The Spelzer Chronicles

Ya smell that? It's the winds of change!

That's right you Republican fascists. YOU LOSE!!! Now at last we can get some real law making accomplished. We're going to move forward with genetic research that will lead to wonderful new things like trees that sprout chicken jerky and not toxic chocolate. Not to mention making poo smell like flowers. I want to extend personal congratulations to Bob Casey Jr., Ed Rendell, and the great Commonwealth of Pennsylvania for getting rid of that insane fascist douchebag, Rick Sanitarium. Governor Ed we wish you luck as you continue to take on Pennsylvania's puppy mills. Grind those Amish dog killers into the ground.

I also want to congratulate Senator Claire for defeating Jim Talent in the great "Show Me" state of Missouri. She has promised to shut down that state's puppy mills too. Go get 'em Claire!

But most of all I can't wait to hear all of the nambypamby Republican excuse making. Tom "Family Values doesn't apply to Republican Sex Perverts and I didn't put that money in my butt, or illegally gerrymander those districts in Texas," Delay is already whining on CNN. "The Democrats didn't win, the Republicans lost." What the hell does that mean?!? I'll tell you what it means. The Republicans are a bunch of whining, sore loser fascists who have spent the last 6 years ignoring the needs of the middle class, shoving a fat bloated deficit down our throats, while overseeing (or not) the most poorly managed military conflict since Vietnam, and further jeopardizing our national security by not implementing the 9/11 Commission's recommendations, and giving fat tax breaks to the rich. What all this means to all you so-called do gooders who got sucked in my the "Christian Values" crap they were dishing (bet you feel a little foolish now with all the sex perversion and gayness coming out...but as we all know now, it's okay to be gay if you're Republican--it's the Democratic Gays that have to be deported to concentration camps), is that you got duped into allowing the Republican party to do exactly what it has planned since Ronald Reagan took office in 1980: Cripple the federal government with deficits so large that social programs are destroyed and the only thing it can do is give financial advantages to the rich and wage war. If you don't believe me you can go ask Grover Norquist. He'll tell you all about it.

But now at least there's a Congress I can work with. Full speed ahead with the Atomic Pooper Collider and all my other animal welfare plans. And don't worry...if the Democrats get out of line I'll pee on them too. I am an Unaffiliated Dog after all.