The Nut

Turns out, for a small dog, Peanut is a big-time bed hog! Eventually, I just moved to the couch.

I wonder if Peanut is more than a little confused. This morning, I found her humping Max. Mom was mad about that. She yelled, "Peanut! You are not allowed to hump Max!" Maxie is a pretty easygoing kitten, but the look on his face was clearly: "That the HELL are you doing!!" Then, he sprung to his feet and starting bathing immediately. I guess he felt violated.

My Buddy

Lotsa news . . .

1) Mom and TJ left me for another week. Their second trip this year. In February they just had to get away from the long winter, so they jetted off to Florida. Don’t they think I get cold too? Wouldn’t it be nice if I could lay on the chaise lounge by the pool?

Apparently not.

Last week they zipped off on a Caribbean cruise. And, I don’t feel bad mentioning that they didn’t bring me a damn thing. Not so much as a Milkbone. I was hopelessly depressed when the suitcases came out and summer clothes were strewn all over the bedroom. [Max seems to enjoy the packing ritual. He has been crazier than ever.] However, to their credit, Mom and TJ left me in good hands. Jen (Veda’s mom) stayed at the condo with me. First off, Jen is waaaayy cooler than Mom. She took me to see my biological parents and my brother Apache (didn’t much care for him!) She arranged playdates and taught how to smoke cigarettes. We went for walks and she gave me a bath. I cried for her when she went home. She’s my buddy. Since then, Mom has been trying to get back in my good graces with chicken. I think I’ll milk it for a while.

2) On their trip, TJ asked Mama to marry him. She showed me the sparkler on her finger. This means two things: TJ is going to live with us and he is going to be my daddy (complete with adoption and name change.) Perhaps there will be a backyard in my future.

3) Mama quit her obedience training job at Petsmart. It’s both good and sad. We both miss seeing the pups, but now we also get to spend more time together—especially on the weekends.

4) My friend Peanut is spending a couple nights with us while her mom and dad go out of town. It’s very exciting because I don’t usually get to have sleepovers. Hope she doesn’t hog the covers—that’s my job.

To Serve & Protect

I was nearly called into action yesterday. As you may know, Mama teaches obedience classes at Petsmart. Therefore, I consider the store—the training center in particular—my property. Now that I am three, I am truly coming into my manhood. I am just a touch more territorial, protective of Mama and a lot less interested in rude, ill-mannered puppies.

Last night we were at Petsmart for a private lesson (two yellow labs named Emma and Wrigley). They’re good pups, just a little handsy. I was chilling with their mom, Pastor Kathy as the lesson was beginning. A talkative onlooker approached and started commenting on Emma and Wrigley. Something was odd about him. I thought maybe he was a few sandwiches short of a picnic. As he weaseled in to the training area I felt Kathy tighten up on my leash. His words sounded funny—kind of mushed together. He said I was very good and I indulged him—even allowed him to pet me. Mama kept one eye on him while she led Emma through a figure eight pattern in heel position.

I let him know with a deep, clear growl when I’d had enough. He had taken to hovering over me and patting me obnoxiously on the top of my head—you know how people pet you when they don’t know any better? I hate that. He wouldn’t back off. Not even after Mom said, “Excuse me, you’re making him nervous.” She literally grabbed him by the jacket and pulled him off me. He said, “I’m not scared.” Well, he oughta be. I thought I sounded perfectly ferocious. Eventually, he stumbled away and Kathy said he was drunk.

Our Birthdays Are Feathers In The Broad Wing Of Time.

Today is my birthday! Happy happy birthday! I am three years old. Mama says I’m a man dog. Tonight we’re going to my sister Gracie’s house for pizza and cake and presents—maybe even some adult beverages for the grownups (and sneaky dogs). There will be four honorary birthday dogs and five other party guests. I can’t wait!
Hugs!

Why I’m on Santa’s Naughty List

1. The litterbox is not a treasure chest filled with delicious Dogiva after-dinner mints.

2. I had no right to snarl at Bruce the Bulldog when he came to Mama's obedience class. In fact, after I threatened Bruce, Mama took off my CGC tag. She said that Good Citizens do not behave in such a way. Now, I have to earn back my tag.

3. I do not own the public laundry room in our condo building. I had no right to refuse that woman entry.

4. I pooped the house. (It was way better than going out in the snow)

5. Max and I played tug with the Christmas tree. It was his idea!

Mom says she has Santa’s cell phone number and I have a limited number of days to change my behavior. Is anybody else on the Naughty List?
I promise to try to be better, Santa. Please don't leave coal in my stocking!

Certifiable . . .no, wait . . .Certified!

I passed! I'm an official Canine Good Citizen and I've got the collar bling to prove it. Teacher Judy said I am just fabulous and wonderful and such a gentleman. Boy, did that fill my head. I was strutting my stuff all over that field house. Mama called me cocky. Each time I passed a skill Mama said, "Yes!" and I leaped into the air and did crazy tazmanian devil spins!

This is a great achievement for me because it means I am on my way to visiting hospitals and nursing homes. It's important work--making people feel good. Sometimes people get sick and are stuck in bed. Sometimes they don't even have visitors. I hope I can make them smile.

My sis Veda passed too! See her page at: www.dogster.com/pet_page.php?i=209521&j=t
This was a special accomplishment because Veda is deaf.

Love to all,
Tucker, CGC

Way to Go, Max!

Congratulations, Maxie!! How exciting to be named Catster's Diary of the Day. You're a STAR! Don't pay any attention to Cubby--he's just jealous.

Your Big Brother,
Tucker

Maxwell House Coffee

I know you were all worried, but I am not as sad anymore. I think everything will be ok. Max was drinking out of my water bowl and he spilled it all over the floor. Mama said Max was very bad for spilling. Ha!

He is very fast and small. That means he can fit in tight spaces where I can't reach and he squeeks if I step on him. Oops.

Max curled up with me last night. He was crawling all over me and sniffing and rubbing and purring. It was kinda nice. Then, he gave me a really good back rub--he used his claws, but not too much. Best of all, his poop tastes good.

:) Tucker Ducker

Worry Wart

Mom got a baby. He's like Cubby--you know, short, pointy ears, fluffy tail, sharp claws. His name is Max and I guess he's gonna live with us. Mom keeps saying, "Easy, Tucker. Careful, Tucker. It's a baby, Tucker." I don't know what to do. He smells really good and I like him, but I'm worried that Mom won't be able to love us both. When she wasn't looking I peed on her laundry. That'll show her! Now she won't forget me.

:( Tuck

Jelly Beans

Sheesh! The other day Mom spent all evening following Cubby around with a little gray box.
It said: flashflashflash....zzpptttt! And there was a bright light. She did this over and over. I tried to get close to sniff it, but she kept me at arm's length. "Go lay down, Tucker."
"But, Mom," I wimpered. "Do you still love me? He is just a cat!" Mom said even cats need love and attention. Do you believe that?!

Later, I got to go with Mom to TJ's softball game and Cubby had to stay home.