Puppy kisses for all!

What a weekend.

Well, pups, this weekend was rocky, to say the least. I was, if you will, being quite a PILL over at Gramma and Grampa's house. Well, I actually ate about six pills that Gramma set out for Grampa on the kitchen table. Look, when Gramma sets something on the table, I don't care who it's for, I'm gonna jump up there and get it the minute she turns her back. And that's exactly what I did. I mean, I'm just a little doggie, what am I supposed to think??? Is it not every human's purpose on this earth to give ME presents and treats? So, as it turns out, I ate all these pills and about three of them were potentially harmful (but booooooy were they yummy). I didn't understand what I did, but all of a sudden Daddy and Gramma were making me drink all this milk (oooh, that was soooo good) and they were on the phone with frantic voices, calling all kinds of places. I ignored them and crapped out in front of the space heater with a belly full of milk. Then Daddy tried to get me to drink this nasty-smellin' bubbly stuff, and I said, UH-UH NO WAY JOSE, that STINKS. So Daddy and Gramma got smart and soaked some bread with that nasty bubbly stuff. Now, how could a little beagle resist bread - even if it IS soaked with icky stuff. I gobbled it right down, but a few minutes later I started to feel bad. Daddy seemed to know I didn't feel good, and we went outside for a walk around the yard, where I promptly got rid of the milk, the bread, and all those yummy pills I had eaten (durn). After that I was mostly okay, but I couldn't keep anything down for the rest of the day. I know it was that durned nasty bubbly stuff! Gross! Oh, well. I guess I should be a little smarter about the things I steal from now on. . . . .

Puppy Kisses for all!

I've got sunshiiiiiinnneee. . . .

. . . On a clooouuudddyyy day. What's up, pups? Boy what a good beagle mood I'm in. I have so many pals, I just wanna take the time for some shout-- I mean, howl-outs! Okay, here goes.

To my hound pack homies in the South, Copper (RIP), Raymond, Fredder, Buford, and their foster sister, Martina, a big AROOOOOOOOOO. Also, to "Penny," I'll take you up on those dirty socks now.

To my little friend in the West, Cayenne Kysthadia, welcome home, baby! Also in the West is Sterling. WHAT UP, DAWWWWWG?

To my FORMER love in the North, Skye, I'm sorry you don't like beagles. It's your loss, sister. *Pouts*

And, to my NEW crush in the East, Maggie May Hamilton, you ARE a bealge, so you HAVE to like them! Maggie May is super-cool and famous, and she has her own blog, which you should go read right now. You heard me, get busy.

And for all my other pup pals (way too many to list here!), BIG WET SLURPY BEAGLE KISSES.

And just to let you all know, I'm staying with my Gramma and Grampa this weekend, and getting spoiled rotten as usual, while mommy makes some stuff for that "wedding" thing and daddy goes to that place he goes to when he leaves me. And Gramma and Grampa are feeding me too much and letting me chase them around the house, so anyone who wants to send me a jealous note, please do. I am, after all, the Royal Grand Beagle.

Puppy kisses for all!

Upside-down.

My world is upside-down, guys! Remember earlier this week I told you that my daddy stayed home with me all day? Well, he's still staying home with me all day. That's the good part. The bad part is that he LEAVES right as soon as it's BEAGLE CRAZY TIME. Why? Why does he not stay to tuck me in at night? Or rough me up and play with Wormy? *Hoooooowwwwwwwwwllllllllllll* I miss my daddy.

Oooh oooh oooh. Tomorrow is Friday! Time to visit gramma and grandpa! Lots of new things to sniff and steal! I don't mind getting into a little trouble once in a while. It's worth the thrill.

Puppy kisses for all!

Glamour Beagle

Hello everyone. Look at my new pictures! Mommy said I needed a new primary photo because I'm so much bigger now than I was in my old picture. These pictures are Glamour Beagle pictures, you know, the high-constrast kind designed to make a beagle look fabulous. (Actually they're icky point-and-shoot-camera shots that mommy really had to tinker with so that you can actually see a beagle and not just a blob.) I know, I know. You don't have to tell me. I'm so darn cute it hurts!

Puppy kisses for all!

What's going on?????

Okay, pups. This is the SECOND DAY IN A ROW that daddy has been here with me ALL DAY. What in tarnation is going on? Mommy leaves for work, and instead of going in my room, I get to sleep on daddy! I overheard daddy saying how much he HATES these "midnight" shifts, but if that's what's keeping him here with me all day, then I love them! I hope this never ends!

Meanwhile, there is still plenty of snow out there on the ground - almost enough for two beagles! Mommy bought me a new toy and we played and played. It had some ropey things on it, and she let me make a big, stringy mess all over the carpet. Thanks, mommy!

Puppy kisses for all!

Of Pups and Pals . . . and SNOW.

Aren't friends wonderful? I'm thankful for all my wonderful pup pals.

Meanwhile, I'm also enjoying the new snow. Mommy has been walking around all night saying some not-very-nice things under her breath about the snow. What is there to not like about it?!?!?! It sticks to your nose and makes you look like you have a mustache. It gets in between your toes and feels so funny. It's great to eat (even better when it's yellow). And it fluffs all over when you run through it at torpedo speed! That is the best! Mommy always giggles when I do my crazy beagle run through the snow. Now if only I had one of them durn space heaters . . . .

Puppy kisses for all!

The space heater at Gramma and Grampa's house.

The space heater at Gramma and Grampa's house is, I think, my favorite thing. Mommy says I like to "crap out" in front of it. Wait a minute Mommy, I spent a good long time potty training and I'm proud to say I do not crap in the house (anymore). But anyway, the space heater is, like, beagle heaven. It's like magic - it makes me feel warm and fuzzy all over. I'm on cloud nine when I'm napping in front of it. I think Mommy and Daddy should get a space heater, but I overheard Mommy say that the landlord wouldn't like it too much and that it would be a "fire hazard." Darn. Oh well, maybe they will get me one after they do this "wedding" thing in October - whatever that is - and move to a house. Or at least somewhere they can have a space heater. Okay, back to warm fuzzy beagle bliss. My paws are getting chilly again.

Puppy kisses for all!

A Beagle-tastic Day

Boy, what a fun day! First, daddy came home early and let me out of my room. Then he went night-night for a while on the bed and I went with him. There's nuthin' better than sleepin' on daddy's feet. Then mommy got home, and everyone knows that EVERYTHING is perfect when mommy is here! Then in the evening uncle Dan came over to play with me! Wowie cazowie, I love my peoples! And get this - tomorrow is Friday, and soon I will get to see my gramma!! YAY!

Puppy kisses for all!

My Mommy Takes the Morning Train . . .

. . . She works from nine to five and then . . . well, you know the rest. Well, okay, mommy doesn't really take a train to work - she takes her big red car (the one that I like to ride in best - daddy's is always such a pigsty). She does work nine to five though, but she's nice enough to come home in the middle of the day to let me go "get busy" outside. And, yeah, I miss her while she's away, but when she gets home, IT'S BEAGLE CRAZY TIME. I spend all day in my special room, so I have lots and lots of sheer beagle energy to burn off at the end of the day. Mommy and daddy play with me and throw my knobby ball and my jack for me, and it's one big beagle party. And of course, at some point, Wormy comes into the picture. Occasionally mommy does things that really tick me off, like go to visit gramma without me. (She was talking about that yesterday, and I wanted to scream, "Hey, what about meeeeeeeeeeee????"). But all in all, my mommy is great, and so is my daddy. Except he is the one who gives me baths and clips my toenails, so I try to keep assured cleared distance when I hear him run water or see him take the clippers out of my cupboard. Having such a nice family is a wonderful thing.

Puppy kisses for all!

Do you believe. . .

. . . In love at first sight? I do. I love most things at first sight. People, other doggies, yucky things on the ground, food. . . . You name it. But the one thing that has permanently stolen my heart is my cousin Skye. The first time I met Skye (when I was still just really a little, little baby), I was so giddy and happy that I think I scared her, for she has not ever really liked me back. It breaks my heart so. I wish she would play with me and snuggle with me and share her toys with me. . . . . . but, no. Skye is a big fraidy-cat, afraid of a harmless little beagle like me. In fact, mommy can't even take me to visit her because she and Gramma are afraid that Skye will actually be mean to me. And yet I cannot stop thinking about her. She is my true love, "cousin" or not. Oh, well, I guess there are other fish in the sea (er, doggies in the park).

Peace out, puppies!

Look at me!

See that last picture of me, standing in the parking lot next to my mommy? Boy, that was a looooong time ago. That was over the summer, the first time I met my Gramma. She came to mommy and daddy's apartment just to see me for the first time and take my picture. I can't believe I was ever that little! I was only about seven pounds in that picture. Now I am over twenty. I know I'm not all that big (wait a minute. . . . no, I don't!), but I am a LOT of dog in a little package! It doesn't matter if you're a person or a little doggie or a big doggie - I treat them all the same. That is, I LOVE them all the same! And I'm not afraid of ANYTHING. Well, except the dumpster and really loud noises and the piece of paper I saw blowing around in the yard the other day that made my hackles stand up. But other than that, I am as brave as can be, and if you were a German Shepherd, you would be surprised at how UNSCARED of you I would be! But, I guess the point is, that I'm almost all grown up now, and I have the feeling that my mommy is kinda sad about it. I'm gonna be nine months old pretty soon, and it seems sometimes like mommy and daddy just brought me home yesterday! I know they missed out on a lot of the fun puppyhood is supposed to be, because I was sick a lot. But look at me now, you'd never even know! I'm as healthy as a beagle could be, and I love my mommy and daddy for taking care of me and doing everything they could to make me better. And I may be almost full-grown, but I'll always be their little baby beagle.

P.S. - Did anybody notice how BIG my feets look in that picture?? I'm happy to report that I've since grown into them . . . .

Wowie Cazowie!

I've only been on Dogster for four days, and already I've made sooo many friends! Thanks, everyone, for all you love! *bark bark*

This weekend was great! Another well-spent one at Gramma and Grampa's house. There's nothing better than sniffing all kinds of yucky stuff in their yard and harassing their dog, King (who, I might add, is part German Shepherd and part Great Pyrenees. . .yeah, that's right, I roll with the BIG DOGS). I can't wait for the day that mommy and daddy move to a big house and get me someone of my very own to play with! But, for right now, I'm okay with being the only one to spoil. It's kinda nice having mommy's lap all to myself!

Puppy kisses for all!