February 15th 2006 4:52 pm
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Wow, it's been a long time since I wrote in my diary. I'm bad at this diary stuff. But, it has been a very eventful year since I wrote in my diary the last time! First, mommy and I got a new house. I like it a lot! It has lots of room for me to run around, and it even tastes good! Mommy got kind of mad when I tasted the wall, though. It was kind of crunchy, I just couldn't help myself!! Anyway, then last summer I got a new brother. His name was Herman, and I LOVED him! Herman lived with us from July until the end of October. He got really sick one night, and mommy took him to the hospital but he didn't come back home with her. I was really upset. Mommy said that he got sick, something called bloat? She said it was like a really bad tummy ache that needs an operation to make it better. And that Herman wasn't strong enough to have the operation, so now he is in heaven. I missed Herman really bad when he wasn't here anymore, I didn't want to eat or anything, just sit on mommy's lap. I didn't start to feel better about Herman not being here for about a month, but then I decided to start eating again because mommy was worried about me! I still miss him like crazy, and I wish he was still here. BUT, mommy said that after Christmas we might meet another doggy that needed us... and in January we met Tigger! I knew that Tigger was my brother right away, and he liked me too! Tigger lives with us now all the time. He has gained a lot of weight since he came to live with mommy and me, which is very good because now we can wrestle! Tigger walks funny though, and mommy says he is going to go to the doctor to see why. As long as she brings him back from the doctor I guess it's OK.
Whew, I'm tired. Being a Great Dane is a lot of work! I have to sleep a lot to make sure I have enough energy to be awake! I'll try to write again soon, I just don't have enough attention to remember my diary!
February 20th 2005 9:10 pm
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I love toys. I love it when my mom gives me new toys, and I totally have her trained to keep bringing new ones, too. All I had to do was chew up my uncle's new box of a thousand business cards because I was bored when mom was asleep, and now I have new toys all the time. And all I have to do to keep 'em coming is chew a little something up whenever I'm bored with my toys. Like that little box grandma brought back from her trip to Russia- it tasted pretty bad, but I made sure to chew it up good so that mom would get me some real fun new toys. I'm very careful not to do it TOO often, though, because I don't want her to catch on!
Anyway, she never buys me stuffies anymore, which is too bad because I have SOOOOO much fun pulling all that fluffy stuff out from inside of them! I'm so good at it that I can get ALL that stuff out in less than ten minutes! And one time she bought me this thing, what'd she call it..... oh, yeah, a treat ball. That was fun to chew up, and it took me a long time to really chew it good, too. My silly girlfriend Kona has one, but she just pushes it around with her nose. (Just between you and me, I don't think Labbies are all that smart, you know? Otherwise she'd do what she's supposed to do and CHEW on it.) She does have some kind of good luck, though, because whenever she's rolling that dumb ball around she seems to find a TON of treats on the floor! Anyway, I like toys that squeek. But only ones that squeek really, really, REALLY loud. Oh, yeah! Which reminds me, my new favorite toy! Don't tell my mom but my most favorite toy in the WORLD is my left back foot. Yup! It is always there right when I want to play with it, no one can hide it from me, mom can't take it away from me when she thinks I was bad, and Kona can only play with it if I let her. How ideal is that??!! And boy, do I let that foot have it, too! I just had a great time showing it who the boss is here. I chewed on it for a while, and I growled at it a LOT too. My mom laughs at me when I chew on my foot, and I guess that's OK as long as she doesn't actually know that it's my favorite toy. Because if she did she would probably stop bringing me new squeeky toys, and I would have to chew something of HERS to teach her a lesson, and it would just be a big bad cycle. Wow, I'm tired now.
February 11th 2005 7:25 pm
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I don't know why my mom expects me to eat dog food. She keeps giving it to me, morning and night, day after day. It's like she thinks I'm a DOG or something. Silly mommy. I mean, how could I possibly be a dog??? I am WAY more evolved than a dog. First of all, I'm way taller than any dog I've ever seen around here. They can't eat things off the counter like I can, and that's got to count for something. And I'm also way more intelligent- I mean, how many dogs help their moms cook like I do? I ALWAYS clean off the cutting board after she's done using it- I wait until she turns around so it's a surprise when she sees the nice thing I've done for her. See, there's no way I'm a dog. Now that I'm on a bit of a rant, I hate it when people ask my mom if I'm a pony, and then laugh. A PONY??!! Can't they see that I am tall, sleek, and lean? Ponies are, well, stocky! And then they ask her if she's got a saddle for me. She only puts those on her horses, duh! But she always laughs to be polite, so I laugh to be polite, too. Except when I laugh I kinda sound like Chewbacca, and for some reason the people look at me like they're scared or something when I do that. But then mommy laughs for real, so I guess it's OK. So I keep laughing with her.
Anyway, back to the dog food thing. Doesn't she see that it's demeaning for me to be expected to eat that stuff? I have much finer tastes than that. I tried to show her my appreciation for finer things a little while ago by taking a few sips of wine from her glass, but silly mommy took it away from me! I guess I'll have to take another apple from the fruit bowl to show her that I am way too evolved to be eating dog food. Just don't call me a pony.